11 Phrases Often Used By Emotionally Childish People
You wouldn't think people who act like babies would have so many words to say, and yet, they surely do.
Alas_spb / Shutterstock Most people have had the displeasure of encountering emotionally childish people at some point in their lives, whether at work, school, or elsewhere. And while dealing with them can be infuriating, knowing that there are certain phrases emotionally childish people use can help you take them less personally when you hear them directed at you.
According to WebMD, people who are emotionally childish lack certain emotional and social skills and have trouble relating to other adults. Which is to say, they don't have the impulse control necessary to keep them from saying some pretty ridiculous things.
These are 11 phrases often used by emotionally childish people
1. “It’s not my fault”
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The first phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “It’s not my fault.” If someone is truly mature, they always take accountability for their actions. Regardless of whether their mistake is big or small, emotionally mature individuals will put their pride away and summon an apology, even if it’s not solely their fault.
Emotionally immature people don’t want to admit that they’re wrong.
According to a study conducted in 2012, people often refuse to apologize because it diminishes their sense of self and control. As a result, most emotionally childish people can’t put their pride aside, resulting in them refusing to take accountability for their actions.
This immature behavior often takes a toll on their relationships, sometimes even resulting in them losing the people they cherish most in their lives.
2. “You made me do it”
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Emotionally childish people find it easier to place blame on other people. After all, the aftermath of bad decisions can be pretty unbearable. That said, this type of avoidance doesn’t pan out well in the long run.
According to a study in 2022, blamers tend to have difficulty with emotional regulation. Researchers found that people who don’t do well with negative emotions will blame others for their own bad choices in order to exempt themselves from responsibility.
However, this doesn’t usually go as well as they’d think. Better emotional regulation has been associated with greater well-being, socio-economic status, and income.
The next time an emotionally childish person uses the phrase, “You made me do it,” don’t take it too seriously.
3. “You’re always bringing up the past”
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The past can be full of painful memories that most people would rather not bring up. However, some hurt is so severe that no amount of apologies can fix it or make it better.
A phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “You’re always bringing up the past.”
Most emotionally childish people don’t understand or consider the consequences of their actions. As a result, these individuals will do or say things that directly impact their relationships for the worse.
4. “Fine, I just won’t talk to you”
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Everybody has received the silent treatment at some point in their life. Whether it’s by an angry child or a disappointed parent, the silent treatment is notorious for making people feel uncomfortable.
An emotionally childish person will choose the silent treatment over expressing their own emotions because, well, it’s just easier. After all, expressing one’s emotions takes courage, strength, and a bucketload of patience and self-control – something immature individuals unfortunately do not have.
As a result, a phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “Fine, I just won’t talk to you.” Not wanting to get into the reasons behind their frustration or sadness, childish people resort to shutting down instead of being honest about how they feel.
This often backfires, as a study in 2014 found that emotional suppression is associated with an increased risk of cancer-related mortality, as it causes people to engage in unhealthy behaviors.
Knowing this, everyone, including emotionally mature people, should take care not to suppress their emotions. Though it might seem easier to turn their emotions off, it’ll likely come back to bite them in the end.
5. “You’re overreacting”
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When tensions rise during arguments or disagreements, it can be all too easy to allow frustration or anger to get the better of you. Feeling cheated or misunderstood, people might resort to petty banter to feel heard by those around them.
If someone says, “You’re overreacting,” every time you have a disagreement with them, it’s likely because they’re an emotionally childish person.
A research article published in 2019 noted that empathy is crucial for conflict resolution. Emotionally childish people are too wrapped up in themselves to be empathetic, and often end up being dismissive instead.
6. “I don’t want to talk about it”
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Another phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “I don’t want to talk about it.” Childish people have a hard time expressing their emotions without allowing their anger or sadness to get the better of them.
On top of that, emotionally childish people won’t always be able to pinpoint why they feel the way they feel, resulting in them shying away from expressing their emotions. Because of this, emotionally immature people will often deflect and say they don’t want to talk about the issue in order to avoid diving deeper and learning about themselves.
Research shows that women who don’t express their emotions experience less relationship satisfaction than women who do, showcasing just how important it is for people, even childish people, to push their ego to the side and allow themselves to be vulnerable about how they’re truly feeling.
7. “That’s just how I am”
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Everybody has their own individual personality that comes with its own sets of quirks and flaws. However, there will always come a time when people are expected to adapt for the sake of those around them.
For some, this will be in smaller ways, such as learning to pick up their socks and put them in the laundry instead of expecting someone to do it for them. For others, it will be in bigger ways, like learning to be more patient during disagreements.
That said, a phrase emotionally childish people use often is, “That’s just how I am.”
Childish people who refuse to change say this in an attempt to excuse their behavior. Licensed psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus explained that most people refuse to change as a result of cognitive dissonance, which he said is when people experience mental discomfort as a result of holding two contradictory beliefs.
Emotionally childish people will reject ideas or information because of the discomfort they would have to endure in order to change.
8. “If you loved me you would…”
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A phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “If you loved me you would…” It should go without saying that uttering this phrase is pretty manipulative.
According to professor of sociology Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., a go-to action for manipulative people is distorting timelines and, most importantly, the truth. In some cases, a manipulative person might use phrases such as this one to coerce their loved ones into making a decision that goes against their best interests.
People should trek carefully when dealing with emotionally childish and manipulative individuals. Not only are they emotionally immature, but they can be dangerous.
9. “You always do this”
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Emotionally childish people can’t help but over-exaggerate and place blame on others. So a phrase emotionally childish people use often is, “You always do this.”
Saying the word ‘you’ in an accusatory manner during disagreements can instantly trigger the other person.
According to behavioral specialist Gregg Levoy, it’s important to use true ‘I’ statements instead, which he says “avoid blame and finger-pointing, and are admissions that you get triggered by certain situations, no matter who triggers it.”
That said, emotionally childish people don’t care too much about owning up to things. Instead, they’d rather place blame and accuse someone else in order to avoid taking accountability.
10. “I’m fine, you’re the one with the problem”
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When people are in the middle of a heated disagreement, it can be difficult to keep their emotions from spiraling out of control. After all, both people are only human. That said, a phrase often used by emotionally childish people is, “I’m fine, you’re the one with the problem.”
Childish people hate to admit that they’ve lost control over their emotions. In their eyes, they may view this lack of control as a hindrance to their goals and will purposely shift blame to put things back on track.
Unfortunately, this type of behavior doesn’t work out well for them, as they soon discover that no amount of shifting makes their emotions less difficult to deal with.
11. “I never get what I want”
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Finally, the last phrase emotionally childish people use often is, “I never get what I want.” Childish people can’t stand to lose, and because of that, will whine or complain when things don’t go their way.
They’ll throw temper tantrums or burst into tears to make the other person feel guilty for not giving in and giving them what they want.
Sadly for people who play the victim in order to get what they want, research shows that people who feel guilt-tripped are less satisfied with their relationship, which is unlikely to work out in the emotionally childish person’s favor in the long run.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help topics such as relationships, career, family, and astrology.