5 Phrases That Hold You Back From Succeeding In Life, According To Neuroscience
What you say impacts how you think.
CarlosBarquero | Shutterstock Of course, your voice is important, and what you say matters to those around you, but how do your words affect you? You might think otherwise, but that little voice inside your head has more sway over your life than you realize.
Holistic nutrition coach Lauren said that everyone should be more mindful of their words, and she backs her claims up with science. She said our brains recognize how we interact with ourselves, and that influences our actions and reality.
Here are 5 phrases you need to stop saying because they are holding you back from succeeding in life:
Lauren highlighted that the reticular activating system (RAS) in our brains recognizes patterns, such as when you hear a name and then start hearing it everywhere. In the same vein as manifestation, when you put something out into the world, it's reflected back to you in the patterns your brain recognizes.
With that in mind, she sent out the PSA that it's important to be intentional with our words, meaning speaking more positively will ultimately have a positive effect.
1. 'I am so stupid.'
It's so easy to say this to ourselves after making a mistake that could've easily been avoided. But each time we tell ourselves that we're stupid, we're solidifying the mindset that each time we mess up we're incapable of learning from our mistakes.
You just made a mistake; it's not that big a deal. Instead, experts agree the solution is to attack self-critical thoughts before they can fester and take root. "I'm feeling pretty bad about my abilities right now, and that hurts." When you think negative thoughts through the lens of being kind to yourself, it allows you some distance from the incident and avoids the circle of negativity.
2. 'I look ugly.'
Yes, there will be days that maybe you don't love the way you look, but when you tell yourself you feel ugly, your brain will search for evidence of this claim you've created in your head. You'll start scrutinizing your appearance over things most people probably won't even notice.
Instead of calling yourself ugly, ask yourself, “I don’t feel my best. What could help me feel better in my skin right now?” Once you know what it is, do your best to treat yourself. Perhaps it's as simple as a bubble bath or taking some extra time to wash and style your hair.
3. 'I am not good at this.'
Saying you're not good at something, although we may not want to admit it, is a copout to avoid learning new things. No one is automatically good at anything, and learning a new skill is going to take time, practice, and patience. You may not be absolutely perfect at something you're trying to do, but each time you pick yourself up, you're improving, and that's enough.
You don't inherently have to be 'good' at something; you just need to focus on progress. "Can I get better at this than the last time I was doing it? What part of this is making it difficult for me? How can I help myself keep going?" These are the questions we need to be asking ourselves so that we can improve ourselves and not be held back by our thoughts.
4. 'I am too old for this.'
Since when is there an age limit for joy? If doing something will make you happy, you should go for it, not reduce yourself to the number of years you've been on earth.
Telling yourself you're too old for something will likely make you feel like you're old in general and hold you back from experiencing so many wonderful things.
5. 'I have to do this.'
Instead of telling yourself that you have to do something, tell yourself that you get to do it. Often, we find ourselves upset over necessary tasks we have to perform — dishes, laundry, homework — but it's important to practice gratitude. You get to enjoy the fruits of your labor, such as doing your dishes after eating a homecooked meal and folding clothes that you can relax and be comfortable in.
When you switch your mindset to tell yourself the benefits of an action, you're acknowledging the privilege you have to be in the position you are in and also that you deserve the benefits of the action you're completing. You deserve to have a clean space, you deserve to have clean sheets to sleep in. Shifting your mindset from having to do something to enjoying the benefit of an action can help propel us forward.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.