11 Phrases That Offend Emotionally Fragile People But Don't Bother Normal Thinkers At All
Choose your words carefully.
Irina Bg | Shutterstock Emotional fragility and sensitivity aren't inherently bad traits; in fact, they often encourage people to be more empathetic, compassionate, and socially aware in their relationships and interactions, according to clinical psychologist Jennifer L Keluskar. However, their sensitivity in the face of stress, anxiety, and emotionally taxing situations makes it difficult for them to be positively perceived by others and form deep connections outside the context of their emotional responses.
For peers in relationships and social situations with these highly sensitive people, it's important to recognize some of the phrases that offend emotionally fragile people but don't bother normal thinkers at all. By choosing the right words and phrases, especially in high-stress and emotional conversations, you can be supportive for sensitive people as they grapple with their emotions, rather than dismissive or invalidating.
Here are 11 phrases that offend emotionally fragile people but don't bother normal thinkers at all
1. 'You're wrong'
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A study from PLOS One suggests that many emotionally fragile people, who have experienced a lot of judgment, trauma, or toxicity in their lives, are often more sensitive to criticism and negative feedback than others.
Considering they've been forced to deal with more criticism in their lives, adopting a more anxious and fear-driven approach to entering into these conversations, they're more offended when people give them negative feedback or critiques, even if they're constructive and well-intended.
For emotionally fragile people, it takes a lot to unlearn this fear of judgment and criticism, but it's possible with the right emotional regulation techniques. For someone talking to a more fragile person, it's important to choose the right words and focus on a mutual collaboration towards a goal, rather than judgment or a simple phrase like "you're wrong" with no context.
2. 'Let me give you some feedback'
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Many people who constantly deal with emotional fragility, encouraging them to adopt low self-esteem and self-worth, are incredibly sensitive in the face of feedback, even when it's constructive. According to clinical psychologist Nick Wignall, it's hard to fight back against negative feedback or contextualize constructive criticism when you don't believe in your own ability to emotionally regulate yourself or even succeed.
So, rather than accept opportunities for growth, setting their fear of rejection and judgment aside, emotionally fragile people get defensive in the face of phrases like this. They'd prefer to avoid vulnerability, conflict, or feedback, if it means they don't have to react emotionally or come to terms with their automatically intense emotional responses.
3. 'You're being so dramatic'
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Experts like clinical psychologist Hal Shorey explain that dismissive phrases like "you're so sensitive" or "you're dramatic" can be more offensive for emotionally fragile people who have consistently had their needs go unmet or have experienced more trauma and emotional turmoil than the average person.
Even passing casual phrases like this or a briefly offensive interaction can spark emotional responses in fragile thinkers, encouraging their lingering resentment, suppressed emotions, or frustration flood to the surface.
Like many of the other phrases that offend emotionally fragile people but don't bother normal thinkers at all, the responses that these people try to steer clear of — forced vulnerability, overstimulation, fears of rejection, or sheer anxiety — are unfortunately sparked by these unnecessary conversational tendencies.
4. 'You always take things so personally'
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The best way to offend an emotionally fragile person is to suggest that their emotions or responses are invalid. In fact, even normal thinkers occasionally find themselves grappling with self-doubt at the hands of a manipulator using very similar language.
Truly supporting other people means sitting with their complex emotions, not condemning and dismissing them. Everyone wants to feel heard — whether they're expressing intense emotions or talking about their days — according to a PLOS One study, so it's important to shy away from phrases like this that invalidate people's vulnerability.
5. 'It's not a big deal'
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When someone uses a phrase like "it's not a big deal" to soothe an emotionally fragile person, it's not supportive — it's dismissive of the experience they're having, suggesting that their emotional response is somehow invalid.
While emotional invalidation from phrases like this one can be unintentional, according to therapist Jennifer Litner, PhD, it can still exacerbate the mental health struggles, feelings of loneliness and isolation, and disconnect emotionally fragile people already experienced in their lives.
