10 Phrases Brilliant People Use To Politely Say 'Your Drama Is Exhausting'
The best way to shut down drama is by choosing your words very carefully.
VesnaArt | Shutterstock Whether it's a family member, friend, co-worker, or acquaintance, everyone has had an awkward or tense conversation that's also highly dramatic. Conversations like these are difficult to avoid, but it's essential to shut them down to maintain your mental health and foster a more positive environment. And sometimes, telling people the truth is the only way to do so.
It might be intimidating, but true connections can't form unless there's respect and mutual understanding. And when it becomes too much, there are certain phrases brilliant people use to politely say "your drama is exhausting." Socially aware and are knowledgable in what they should and shouldn't say to others, brilliant people have an easier time navigating difficult conversations.
Here are 10 phrases brilliant people use to politely say 'your drama is exhausting'
1. 'I think we should focus on something else'
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With toxic people, it's easy for them to get into other people's heads and manipulate a situation in their favor. Through exaggerating, twisting the truth, and not telling the full story, most people will instantly feel bad for them without understanding the role they played in the situation.
To avoid getting caught in the crossfire, it's better to redirect the situation by using one of the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "your drama is exhausting."
Not only is drama annoying and stressful in most cases, according to a study published in EXCLI Journal, stress has been shown to decrease brain mass and cause structural changes in different parts of the brain.
It's better to protect your mental health by simply shutting down conversations that have dragged on for too long. It might hurt the other person's feelings, but switching the focus can deescalate the situation and make the conversation more lighthearted.
2. 'I need time to process everything you just shared'
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Someone might expect others to respond right away, but that doesn't always happen, especially when the drama is exhausting, and absorbing other people's trauma or complaints is even more tiring. According to psychotherapist Antonieta Contreras, people who love to start drama tend to seek out "peacemakers" who tend to have poor boundaries.
"Because the peace-loving individual will apologize first — often just to quell the tension — the drama-maker sees their victimhood validated. In turn, this reinforces the dramatic cycle, giving the aggressor exactly the attention and power they crave while leaving the conflict-avoidant person feeling increasingly responsible for everyone else's emotional equilibrium," Contreras revealed.
When someone finds themselves in a perplexing situation, whether it's people piling on childhood trauma or casually dropping a bombshell, they need extra time to recover. And using the phrase "I need time to process everything you just shared" is a good way to let the other person know.
3. 'For now, let's take a step back from this conversation'
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When a dramatic conversation becomes overwhelming, a brilliant person will ask to take a step back so they can evaluate their next course of action. Though most people can understand this basic need, voicing it is a lot harder.
Nobody wants to be the person who rudely cuts someone off or is deemed selfish because of their inability to handle tough conversations. But asking for a short break is a great way to set firm boundaries with an overly dramatic person.
Wanting to take a step back isn't avoiding accountability or avoiding a tough situation; rather, it's a great way to ease tensions to have a more productive conversation.
According to Katie Shonk, a negotiation and dispute resolution writer, taking repeated breaks improves the odds of resolving conflict later down the road.
4. 'This is a bit much for me to take in right now'
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Everyone has a loved one or acquaintance that overshares. Maybe they wear their heart on their sleeve and aren't afraid to discuss their crumbling relationships or family drama. On the outside, they may consider it a bonding moment, but trauma dumping is a good way to push someone away.
In cases like this, one of the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "your drama is exhausting" is verbally expressing that they feel overwhelmed by the topic of conversation. While cutting the other person off can be a bit offensive, there's a polite way to voice concerns.
Depending on the conversation, it can be a vulnerable moment to handle with care. Trying to politely end the conversation may mean saying something like, "I truly want to hear what you have to say, but this is a bit much for me to take in at the moment."
5. 'Let's take a quick breather'
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When tensions are high in a conversation, taking a break by separating isn't enough. Depending on how huge the drama is, a brilliant person may suggest taking a breather together. Maybe that means doing deep breathing, going on a walk, meditating, or eating a snack. No matter what it is, a quick break can deescalate the situation and calm both parties.
