11 Phrases People Say When They're Overwhelmed But Don't Want To Admit It
The first step in facing stress head-on is admitting you need help.
santypan | Shutterstock Experiencing some amount of stress is a normal part of life, but the more stress someone feels, the more likely it is that stress will escalate, leaving them completely overwhelmed. The phrases people say when they're overwhelmed but don't want to admit it can be subtle, which is why paying attention to the nuances of their words is so important.
There are two main types of stressors: major life events, like moving or losing a loved one, and chronic strains. Without healthy coping skills, chronic stress will keep building on itself, until it hits a breaking point. It's not easy for people who are overwhelmed to reassess how they're living, but they need to find balance to truly thrive.
Here are 11 phrases people say when they're overwhelmed but don't want to admit it
1. 'Everything's fine'
SFIO CRACHO | Shutterstock
More often than not, people pretend they're okay because they're scared to ask for help. Psychologist Mark Travers Ph.D. pointed out that most people have been trained to see vulnerability as a weakness, which leads them to cut themselves off from people when they need support the most. The idea that they should manage their emotions alone is deeply ingrained, but it's also totally mistaken.
Keeping stress a secret makes people feel isolated, so their feelings become even harder to handle. Opening up about difficult emotions creates a sense of connectedness, which ultimately helps people feel understood and accepted.
By saying "Everything's fine," people who are overwhelmed aren't allowing themselves to express how they really feel. Acknowledging their stress out loud is a way to diffuse it. Sharing their truth creates space for people to offer support. Being vulnerable is hard, but it's also a sign of strength, and it's the only way out of feeling overwhelmed.
2. 'I'll figure it out somehow'
fizkes | Shutterstock
This phrase is a close cousin to saying, "Everything is fine," when actually, nothing is fine. People who say this phrase put immense pressure on themselves to find their way out of tough times all on their own. While self-sufficiency is usually seen as a virtue, people can be so self-sufficient that they don't even notice they're drowning.
The first step to finding a solution to manage stress is being able to see that the tides around you are rising. Treading water might work for a while, but eventually, exhaustion overtakes you. There's no honor or glory in going it alone. The idea that we're supposed to figure everything out without support keeps us stranded in dangerous waters, which no one can survive for long.
3. 'I'm not stressed, I'm just tired'
YURII MASLAK | Shutterstock
While stress can echo the symptoms of exhaustion, saying they're just tired is a way for overwhelmed people to deflect what's really going on. Dealing with daily life can be depleting, which has been shown to be especially true for young people in the U.S.
According to the American Psychological Association's 2023 Stress in America survey, Gen Z and younger millennials reported higher stress levels than older generations: 67% of 18- to 34-year-olds and 63% of 35- to 44-year-olds feel "consumed" by financial worries. Only 13% of people 65 and older reported being that worried about money.
Young adults shared that their stress is "completely overwhelming," to the point that they're so emotionally numb, they can't function. When stress spirals out of control, it can force people into a freeze state that's incredibly hard to overcome. Catching stress early on helps people take care of themselves before their situation becomes dire.
4. 'I can't afford to take a break'
fizkes | Shutterstock
People usually say this phrase with a frazzled, tense tone that reveals how agitated they are. While it might seem counterintuitive, people who think they don't have time to rest are the ones who need rest the most.
Therapist Gloria Brame pointed out that starting a self-care practice can build up a buffer to protect yourself from chronic stress. "The optimal goal of self-care is to build your internal resources for dealing with life's stresses," she explained.
"Sleeping well, getting a restful nap, making sure to move your body throughout the day, practicing gratitude, and making time for meditation all help your body and mind feel more vigorous and alive — and help you weather problems that life may throw your way."
Climbing out from the depths of intense stress takes intentional action. Closing your computer and walking away from your desk can save you from imploding. Taking a break, even for a few minutes, gives you a moment to breathe and recenter yourself. Everyone deserves rest and relaxation, especially when they're overwhelmed.
5. 'I can handle anything'
Simona Pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
They say this to shrug off any concern that other people have for them. The underlying message of this phrase is, "Don't worry about me." People say they can handle anything to convince themselves that everything is under control, because the feeling of spinning out is so scary.
But no one can handle everything, all the time. Saying this phrase sets the stage for failure, followed by disappointment and shame that you couldn't reach your own impossible standards.
Researcher and author Brené Brown revealed that "Labeling emotions is core to regulating them and moving through them." She described being overwhelmed as a sensation in which "Our bodies and minds are experiencing that quicksand feeling," as though the ground beneath us is disappearing.
