10 Personality Clues A Person's Bedroom Reveals, According To Psychology
From messy floors to color schemes, discover what your bedroom style says about your inner world.
Bruce Mars | Unsplash A friend of mine said that I have an eye a lot like Sherlock Holmes. I agree, assuming that Sherlock Holmes was blind. I’m not always super perceptive, and in my day-to-day, it takes a while for me to parse out what I’m seeing.
When it comes to a person’s bedroom? That’s a bit different. Because I used to be an escort (and also used to date a wide variety of people), I quickly learned what to watch for in a bedroom. These observations don’t always hold water, but in my experience, they are fairly accurate.
Author’s Note: I’m going to try to avoid obvious ones, like hobbies that you can see decorations of or identifiers like old college stuff. I’m going to talk about things you might not always pick up on and what it means about your personality.
Here are personality clues a person's bedroom reveals, according to psychology:
1. A dirty bedroom may indicate poor hygiene or problematic behavior
When I say a dirty bed, I don't mean that the sheets weren’t changed or that they forgot to make the bed. That’s just sloppy. I mean, you can see crumbs in the bed, the bed smells, filthy sheets, and you see food lying about.
A good rule of thumb for any house is that a dirty home is a home where bad stuff is happening. At best, you’re looking at a person who cannot take care of themselves because they’re either physically incapable or were never taught to do so.
In most cases, it’s a sign of severe mental illness or drug use. People who are very depressed, traumatized, or schizophrenic tend to have messy bedrooms. If it’s not mental illness, I’ve found that it usually deals with substance use. Personally, this is a dealbreaker that should be pretty widespread. It’s a serious warning sign.
Research suggests that a messy bedroom, while not a definitive indicator of personality, can sometimes reflect underlying issues such as disorganization, difficulty letting go, or even potential mental health struggles like depression or anxiety. Messy rooms can be a sign of difficulty letting go of possessions or things, which can be linked to hoarding behaviors or attachment issues.
2. Books by the bed may indicate a curious mind and a thirst for knowledge
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I’ve heard more than one person say that they view a lack of books in a home as a red flag. As a writer, that’s kind of a thing for me but I’ll point out that some people have e-readers like Kindles and tablets.
But a book by the bed? That’s always a good sign that you’re dating someone who appreciates intelligent conversation — or at least wants to learn something new.
The quality of the books also matters here. If I were to see a Jordan Peterson book on his shelf, I’d probably just collect my belongings and leave. On the other hand, if I saw a book about Japanese culture, I’d probably whip out some shibari ropes.
3. A pull-up bar or similar workout equipment may indicate your date cares about their health
Look, I’m just going to point this out: a lot of those gym bros are great lays. Whenever I see a pull-up bar, a yoga mat, or similar equipment, I’m going to assume that the person is in touch with their body.
While this could just be a matter of being a health nut, the truth is that it tends to show that the person in question takes care of themself. That’s a huge thing these days because a lot of our problems boil down to a lack of self-care.
Having workout equipment at home generally suggests a commitment to fitness and a desire for convenient, personalized workouts. Research by Harvard Health found that it reflects an active lifestyle and a focus on health and well-being. Equipment at home can help you save time and see better results more quickly.
PRO TIP: If your partner is sporty, expect to pick up a barbell or two if you want to keep them around. That’s a cornerstone of their life, man.
4. A bedroom that looks unusually youthful for the person’s age may indicate a red flag
A lot of people nowadays have a "geek corner" in their room with their favorite media stuff. They also may have stuffed animals they love. That’s actually pretty normal, especially for people who are young at heart.
However, there is a difference between a person who’s young at heart and a person whose bedroom looks like it belongs to a 12-year-old. I had an ex whose bedroom looked like it belonged to him at 13. Yes, it was unsettling, and he lived with his parents.
My stupid self didn’t recognize it as a red flag when I was 21. But, it totally was. That particular ex was the worst case of "failure to launch" I’ve ever seen. He remains living with his parents and he’s almost 50 now.
Your bedroom decor can tell a lot about who you are as a person. A person whose bedroom looks unsettlingly youthful is a person who may be emotionally or mentally "stuck" in that era. They may also be very emotionally immature.
In other words, this is a sign of a room that reflects a person’s inner world. Don’t be surprised if this person acts like a kidult.
5. A sparse room may indicate that they either are deeply utilitarian, not living there or don’t spend much time at home
We’ve all seen pictures of bedrooms where no decorations or personal touches are inside them. Most of the time, it’s in brochures about corporate housing for rent.