According to experts from NSW Health, when someone is angry in a situation, it's possible to deescalate the tension by remaining calm, maintaining eye contact, and expressing empathy.
Politely suggesting different ways to unwind can be the difference between continuing a toxic conversation or a constructive one. But the only way to get there is by keeping the conversation on track. It might be intimidating, but suggesting a bit of relaxation can only benefit both people.
6. 'I don't think I'm the best person to have this conversation with'
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There comes a point where what someone is saying begins to cross boundaries and makes those around them uncomfortable. Unfortunately, many people are people-pleasers and won't speak up for themselves. In fact, according to a survey from YouGov, 48% of Americans identify as people-pleasers.
Despite this, if someone truly wants to protect their well-being, speaking up for themselves is the first step to take to set boundaries. As difficult as it may be, practicing in the mirror and then building up the courage to say it in person or even through text message can protect their energy.
7. 'I think we're going in circles here'
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When people are discussing a situation where they're trying to make another person understand, it can easily feel overwhelming. It might seem like neither person is understanding one another, and it causes frustration to build. But one of the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "your drama is exhausting" involves pointing out that they're both going in circles.
They may be caught up in their own emotions and don't realize they're repeating themselves or not being persuasive. But sometimes, people need a reminder that the conversation is over and that there isn't much left to say. It might seem rude or too direct on the surface, but the only way to get through to a dramatic person is by reeling them back in.
It might mean pointing them in the right direction or revisiting the conversation at a later time when it can be more productive. It not only saves time and energy, but helps both parties get out of a negative headspace.
8. 'Well, let's just see what happens'
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There's nothing more frustrating than feeling powerless. People want to feel in control of their lives and become anxious when their carefully planned life doesn't go their way. But individuals need to be reminded that they must simply let things go.
People who try to control outcomes by obsessing over the situation are doomed to fail. According to licensed psychotherapist Sharon Martin, this behavior is often a result of fear and anxiety.
"When things feel out of control, it's natural to want to control them in order to feel safe (or happy or content). But of course, we can't control other people and situations. So our efforts don't ultimately make us feel better. In fact, controlling behaviors usually create problems in our relationships and make us feel frustrated and stressed out," she revealed.
Martin added that as a result of this behavior, it creates perfectionist tendencies, which can destroy perfectly healthy relationships. So, giving another person a kind reminder can sometimes help alleviate their stress. Additionally, telling them they can't control everything may put them at ease.
Martin further suggested that people who are involved in drama can slowly find a better way to ground themselves by asking themselves what they're afraid of, accepting the situation, practicing flexibility, and reminding themselves they can't control everything.
9. 'There's nothing more I can say about this'
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It can be exhausting when someone keeps trying to convince another person of something. What began as a normal conversation may turn into a therapy session, which can feel exhausting to someone who isn't equipped to handle it.
According to psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen, PhD, it's easy to get caught up in other people's drama. "To break the pattern of drama, it's important to first shift your perspective and pay attention to what you'll be gaining by not getting involved," she recommended, adding that people can be less involved in drama by stepping back, paying attention to their body, connecting their mind and body, and thinking about their options.
When a brilliant person says "There's nothing more I can say about this," they're verbally expressing their boundaries and emotional threshold, and letting the other person know their drama is exhausting. To avoid this, people need to be direct and honest in their responses. If they truly have nothing left to give in the conversation, they should say it. It will save energy, emotional battery, and cut the conversation short when needed.
10. 'I'm going to need to tap out of this conversation'
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By using one of the phrases brilliant people use to politely say "your drama is exhausting" in this way, it's not meant to be rude; rather, it's a person saying they have had enough. Unlike taking a break, tapping out of a conversation means someone is actively choosing to put their well-being first.
It might feel unfair to the other person; after all, calling it quits in the middle of a conversation is a bit off-putting. But when a conversation becomes increasingly dramatic and unhinged, it's true that you can't help anyone if you can't even help yourself. As philosopher Susanna Newsonen wisely put it, "Yes, you can still be kind, show compassion and help others out — but only if it's not at the expense of your own compassion."
As difficult as it may be, ending a conversation is the best thing a person can do for themselves, regardless of how others might feel.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.