10 Phrases Superficial People Often Say Without Even Realizing It
What they say when they care more about building up their social status than making close connections.
NoemiEscribano | Shutterstock Superficial people focus more on building up their social status than making close connections with people, which means they often base friendships around what someone can offer them. Superficial people tend to be materialistic. They define their worth based on what they own. They see their possessions as indications of their wealth and importance, which they equate with being high class.
Superficial people avoid having deep discussions about their hopes, dreams, and fears. Instead, the majority of their conversations stay on the surface level. It might seem like they have a large group of friends, but superficial people usually aren't close with anyone on a truly intimate, emotional level.
Here are 10 phrases superficial people often say without even realizing it:
1. ‘I wish I had your life’
Cast Of Thousands | Shutterstock
Superficial people often say, "I wish I had your life,” which they don’t realize is inconsiderate. Someone superficial usually won’t ask questions about what’s going on in other people’s lives. Instead of asking how another person feels, they stick to shallow subjects, which often means they don’t notice or understand their life.
They might tell a friend who just returned from vacation, “I wish I had your life,” without knowing their friend was caring for an ailing parent while they were away. They might say, “I wish I had your life,” to someone wearing an outfit they want or someone with a high-powered job. They only exclaim that they wish for someone else’s life because their life appears glamorous or exciting, yet they don’t try to find out what their life is like.
2. ‘I’d never live in a place like that’
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
Another phrase superficial people often say without realizing it is, “I’d never live in a place like that.” They pass snap judgments on other people’s social status based on what neighborhood they live in or what their house looks like. Superficial people who say phrases like “I’d never live in a place like that” don’t realize it makes them seem like they weren’t raised with good manners.
Superficial people fail to consider that money isn’t everything. While money gives people privileges and access that others don’t have, it doesn't guarantee happiness. As David Schroeder, a licensed social worker, explained, the key to real happiness isn’t money but rather the compassion people carry for themselves and others, which provides a foundation for self-love and self-reflection.
“True and sustained happiness is an inside job,” Schroeder revealed. “People, money, material possessions, and status will not create true inner happiness.”
Living a genuinely fulfilling life has less to do with your house's appearance than what goes on inside it. A safe home that’s full of laughter and family togetherness is better than a mansion could ever be.
3. ‘I’m only friends with beautiful people’
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Superficial people emphasize appearances and often say phrases like “I’m only friends with beautiful people.” Because they care more about what people look like than how they act, they get stuck in superficial friendships that don’t last.
Psychologist Dr. Murray Bowen emphasized the value of cultivating a “person-to-person relationship” over having shallow connections to other people. A deep, person-to-person relationship requires people to show who they are by sharing what they believe in and what their past experiences have been. Moving past superficial relationships means people have to find strength in being vulnerable. They have to open up and let other people see who they are. Once they do so, they’ll realize that true beauty comes from being their most authentic self.
4. ‘If it’s not on social media, it never happened’
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
Superficial people often say, “If it’s not on social media, it never happened.” They place immense value on having followers and getting likes, yet they don’t recognize how harmful chasing that particular high can be. They rely on social media to measure their lives against what other people have, which can leave them feeling inferior.
While comparing ourselves to others is a normal part of being human, social media can make it so easy to fall into the comparison trap that it’s impossible to escape.
Gen Zers, who’ve never known life without social media, deeply understand how much damage it can do to their sense of self. They might be chronically online, but it’s been reported that 40% of Gen Z wishes social media never existed. Scrolling TikTok or Instagram seems like an act of connection, yet the sense of isolation makes people feel very lonely.
5. ‘Your job is so basic’
insta_photos | Shutterstock
Another phrase that superficial people say is “Your job is so basic,” and they don’t mean it as a good thing. Superficial people care deeply about how everyone else sees them. This often means they prioritize wearing expensive clothes, driving fancy cars, and having a job title that elevates their social status.
When job-hunting, they don’t consider work-life balance or whether their boss is a narcissistic leader. They’re willing to overlook things like toxic company culture just as long as the job boosts them up a rung or two on the corporate ladder. They look down on having a “basic” job because they care less about making ends meet and more about the status their job awards them.
6. ‘No one will ever notice you if you look like that’
Kmpzzz | Shutterstock
Superficial people rely on external validation to form their self-worth, saying, "No one will ever notice you if you look like that.” They often ascribe to impossibly high standards of beauty. They define themselves by their appearance and whether they’re seen as attractive by other people.
Yet placing such intense value on their looks sometimes leads to unhealthy relationships. Dating and relationship coach Janet Ong Zimmerman revealed that relationships built around superficial, physical connections might seem perfect from the outside but lack depth and genuine feeling.
“A healthy relationship has depth in emotion, intimacy, and vulnerability,” she explained. Zimmerman acknowledged that walking away from an unhealthy relationship is anything but simple, yet doing so is a brave, whole-hearted act that honors a person’s inherent lovability.
“Having the love you want and deserve takes courage,” she concluded.
7. ‘It’s so brave that you don’t wear make-up’
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
The phrase “It’s so brave that you don’t wear make-up” is something superficial people often say without even realizing it. This phrase is a classic example of a compliment that’s an insult. Superficial people overemphasize the importance of physical beauty. They believe going into the world without covering your blemishes or smoothing your wrinkles is brave.
While this phrase isn’t the most polite thing someone could say, it’s essential to understand that it’s not coming from a mean place. From a superficial person’s perspective, leaving the house without makeup highlights the depths of someone's inner strength.
8. ‘I’m only into people who make 6 figures’
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Superficial people often say, “I’m only into people who make 6 figures,” without realizing that it paints them as materialistic and greedy. Having a high income isn’t a determination of anyone’s worthiness as a human being. By saying they’re only interested in people who make a lot of money, superficial people give the impression that they only care about what a potential partner can buy them.
Basing a relationship on wealth might mean going out to fancy restaurants and living a lavish lifestyle, but emotional connection and real love aren’t about where you go or how you look standing next to each other. True romance is about just being together and finding fulfillment in the company the other person provides.
9. ‘If you tried harder, you’d fit in’
Diana Indiana | Shutterstock
Superficial people often say the phrase, “If you tried harder, you’d fit in,” without realizing that it makes them sound like a bully. Instead of embracing their quirks, they bury the weirder parts where no one else can see them. They smooth themselves out to fit in because being cool and having social capital is hugely important to them.
In doing so, they miss out on learning a valuable lesson: Being different can help them find genuine, lasting connections. In an article published in Psychology Today, Nathaniel Lambert, Ph.D., explains that displaying their unique side can “Be an invaluable people filter.” Showing who they are can cut people who don’t care about them on a human level but instead see them solely as a means to an end.
10. ‘Being popular is all that matters’
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A. | Shutterstock
A phrase superficial people often say without realizing it is, “Being popular is all that matters.” They confuse popularity with actually being liked. They don’t get that quality matters so much more than quantity. There’s nothing wrong with people who only have a few friends as long as those friends respect them and care for them.
Being popular can seem like the most important part of life, yet most people let go of that notion when high school ends. Superficial people put so much effort into being popular that they often let deeper, more meaningful friendships pass them by. People who didn’t get along with popular kids in school are no less worthy of love just because they weren’t considered cool.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and the entertainment industry.