11 Phrases Brilliant People Use To Start A Conversation With Literally Anyone
What to say when you don't know what to say.
Mix and Match Studio / Shutterstock Whether at a grocery store or in the middle of a work event, we've all been in situation where we needed or wanted to talk to someone but didn't know where to start. Striking up a conversation with a random stranger isn't always easy, but brilliant people know there are phrases they can use to start a conversation with literally anyone.
Research published in 2023 found that loneliness is a major problem in the US and is only becoming increasingly widespread. If you feel lonely, or if you want to help others who do, brushing up on on your conversational skills is a great way to take a proactive first step.
11 phrases brilliant people use to start a conversation with literally anyone
1. You look really nice today, did you do something different?'
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Let's be real for a moment: everyone loves a good compliment. When someone just got their hair done or a fresh set of acrylic nails, it feels nice for others to take notice and react positively.
Knowing this, a phrase brilliant people use to start a conversation with literally anyone is, "You look really nice today, did you do something different?"
A 2020 study revealed that compliments make people feel better about themselves, pleased, and more flattered. Furthermore, the same study revealed that most people underestimate just how much compliments impact others.
That said, be sure that the compliment given is sincere. Most people can tell when others truly mean what they say or when they're simply playing nice to keep peace.
2. 'How is so and so doing?'
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When someone is at a family gathering or a work party, it can feel intimidating to strike up a conversation. Their mind runs wild with thoughts and ideas of what to say to make the situation less awkward or uncomfortable.
During these moments, it's easy to let their emotions get the better of them and unconsciously shut down mid-conversation. Yet, there's one go-to phrase brilliant people use to start a conversation with literally anyone that would be best in situations like these. By saying, "How is so and so doing," someone effectively opens up the conversation and relieves some of the pressure of having to talk about themselves.
Furthermore, this helps people bond, as having mutual friends makes it increasingly easier to connect with others. Known as the triadic closure effect, two people who have mutual friends are increasingly likely to become friends themselves, according to Cornell University.
This showcases just how important connection and reliability are when striking up a conversation.
3. 'What do you think about this?'
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Everyone has an opinion about everything. Whether it's celebrity gossip, clothing choices, or picking the better option in Bridgerton, people allow their opinions to guide them.
People also love expressing their opinions to others, which falls under the category of wanting to be heard. According to a study published in 2023, feeling heard is the cornerstone to any relationship and can lead to an increase in self-esteem and overall well-being.
So, the next time someone is out shopping don't feel shy about asking a random stranger or friend, "What do you think about this?" Most of the time people will be eager to express just how they feel without any coaxing on the other person's part.
4. 'Hey, I noticed you and I both like [insert thing you both like here]'
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Finding ways to be relevant is the most foolproof way to start a conversation with literally anyone. According to a study in 2016, liking people who are similar to us is quite literally hard-wired in people's brains.
That said, knowing how to relate to others can get a bit tricky. After all, how do people find stuff to relate to on a random Tuesday while shopping at a grocery store with complete strangers?
However, it doesn't need to be all that complicated! Simply looking at what they're wearing or what they have in their cart can be the perfect opportunity to find common ground.
And don't be shy about it! Though it might be intimidating to strike up a conversation, that doesn't mean the other people will think poorly of you. Most likely, they'll respond better than anticipated and eagerly gush about their favorite band or why a certain makeup brand is better than another.
5. 'I'm looking for somewhere to eat do you have any suggestions?'
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Brilliant people know they can start a conversation with anyone by asking about their favorite local spot. Believe it or not, most people love to make suggestions and discuss their favorite go-to spot. After all, people in general adore talking about themselves and their own self-interests.
That said, approaching this person and striking up a random conversation might feel intimidating for those who are a teeny bit shy. Luckily, it doesn’t need to be that complicated! Simply tapping someone on the shoulder and speaking in a friendly voice will cause most people to lower their guard.
