11 Phrases Brilliant Women Say When They Learn To Choose Peace Over Chaos
When women finally understand their worth, there's nothing they can't do.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Many women spend the first half of their lives pushing their own needs aside. They focus all their mental and emotional energy on meeting the needs of everyone around them. They ignore their quiet inner voice, the one that wonders what they really want and who they would be if they put themselves first.
As they get older, women grow wiser. They stop shrinking themselves down to please other people. They find their footing, honor their truth, and claim their own lives. The phrases brilliant women say when they learn to choose peace over chaos reveal how self-aware they've become. Because when women finally decide they're done settling, there's no limit to how far they can go.
Here are 11 phrases brilliant women say when they learn to choose peace over chaos
1. 'I don't have to prove myself'
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Brilliant women who choose peace over chaos know they don't have to prove their worth to anyone else but themselves. They stop aiming for a level of perfection they won't ever reach, and start loving themselves, exactly as they are now.
They release the need for external validation to stand firmly on the foundation they're building, all on their own. By saying "I don't have to prove myself," brilliant women learn to let go of other people's definitions for who they are.
"Don't let others define you, because they will," certified coach Lorna Poole advised. "It's up to you to decide who you are, what you want from life, and what you are going to do to get it. It's in these choices that we get to reach our full potential. At any given moment, you can decide who you are, where you're going, and how you are going to get there."
By prioritizing their peace, women learn to live by their own rules, which is the ultimate act of liberation.
2. 'I won't compromise who I am'
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Even the most intelligent women betray themselves by compromising who they are for other people. But by saying they won't compromise, using one of the phrases brilliant women say when they learn to choose peace over chaos, it leads them closer to their most authentic selves, and developing self-trust is a crucial part of that process.
Life and relationship coach Jordan Gray defined self-trust as "a deep reliance on one's own ability to handle life." He revealed, "You build self-trust just like you build trust in any relationship. You regularly communicate with yourself, lean into solving your own problems, and take good care of yourself."
"You erode self-trust when you regularly practice self-abandonment [by] making life choices that are in direct opposition to your personal values," Gray explained. The more women compromise, the less they're able to trust their own judgment. Once women realize they don't have to apologize for who they are, they can fully inhabit their peace.
3. 'I don't owe anyone a response'
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Women don't owe time or urgency to anyone. They've learned that protecting themselves is more important than providing other people with an immediate response. They have no problem sitting with unanswered texts or emails, because they respect the boundaries they've set for themselves.
According to licensed psychotherapist and social worker Randi Owsley, co-host of The Women's Mental Health podcast, "Personal boundaries are our heart's way of demarcating where we end, and others begin." She further explained, "They're the invisible barriers that safeguard our self-respect, emotional energy, and overall well-being."
Many women struggle to maintain emotional boundaries because they've internalized the message that meeting their needs first makes them selfish. After all, women should be generous. They should tend to everyone else's emotions, even when they're totally tapped out. But women who choose peace over chaos understand that setting boundaries is an act of self-care.
"Caring for ourselves isn't a betrayal of those we love," Owsley revealed. "It's a commitment to our own growth and happiness."
4. 'I decide where I put my energy'
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Learning to choose peace over chaos puts brilliant women in the driver's seat of their own lives. They decide where they put their energy. They listen to their limitations and they don't overextend themselves for the sake of other people. As much as they value the relationships they have, they don't feel any need to give away their time and energy for free.
From the outside looking in, turning people down seems harsh, but really, it's "a testament to the strength and resilience within each of us," Owsley explained. "Saying 'no' isn't about rejection but about affirming our worth and safeguarding our peace."
5. 'I choose myself'
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"I choose myself" is one of the phrases brilliant women say when they learn to choose peace over chaos, and they do so from a place of true confidence. They've made the decision to put themselves at the center of their own life, and they have no regrets about it. They've done enough heavy emotional lifting for other people, and now, they're committing to who they really want to be.
"Confidence is knowing that you are worthy of whatever it is you're striving to have in your life," speaker and life coach Mary Morrissey explained. "For most of us, [confidence] is a practice that we need to cultivate."
"We all have ideas of unworthiness growing in the gardens of our minds," she revealed. "Our subconscious is the constant critic that undermines our efforts to be more authentic." When a woman is truly confident, she releases outside chaos and chooses her own inner peace.
6. 'I can love someone and walk away'
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Making the decision to choose peace is a transformative moment in a woman's life. Oftentimes, this decision that arrives after she's given herself away to someone who doesn't actually deserve her. She's pushed herself past her limits, which taught her the painful yet valuable lesson that love, alone, can't create a stable relationship.
It's easier to stay stuck in an unhealthy attachment style than it is to change. When a woman realizes that she can love someone and walk away, she's showing up for herself in the best way possible.
7. 'I won't waste my time fixing other people'
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By accepting the fact that they can't force other people to change, no matter how much they want them to, "I won't waste my time fixing other people" is one of the incredible phrases brilliant women say when they learn to choose peace over chaos.
Self-improvement is an individual journey. True growth can only come from within. When brilliant women say that they won't waste their time fixing other people, they mean it. They know that they can't fix anyone who won't do the necessary work to fix themselves first.
By prioritizing their peace, these women release the expectation that they can solve other people's problems.
8. 'I refuse to lose sight of what I want'
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Women who choose peace over chaos are true to themselves. They stay grounded in their authenticity, over everything else. As psychologist Dr. Cortney Warren explained, being authentic means "you aspire to be consistently yourself at all times and in all situations — including when you're alone, around others, and in social environments." She acknowledged that being fully authentic isn't easy, but like a muscle, you get stronger with practice.
"Over the course of your life, you'll likely encounter innumerable situations that challenge you to look in the mirror," Dr. Warren revealed. "These situations lead you to ask: Who am I? Why am I reacting this way? Is this who I want to be or how I want to live?"
"Although many of these situations are difficult, they also offer you a profound gift — the ability to become more authentic," she concluded.
9. 'I choose peace over being right'
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Intellectual women openly embrace peace over chaos and the need to be right. They care more about staying calm than proving a point. They know that living in their truth is more important than winning an argument, so they don't force their perspective onto other people.
Instead, they approach conflict with an open mind and an open heart. They've come to realize there's no glory in being combative. They actively dismiss chaos for a peaceful life.
10. 'I don't react, I reflect'
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When they are aware of how they respond in conflict, "I don't react, I reflect" is one of the phrases brilliant women say when they learn to choose peace over chaos. These women channel their emotional intelligence toward self-reflection, and not impulsive overreaction. They know that choosing peace means taking responsibility for themselves, even when their actions aren't in alignment with who they want to be.
"It's easy to react a certain way and not take accountability for it," certified coach Gretchen Hydo explained. "When we are emotionally reactive, we enter a state of fight or flight as a result of our stress triggers. We overreact and refuse to accept responsibility for our actions and emotions."
"In order to find inner peace, it's essential to be self-aware," she concluded. "Make sure that what you do reflects the ripple effect you want to create."
11. 'I know my worth'
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When women realize how much they deserve, they learn to choose their own peace and stop chasing turmoil and confusion. They recognize their value and affirm their own self-worth. As self-development coach Brenda Della Casa revealed, "the pursuit of self-worth can sometimes feel daunting," but it always pays off in the end.
Brilliant women who know their own worth also understand that "there is nothing more satisfying than living a harmonious life with plenty of space for clear thinking," Della Casa explained.
"Instead of allowing daily dramas to throw them into a tailspin or engaging in situations that leave them feeling drained, they disengage and use their values as a compass," which allows them to protect their peace, even in moments of chaos.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.