Psychology Says People Who Send These 3 Texts Have Incredible Social Skills
The most socially-savvy people text in a particular way.
South_agency | Canva When you're in those first exciting stages of dating, relationships, and falling in love, flirting via text can make all the difference in where things go between the two of you next. Texting provides men and women alike with an easy way to keep their flirt going and become more deeply attached — if you do it right.
The quality of the texting that goes on between you and a man can have a major impact on the depth and quality of your ultimate connection with him. So if you've been getting to know a guy and you want to keep him interested, send these socially savvy texts.
People who send these texts have incredible social skills:
1. The playful text
The best relationships have an element of playfulness, especially at the very beginning, yet in their day-to-day texting with each other, far too many men and women in new relationships default to standard questions like "How was your day?" and "What did you have for dinner last night?"
Keeping a conversation playful through text demonstrates social skills by indicating your ability to read social cues, understand the dynamic of the interaction, and respond appropriately with humor and lightheartedness. Research published in the University of California, Berkeley's Greater Good Magazine found this creates a positive and engaging experience for the other person, showing that you can navigate social interactions with ease and a sense of fun.
These texts may be thoughtful, but they're also the kind of texts you could send to a friend or your mum. If you like a guy and want to keep him excited about you, sending him fun, flirty texts is key.
Example of the playful text: “I don't know if I mentioned this yet but I’m a huge fan of vintage surfboards. I'm thinking of getting a new one, but I think I need someone to help me decide on which.”
Playful texts like this should be quirky and different, so start by thinking of a fun fact about yourself that he'll want to learn more about if he's the right guy for you. Revealing a personal trait or hobby is a great conversation starter as it breaks the ice and puts a smile on his face while he's learning more about you.
Why men love it: This approach serves a double purpose. First, guys love it because it takes the pressure off of them to create conversations from scratch, and second, guys love it when a woman is cheeky and unique, as it opens the door for some serious flirting down the line. It's the personal touch that turns those initially awkward first-text exchanges into something super fun.
Do: Personalize your texts to match your style. Tell him fun facts about you that make you awesome. Whether it’s your hobbies, your style, or your sense of humor, your unique qualities are what make you rock.
Don't: Exaggerate or try to seem like someone you're not. Doing that will only bite you down the line, and there's honestly nothing cooler than being yourself. If he’s not into you for you, that's his loss. Better to know now.
2. The front-of-mind text
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Everyone wants to be wanted, and there's no harm in moderately expressing your feelings for a man in a way that lets him know you're interested. Showing your vulnerability is a great step toward building trust, and it's one of the fastest ways to develop an emotional connection. When you let your guard down with a guy, he's more likely to do the same in return.
Example of the front-of-mind text: “You were on my mind today. It was nice.”
Showing vulnerability is not showing weakness. It's a show of ultimate strength. A man who's worth your time and affection will appreciate the simple, open honesty of a raw text that says, “Just FYI, you're having a positive impact on my life,” in whatever way you feel most comfortable. At the end of the day, we’re all human and we all want attention and affection, so take a deep breath and let him know that he has both ... for now.
Why men love it: We’re told that coming on too strong scares guys away, and to an extent that can be true. But there’s no shame in admitting to someone that they make your day better.
This is the kind of text a guy saves on his phone. He’ll feel special, and the value you show him he adds to your life will remind him of how you're adding value to his life, too.
Do: Mean it. No one likes being led on, so adding this kind of emotion to your texts should only happen when you truly feel it.
Don't: Go too hard or too fast. Emotional texts should be saved once you’ve gotten to know someone a bit. Holding off will make opening up less scary for both of you.
3. The funny text
You can add lots of funny layers of meaning to your texts by adding emojis, GIFs, and pictures into the mix. Show him you're on his mind by taking a picture when you come across something the two of you had just been discussing, or when you spot a new restaurant the two of you just have to try based on your mutual love of Italian food.
Example of the funny text: Feeling thrilled the weekend is finally here? Express it with your favorite "Happy Friday" GIF.
Why men love it: Nothing makes him feel happier than knowing he put a smile on your face. By sending him a happy face emoji or a cute GIF, he'll have proof he made that happen!
This allows you to convey emotions, add context, and show understanding of the other person's feelings in a way that goes beyond words. A study from 2022 found you can create a more nuanced and engaging communication style that fosters connection and empathy.
Do: Reply with cute emojis. If he sends you a sweet message of his own to say he's thinking of you, too? Hit him with a heart-eyes emoji in return!
Don't: Get too serious. Above all, keep things light and playful and he'll be texting you back like nobody's business.
Iona Yeung is a dating and relationship coach who works with single women to identify their roadblocks in dating, attract the good guys, and communicate from a space of love and clarity.