However, if someone truly wants to ensure that the other person doesn’t feel put off, then following the sentence up with a smile is the way to go. Most people view smiles as friendly and comforting, which in turn, encourages them to lower their defenses.
6. 'Wow, you are really good at this'
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On the surface, this might sound a bit insincere. After all, saying, "Wow, you are really good at this," can come off that way if people aren't careful with their tone. However, if someone truly wants to start a conversation with literally anyone, then tone does matter.
Most people will feel at ease if they hear someone utter this phrase with an excited or amazed tone. Furthermore, other people acknowledging their talent or hard work will easily make these same people feel flustered and flattered. A 2022 study found that praising children, for instance, leads to a boost in their self-esteem and competence.
So, the next time someone notices a person who is displaying their talents unconsciously, don't feel scared to comment on it. Most people will take it the right way and feel awesome about it.
7. 'Did you hear about what happened recently?'
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A simple, "Did you hear about what happened recently," can quickly open up to any person. Of course, discussing these current events can be a slippery slope and should be taken with caution. After all, talking about things like politics might not do so well with most individuals, especially if it's different from their own opinion. That said, this doesn't mean that all topics are off the table.
Discussing the recent drone sightings or celebrity gossip isn’t something to shy away from, and discussing random good news stories like a kitten being saved can bring humor and joy into an otherwise bland conversation.
Just like anything in life, there’s a need for balance. Steer clear of any controversial topics and strictly focus on safer ones. This is the best and safest way to start a conversation with literally anyone.
8. 'The weather has been crazy lately, right?'
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Striking up a conversation about your surroundings might sound a bit boring or even cliche. After all, what will pointing out the weather truly do in the grand scheme of things?
But most people underestimate the importance of simplicity. After all, most conversations with friends or lovers usually start off with a simple conversation.
The next time someone is waiting in line try observing the weather. If it's a beautiful day don't be afraid to comment on that. This small sentence can quickly turn into a full-fledged conversation as you begin discussing your interests or what you both like to do in your spare time.
9. 'The funniest thing just happened'
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Another brilliant phrase people use to start a conversation with literally anyone is, "The funniest thing just happened." It should go without saying that most people love a good joke.
Research shows that people who joke are increasingly likely to be perceived as more socially attractive and warm.
That said, landing the joke right is also as equally as important. If someone tries to tell a joke but it's inappropriate or slightly offensive most people, especially strangers, might not take it too kindly.
Now sure, they may laugh but if they're giving a fake smile and looking the other way for help then it's safe to say the joke didn't land as good as someone intended. As a result, it's best to stick with harmless or even cheesy jokes.
Will it make people roll their eyes in disbelief? Absolutely. But even a corny joke can make the most serious person smile brightly.
10. "What's the most interesting thing you have planned today?"
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This phrase is a bit more intense and some people might not feel comfortable uttering it for fear of coming off as creepy or intrusive. However, saying this phrase isn't as bizarre as people might think. A study published in 2021 found that most people love deep questions, including strangers. Additionally, researchers found that the conversations were less awkward and increased feelings of closeness.
That said, people should be sure to keep their tone friendly and more high-pitched. Saying this in a deep or monotone voice might throw people off and deem someone as creepy. But if someone says this with a friendly smile and a pleasant voice, they'll find that most people will be receptive and welcoming to it.
Additionally, individuals should try adding their own interesting plans for the day into the conversation. That way, it comes off as less stalker-ish and more engaging.
11. "How was your day?"
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Finally, when all else fails, a phrase brilliant people use to start a conversation with literally anyone is, "How was your day?" After all, it's the go-to phrase that is guaranteed to engage others in a full-fledged conversation.
Psychiatrist Samantha Boardman M.D. said that talking about oneself lights up the same parts of people's brains as food and pleasure do. As she explains, "Simply put, self-disclosure is gratifying."
So, don't be shy about asking friends to strangers how their day was. Not only will it most likely put a smile on their face but it will allow others to express their feelings more easily as they feel more encouraged to do so.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help topics such as relationships, career, family, and astrology.