If you’ve ever gone into a person’s home that looks like this, it can be jarring. It looks stark, maybe even a little uncanny or soulless.
When you see this in a partner’s bedroom, it tends to mean that they don’t live there and that they travel more than they stay at home. However, that’s assuming they’re neurotypical.
People who don’t have many decorations or knickknacks may also have a sensory issue that requires them to keep clutter and colors low. This can be done to help them focus or to just reduce anxiety.
Minimalism, or voluntary simplicity, can increase well-being and happiness by reducing stress, promoting focus, and fostering a sense of purpose while potentially improving relationships and financial stability. A 2023 study found that minimalists can gain more time for self-reflection, connecting with family and friends, and contributing to society by managing life's excess.
6. Rooms with unusual lighting, artsy decor, and heavy colors may indicate they are creatives
I like to joke that I can always point out the creative’s room. These rooms tend to be very colorful, filled with knickknacks, paintings and drawings. They also tend to be the ones that involve unusual lighting like fairy lights or LED strips.
Generally speaking, the more aesthetically oriented a room is, the more likely it is that the person in question really focuses on artwork as an outlet or career. People with these types of bedrooms are often eccentric, quirky, or just really into provocative ideas.
If you see a ton of bright colors, you may also have a person who has a bold and vivacious personality. They’re looking to be the center of the action, not a person on the sidelines.
7. Scented candles or sound machines may indicate how they choose to relax
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For a lot of people, their video game systems are their feelings regulators and those are in the living room. Usually, anyway. On the other hand, we all need to have moments where we just kind of "wonk out" in our bedroom.
Take a look around the room. Do you see scented candles? An alarm clock that has waterfall sounds? Maybe it’s the soft lighting and aesthetics that help them calm down. Either way, it’s a good thing to know and how they help relax.
8. Bedrooms that look ultra-trendy may indicate that the person is very centered around appearances
We all have that one friend whose bedroom looks like it was professionally designed, right? The friend who constantly has the bed made, everything perfectly spotless, with just the perfect little touch of decor? Yep. That’s who I’m talking about.
A person who adapts the look of an Insta-worthy room either is an influencer or happens to really care about looks. Most people do not have the budget or the time to keep up a room that is spotless on their own time.
So if you see this, it could be that the person wants to be perceived as stylish or elegant. Or, it could be that the aesthetic of the room is what helps them unwind and calm down.
Keeping up appearances explores how individuals manage their public image and the motives behind such behaviors, often driven by the need for social validation and self-presentation. This includes studies on impression management, self-monitoring, and the role of social comparison.
9. A bed without a boxspring may indicate your partner is either broke or doesn’t care about his surroundings
This is not a red flag if you have a platform bed that doesn’t need a boxspring or a futon. What I’m talking about here is a typical spring mattress plopped unceremoniously on a floor with no bed underneath or anything. Bro, I’ve always seen this and I never understood it.
A mattress that needs a boxspring (like a spring mattress) is going to fall apart out on you if you don’t have one. This can affect your sleep quality. Besides, it doesn’t look good on the floor. It looks ratchet, and can even attract bed bugs.
Maybe it’s just from what I’ve seen, but every person I’ve met who had a mattress on a floor has seriously scary issues.
10. A bedroom that wasn’t cleaned before you arrived may indicate a person doesn't care about impressing you
When you’re going on a date, you want to put your best foot forward — especially if you intend on inviting that person to your room. That’s why it’s very telling when a date invites you to their apartment after dinner, only to have the apartment’s bedroom look like a pigsty.
I’ve seen a lot of dates who didn’t bother to tidy up their rooms before I came over. Heaps of laundry on the floor, drawers left open, random stuff everywhere…It was not appealing. It was messy, but it didn’t get to filth yet.
A person whose bedroom looks like this when they invite you over doesn’t care about impressing you. Or, they just can’t seem to care for themselves because they are too busy with life. Or it could be minor depression kicking in.
I always viewed this as a relationship red flag, even when I was younger. Seeing a messy room is fine if you’re just trying to get laid, but think about what that means if you two end up as an item.
Chances are, they aren’t going to change their housekeeping habits. They are going to stay messy. You might end up being the housekeeper — and trust me, that will get aggravating fast.
Lately, I’ve also heard of guys purposefully leaving their homes a mess to try to goad f-buddies into cleaning their place. Ladies, do not take this, okay?
Clutter can negatively impact relationships, leading to arguments, increased stress, and resentment, mainly when shared spaces are involved. A 2021 study found that clutter can create a chaotic environment discouraging connection and social interaction.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
