3 Personality Clues A Person Is An Insecure Attention-Seeker, According To Psychology
These personality traits signal that a person might be obsessed with validation.
Lacie Cueto | Unsplash There are three main types of attention seekers, and each type ends up frustrating their romantic partners and causing regular arguments or a bona fide breakup. Check out the three types below so you are prepared when you encounter them in the dating world — and real world.
Here are the personality clues that a person is an insecure attention-seeker:
1. They're the life of the party ... at every party
Think about your social circle, and you can probably come up with one or two people who always manage to be the life of the party. When they show up, they are “on” as if they’re working a stage.
While the phrase 'life of the party' often evokes a positive image of someone outgoing and charismatic, it can also be associated with insecurity and a need for attention in some contexts. Research suggests that attention-seeking behavior, whether seemingly genuine or not, can stem from various underlying needs and vulnerabilities, including low self-esteem, a desire for validation, or even underlying mental health conditions.
This type of attention seeker tends to be loud or boisterous. They constantly make jokes, act sassy, or say something cute or provocative. This type of man or woman can be fun for a night, but their romantic partners often get frustrated after a while for reasons I’ll discuss in a moment.
2. They flirt with literally everyone
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You instantly know the type I’m talking about, right? This type of person is often flirtatious and seductive. They often give people a look by holding eye contact, or touch others in a way that lingers a bit too long. They may direct attention to their nice physique. Though this type is often perceived as alluring, their romantic partners usually end up feeling angry or jealous over time.
Research suggests that excessive flirting can sometimes be linked to insecurity and a need for attention. Individuals may use flirtatious behavior to boost their self-esteem, seek validation from others, or even unconsciously try to induce jealousy in a partner to feel more desired. This behavior can be rooted in issues like low self-esteem, social anxiety, or a need for external validation, potentially indicative of histrionic personality disorder or other personality traits.
3. They start arguments for no reason
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At first, you may not think of an argument starter as an attention seeker. Yet, starting arguments or getting into debates is a major way attention seekers dominate the discussion and get everyone to focus on them.
Individuals who frequently initiate arguments may be motivated by insecurity and a need for attention. According to a 2018 study, they may argue to draw attention, seek validation, or exert control when they feel powerless.
People are often drawn to this type of attention seeker because this type can also appear strong on the surface. After a few months of putting up with this type, however, the romantic partners usually feel drained and annoyed.
Dr. Seth Meyers is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and TV guest expert. He treats a wide range of issues and disorders and specializes in relationships and parenting. He is the author of Dr. Seth's Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve.
