11 Phrases Highly Respected People Never Say In Conversations
Respected people treat others fairly, rather than dismissing their feelings.
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock Whether it's in a relationship or in the workplace, people aim to be highly respected by their loved ones and acquaintances alike. After all, not only does earning this respect lead to better recognition, it creates better opportunities and closer connections. Of course, getting to this point isn't easy.
Highly respected people have to maintain a certain level of control over their words and actions to be viewed as admirable. And that means acknowledging and avoiding the phrases highly respected people never say in conversations, as they are sure to change people's perceptions.
Here are the 11 phrases highly respected people never say in conversations
1. 'That's not my problem'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
One of the most jarring phrases highly respected people never say in conversations is "that's not my problem." They will never turn someone else away, especially in times of need. Not only is this cruel and unhelpful, it also leads people to disrespect them, deeming them unreliable and straight-up rude.
Though there are times when highly respected people can't help those around them, whether it's because they're already busy or are burned out, instead of rejecting others and refusing to understand them, these people connect with others while setting boundaries. And according to a 2022 study, setting boundaries, especially in the workplace, is less likely to lead to burnout.
The next time someone finds themselves stuck in this predicament, they can listen to the other person and redirect them. If a co-worker asks for help, they can say, "Hey, I understand you need help and I'd love to assist you, but I'm a bit busy right now."
Reframing things that way instead of saying "that's not my problem" allows others to understand the boundaries while simultaneously feeling respected and heard, leading to a favorable impression.
2. 'I don't have time for this'
Bobex-73 | Shutterstock
Even highly respected people get tired of nonsense and may reach the end of their rope. From work drama to family stress, there will always be a time where these people need to draw the line. However, a phrase highly respected people never say in conversations is "I don't have time for this."
They choose their words carefully, as it can tarnish the way others see them. By refraining from this phrase, they are ensuring the other person feels heard and not alone, as one study from Annals of Behavioral Medicine determined that people who are isolated have a higher risk of mortality.
As an alternative, highly respected people can say something like, "I would love to hear what you have to say, but I'm swamped at the moment. Is it okay if we save this for another time?" Though this might seem obvious, listing a specific time shows that a highly respected person truly wants to hear what someone has to say, making them feel more secure.
3. 'You should have known better'
fizkes | Shutterstock
It's inevitable to make mistakes in life. From small errors at work to forgetting important dates in a relationship, it's how people learn from them that either make or break their growth. Highly respected people don't say phrases like this, as they approach situations with logic rather than judgment.
When tensions rise and people feel unheard, it's normal for them to react in illogical ways. But respected people don't berate others; instead, they approach the situation with a level head. They know others come to them for help because they trust their judgment and are looking for guidance.
So, it can be damaging to ignore them when they're vulnerable. Not only does this make them respect that person less, but it can lead them to them not feeling valued. One study published in PLOS One found that feeling heard is important as it leads to a boost in overall well-being, self-esteem, and relationships.
As a result, people should learn to keep their opinions or side remarks to themselves. As tempting as it may be to scold someone, it doesn't help the situation at all.
4. 'I told you so'
fizkes | Shutterstock
When a friend or family member doesn't do what you told them to, and it ends up backfiring, it's natural to want to rub their faces in it. But for highly respected people, they don't gloat about their loved one's bad decisions; instead, they avoid using any kind of phrasing that is immature and will ruin the relationship.
People want to feel supported whenever they're going through difficult times, and that need for support and community is deeply wired in humans. One study from Nature Mental Health found that "Individuals reporting higher levels of social support were at substantially reduced risk of elevated depressive symptoms."
Despite not scolding another person for not listening, respected people will still be honest about how they're feeling. They aren't afraid to pull their loved one to the side and say, "I understand you're going through it and I'm here to support you, but it was really hurtful when you ignored my concern."
Though it might be uncomfortable to say, it's the only way for people to support others while staying true to how they feel, allowing healing and respect to remain strong in the relationship.
5. 'Well, this is how we've always done things'
Pheelings media | Shutterstock
Most people don't like change and would prefer things to stay the same, including the way they tackle situations or problems. From family traditions to morning routines, most can admit to hating change as it directly goes against their human nature.
According to Susan Levin, an expert in conflict resolution and negotiation, the human brain is wired to be resistant to change.
"Habits are built through repetition. It takes 40 to 50 repetitions on average to establish a new habit. That builds up the neural pathways so the neurons get thicker," she explained. "When a change is initiated, those habitual patterns are likely to be interrupted, which can lead to discomfort and ultimately resistance. Therefore, it takes intentional will and repetition to change entrenched patterns of behavior."
