10 Phrases People Use When They Secretly Don't Like You
Sometimes, their words aren't so subtle.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock It's generally easy to tell when a person likes you. They light up when you walk into a room. They want to spend time with you, and share their vulnerable side, revealing their worries, their embarrassing moments, and their life goals.
When people care about each other, they show it by extending respect, trust, and care, in the hopes that those pillars of connection will be returned. Yet sometimes, our relationships aren't what they seem.
Someone might pretend to care about you when they secretly don't like you. These people aren't honest about how they feel, so they string you along and make you believe otherwise. And sometimes, they share that disdain with certain phrases.
Here are 10 phrases people use when they secretly don't like you
1. 'I guess some people have low standards'
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When someone says this phrase, it means they hold themselves above you and don't really respect you or your choices.
If you tell someone about how your boyfriend forgot your anniversary or didn't notice your new haircut, and they respond by mentioning other people's low standards, those other people they're referring to are actually you.
They might think they're being subtle, but really, their contempt is fairly obvious, which means they secretly don't like you.
2. 'I couldn't handle being in your situation'
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Imagine that you open up to a friend and reveal that you're struggling with your job or your relationship or your role as a parent. You peel back all your protective layers and let your friend see the real you, with all your vulnerabilities, worries, and imperfections.
Now, imagine that your friend responds by saying, "I couldn't handle being in your situation." This phrase is a false compliment people use that implies that they think you're in an unlucky and unfortunate position.
It's framed in a way where it seems like they're praising you for how strong or brave you are, but really, they're letting you know how little they think of you.
3. 'That's so typical of you'
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A person who tells you that something you've done is "so you" is essentially putting you down. They might not like your choice of partner or disagree with your lifestyle, but instead of being honest, they use this vague overgeneralization.
When someone uses this phrase, they're essentially putting you in a box, as if to say, "Well, I expected you'd do that." It shows they have very little faith in your ability to make the right choices for yourself, and they're passive-aggressively telling you that they don't really support you.
4. 'We can't all be perfect'
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Someone might say this when you tell them about a mistake you made at work, like bombing a presentation or putting your foot in your mouth in front of your boss. You're seeking affirmation and reassurance, but all they offer you in return is criticism.
Saying, "We can't all be perfect" highlights what you did wrong and ignores any attempt to make you feel better, all said with an air of superiority. People who say this phrase probably think they're better than everyone else, which is really a sign that they're hiding their own deep insecurities by insulting you.
5. 'I could never pull off that outfit'
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Everyone has their own sense of style. Ideally, people should dress in a way that makes them feel good, without worrying what anyone else thinks. Yet in reality, one barbed comment about our clothes can make us feel bad about ourselves and deflate our confidence.
If someone tells you they could never pull off what you're wearing, it's a thinly-veiled insult, designed to poke at your sense of self-worth. While this comment seems fit for the high school cafeteria, it's no secret that bullying can happen at any age.
Whoever tells you this probably doesn't feel secure in who they are, which is no excuse for poor behavior, but it helps soothe the pain to know that phrases like this have less to do with you than with them.
6. 'You've always been an individual'
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This phrase is another sign that someone doesn't really like you. Individuality and creativity are traits that should be celebrated, yet when a person dislikes you, they'll wield them like weapons. They try to make you feel bad for being who you are by calling attention to the parts of your personality that make you stand out.
It's hard to let statements like this slide, but as they say, the best revenge is living well. So, keep doing what you're doing. Let your most authentic self shine through, while the people who won't like you stand on the sidelines, blinded by your glow.
7. 'We have different priorities'
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A person who tells you they have different priorities is basically throwing shade at the decisions you've made. They might work as an animal rights activist while you're climbing the corporate ladder, but that doesn't make your job any less noble or valid than theirs.
Everyone has their own set of values they live by, but being judgmental shouldn't be part of them. As long as you're not actively causing others harm, your choices are no one's business but your own.
8. 'You must not care what people think'
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This phrase is another example of casting not-so-subtle judgment on your demeanor or how you present yourself to the outside world. Someone who uses this phrase probably lives according to other people's expectations, and feels threatened by anyone who breaks the mold.
When a person looks at what you're wearing or how you're dancing or what you've decided to eat for dinner and tells you that you must not care what anyone else thinks, they're insulting you in a way that reveals their own insecurities. They might not like you, but they like themselves even less.
9. 'I'm not judging but...'
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Someone who secretly doesn't like you will tell you that they're not being judgmental, when really, that's all they're being. This phrase is the epitome of being judgy, the holy grail of someone declaring their intentions to undermine you while pretending to be your friend.
False friendships are based on harsh judgment, whereas a truly nourishing friendship is based on mutual respect, care, and acceptance, even when your friend doesn't agree with you.
10. 'I'm just really busy'
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This is a classic phrase that people use when they secretly don't like you but don't have the courage to tell you how they really feel. Instead of being honest and cutting the ties of a friendship that no longer serves them, they keep stringing you along.
Someone who tells you they're "just so busy" doesn't actually want to spend time with you, so they pretend they're totally overwhelmed with other things and blow you off, while making it seem like the decision is out of their hands.
People who blame how busy they are for their lack of commitment or follow-through tend to be emotionally avoidant, and you deserve someone who will actually show up for you, without making excuses.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.