"Feeling both stressed and overwhelmed is about our narrative of emotional and mental depletion," Brown explained. "There's just too much going on to manage effectively. Naming the emotion helps us understand how to move through it."
6. 'I've got a lot on my plate'
fizkes | Shutterstock
People say, "I've got a lot on my plate" when they're overwhelmed but don't want to admit it. This phrase treats chronic stress with kid gloves, instead of describing it for what it really is: an all-encompassing sense that nothing is going right.
Being too busy is seen as a positive thing, as though stress were a badge of honor to wear proudly. Saying, "I've got a lot on my plate" allows people to share a sliver of how they feel without owning the full range of their emotions.
People often don't notice how overwhelmed they are until they're in over their heads. The little things on their plate keep piling up, until they're too big to ignore. Not admitting to immense stress keeps people from being their most productive selves and erodes their sense of emotional stability.
7. 'I'm in a bit of a rough patch'
Maridav | Shutterstock
Hitting low points is part of life. We can't expect to be perfectly content all the time. There's nothing wrong with being in a rough patch, but hiding the true scope of that rough patch can make people sink down even deeper.
Acceptance allows people to move through hard feelings, yet the steps that come after aren't always clearly defined. According to positive psychology, or the study of happiness, people can build up resilience in small, actionable ways.
One way to transform overwhelm into well-being is to write down three good things that happened to you every day for a week. This practice trains your brain to see what's going well, even when life feels dark.
Other positive psychology practices involve imagining your future, setting meaningful goals, and writing them down in detail. Visualizing your most authentic self in a more hopeful future can shift your mindset and help you move forward.
8. 'I'm hanging in there'
SistersStock | Shutterstock
This phrase lifts the curtain on a person's inner world just a little, but not enough to reveal how they feel. When people say they're hanging in there, they usually hope there's no follow-up questions, like, "Are you sure?" or, "What's going on?"
Hanging in there is fine, but it holds you back from having a full life. Approaching life as something to survive, holds people back from flourishing and finding true fulfillment.
Hypnotherapist Barbara Schiffman shared antidotes for feeling overwhelmed that can "reignite your connection with your own life." She pointed out that stress becomes unmanageable when "your overwhelmed feelings have been leading you to spend more time by yourself, give away things you used to love, or avoid people you used to enjoy."
"Sometimes all you need to do is change one little thing to shake up your routine and lift your spirits," Schiffman explained. "When we get in a rut, our energy shrinks; when we stir things up by doing them differently, it expands... Your life is worth living — and living well."
9. 'I need to keep pushing through'
Opat Suvi | Shutterstock
"I need to keep pushing through" is a phrase people say when they're overwhelmed but don't want to admit it. At best, pushing through is a short-term solution. At worst, it's like putting a band-aid over a much deeper wound and expecting it to heal you.
People who don't want to admit how overwhelmed they are run the risk of burning out completely. As relationship coach Jordan Gray pointed out, "If you've reached a place of full-on burnout, you've likely been shouldering too much for a long time."
Recovering from burnout requires listening to the messages your body is sending and reorganizing your life. It means you have to stop trying to outrun your overwhelm and reach out to loved ones for support.
"Stop trying to do life on your own," Gray advised. "Ask your friends for support. Tell your family members or close confidants that you're struggling. Let people in."
10. 'It's been worse, so I can't complain'
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
This phrase keeps people stuck in their suffering. It frames the act of sharing that they're overwhelmed in a negative light, instead of seeing it for what it really is: a positive first step to reclaiming their life.
Complaining isn't always such a bad thing. It shines a spotlight on the parts of your life that need to change. While chronic complainers make a permanent home out of everything that's wrong in their lives, saying you're overwhelmed doesn't mean you're going to stay there.
Just because things have been worse, you still deserve for your life to get better, and giving voice to what you're feeling can lead to an amazing place.
11. 'I'm doing my best'
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A. | Shutterstock
This phrase shows someone has a softer approach to feeling chronic stress. Saying, "I'm doing my best," is a way to afford themselves grace. They might not be saying, "I'm overwhelmed," in such direct words, but they're saying something close enough.
People who say this phrase are actively turning their compassion inward. Recognizing that they're doing their best is a way to hold space for hard things. It shifts the lens they see themselves with, from "I'm not doing enough" to "I'm doing what I can do," and that is more than enough.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.