So, while it takes intentionality to change a behavior, highly respected people keep an open mind. They want to know others' perspectives, are curious about their opinions, and encourage change. Just because things have always been done one way, doesn't mean a change will be negative.
6. 'You wouldn't understand'
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
"You wouldn't understand" is one of the phrases highly respected people never say in conversations, as they are privy to the emotions of others. Some people may feel like others don't understand what they're going through, feeling lost and alone, and intentionally isolating as a result. And according to one study from General Psychiatry, isolation is a predictor of mental health problems and increased mortality.
Because highly respected people empathize with others, people are increasingly likely to depend on them and help them find ways to reconnect. They understand that even if others can't understand them, at the very least, they can comfort and try to connect with them.
7. 'I don't need to explain myself to you'
fizkes | Shutterstock
If people truly want to earn respect, the first is to treat others fairly. Though this might sound obvious, some people instinctively shut themselves off as the conversations become tense. Feeling disrespected, they might snap and say they don't need to explain themselves, but this lack of control can escalate things.
When conversations turn hostile, people become more prone to risk-taking. According to a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, anger meditated the link between loss of control and risk-taking behavior. With this in mind, a highly respected person carefully observes the situation and weighs if it's worth continuing or not.
Most likely, they will call for a break and approach the conversation when everyone is thinking clearly. Though frustrating, it's what makes these people so respected. They understand that people who want to be right may not go about the situation correctly. Instead, they give people the benefit of the doubt and hope that some time to think will calm everything down.
8. 'No offense, but…'
fizkes | Shutterstock
It can be tricky to navigate a conversation with someone who's being difficult or making questionable choices. But saying "no offense, but..." is one of the phrases highly respected people never say in conversations, as they know it's a fake way to deliver hurtful comments.
Everyone knows that simply saying "no offense" doesn't make it less offensive. Arguably, saying "no offense" makes everything worse, leaving people feeling confused and offended. For respected people, they may opt to say something like, "to be completely honest with you..." before expressing themselves in a polite way.
People are good at handling honesty, as long as it comes from a place of sincerity. They much prefer blunt honesty over sugarcoated politeness.
9. 'You're way too sensitive'
Dikushin Dmitry | Shutterstock
Navigating intense moments and conversations can become difficult as people's emotions unfold. Loved ones who are upset and feel unheard may become emotional if others aren't able to steer the conversation in a better direction. Highly respected people understand this, and will never call another person "too sensitive."
According to Psychology Today writer Sophia Dembling's own experience, "I've long believed that 'you're too sensitive' is what people say when they've said or done something unkind and want you to believe that they haven't. I've considered it a form of gaslighting. Still, when you hear something often enough, you eventually consider the possibility that it might be true."
But truthfully, someone honestly expressing their emotions doesn't make them overly sensitive. Their sincerity just shows how connected they are with themselves. Unfortunately, many people have been taught that emotional vulnerability is shameful, leading to the common misconception that emotions like sadness or anger are somehow negative.
10. 'Because I said so'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Growing up, parents may have told their children to behave a certain way, with "because I said so" being the sole reason. But for highly respected people, this is a phrase they will never say in a conversation because of how invalidating it is.
This phrase is often used by people in positions of authority, feeling like their power is being questioned. Whether it's parents, teachers, or bosses, this undermines people's voices and shuts down their opinions, making them feel less than. It's also incredibly disrespectful and belittling, as someone on the receiving end may feel like a child getting scolded.
Rather than misusing their authority this way, respected people opt for other phrases to get the point across without being condescending. They may simply state what they want — "Please have this to me by the end of day" — or ask the other person their views — "What do you think about doing things this way instead? Maybe we can work together to find a solution."
11. 'That's not my job'
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
Whether it's in the workplace or at home, one of the major phrases highly respected people never say in conversations is "That's not my job." It may pertain to taking on an extra project or being asked to handle a task, but either way, responding this way accomplishes nothing and makes the situation worse.
For the workplace, things can get ugly when people don't stand up for themselves. They're most likely saddled with more responsibility than they can handle, but accept it without speaking up. Still, it's not the fault of a boss or co-worker asking for advice or an extra set of hands; rather, it's their fault for not asserting themselves.
Instead of using this annoying and dismissive phrase, highly respected people will first figure out their boundaries and then act accordingly.
When someone is in a predicament and comes to them for help, a highly respected person might say, "I don't typically do this, but I'm willing to help just this one time. However, in the future, I'll refrain from doing this since it technically isn't in my job description." They may also reject their request, saying, "I'm sorry, I can't help you with this right now, but perhaps you can try..."
Offering a solution or a resource will land better, and won't affect the respect people have for someone. After all, positive responses like this make sure people don't feel dismissed.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.