While normal thinkers criticize their emotional responses and invalidate their feelings that are ingrained in their reality and identity, these fragile people are forced to grapple with disillusionment, self-doubt, and anxiety over being rejected simply for responding in the way that's most secure and comfortable for them.
6. 'Just push through it'
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While phrases like "just push through" or "it'll be worth it" are often intended to be supportive and motivational, they can feed into a cycle of "toxic positivity" that's dismissive and invalidating for emotionally fragile people who rely on rest and frequent breaks to regulate their emotions and cope with anxiety over stressful social interactions.
In any case, open and honest communication can help to mend relationships and connections between a "normal thinker" and their emotionally sensitive counterpart, ensuring everyone feels heard and supportive in the way that makes the most sense for them.
Just like any other person or relationship, getting the support and love you need starts with being able to recognize and verbalize what you need. It's a difficult habit to get comfortable with, but it's the key to fostering healthier connections, whether you're emotionally fragile and sensitive or not.
7. 'They don't deserve your energy'
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Many emotionally fragile and hyper-sensitive people tend to be overly empathetic toward others, sometimes at the expense of their own emotions and feelings, so it's not surprising that this is one of the phrases that hits home for them.
While they may be cognizant of the way that their overly empathetic and people-pleasing behaviors sabotage their own sense of security and safety, having someone pointing it out can be invalidating.
By absorbing other people's energy and helping others, they can cope with their own low self-esteem or internal emotional turmoil, but when someone criticizes this behavior, it can work in opposing and harmful ways.
8. 'There's no other choice'
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Overstimulating social situations, where fragile and sensitive people are dealing with a lot of sensory input, can make it difficult to hyperfocus on a project or interaction for too long, especially without an option to excuse themselves or regulate their emotions.
In fact, according to Charlie Health, "Some research shows that people with certain sensory processing issues (including overstimulation) have quantifiable differences in their brain structure, which may contribute to their difficulties." This can include early childhood trauma or acute stress disorder.
Phrases like this, which might be motivating or helpful for "normal thinkers," can be overwhelming for emotionally fragile people, offensive in the face of their overstimulation. If emotionally fragile people feel confined to an unhealthy situation or restricted to enduring overly emotional and stressful interactions, they're more likely to have an outburst or sacrifice their own well-being to converse with others.
9. 'This isn't about you'
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One of the phrases that offend emotionally fragile people but don't bother normal thinkers at all is "this isn't about you." Many emotionally fragile people expect other people to be as sensitive, aware, and appreciative of their emotions and responses as they are toward others. Part of their emotional regulation and honesty means expressing when they feel offended or invalidated by others, but a response with a phrase like this is only further isolating.
It can be disillusioning to have people constantly telling you that you're overreacting or "making something about you" by simply responding in the way that works best for you to stress, overwhelm, or anxiety.
Not only does it encourage low self-esteem and self-doubt in unsuspecting moments, it encourages emotionally fragile people to suppress and avoid their emotions to appease other people's comfort and avoid further critique and criticism.
10. 'You make things more difficult than they need to be'
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Suggesting that an emotionally fragile person, who copes with stress by expressing themselves and surges into vulnerability with others without reservation, is overreacting or making things "difficult" by simply being themselves is invalidating and offensive in a big way.
While there's certainly situations or conversations where being overly emotional isn't the best way to communicate or solve a problem, attacking a person for simply being emotional can be an overly isolating experience to cope with.
According to trial attorney Jefferson Fisher, there are better ways to handle an emotionally immature person who may be a little too in their feelings, none of which involve attacking them. Fisher revealed that the first step to take is not trying to regulate another person's emotions, followed by not wasting your energy trying to get them to self-reflect, and finally, empathizing but not enabling them..
11. 'You don't need another break, just do it'
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According to PsychCentral's Scientific Advisory Board, hyper-sensitive and emotionally fragile people tend to absorb more sensory information and cognitive input than their "normal thinking" peers, making conversations, high-stress situations, and emotional conflicts more intense.
They not only need more space to regulate and reflect on their responses, they need frequent breaks from emotionally taxing situations, making phrases like this actively dismissive and invalidating.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.