People With A High IQ (But No Confidence) Usually Display These 9 Behaviors Without Realizing It
Confidence is key.
Joshua Seiler | Shutterstock Being highly intelligent can open up plenty of opportunities. From gaining access to the best schools to the possibility of snagging the best jobs, intelligent people seem to have it all. Unfortunately, confidence isn't always something that comes easily to someone who is incredibly smart.
Intelligent people who lack confidence let their insecurities get the best of them. Not taking the initiative and refusing to express themselves, these people might be taken advantage of for their "meek nature."
Those with high IQs should watch for some of these common behaviors to avoid this.
People with high IQs — but no confidence — usually display these 9 behaviors without realizing it
1. They overthink everything
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People with a high IQ but no confidence tend to overthink before deciding.
When asked what they'll do, expect to find these individuals frozen in place for a while. Gathering their thoughts, they'll weigh the pros and cons.
Yet, this isn't abnormal. Nature Communications found that smart people take longer to solve complicated problems. Researchers found that this is because their brains take longer to process information.
Yet unlike confident high-IQ people, these individuals will reach the best conclusion and still not commit to a decision. This is because they're not confident enough to voice their opinions or be confident in their findings.
This explains why high-IQ people might say, "I don't know what you think," to their coworkers or friends, secretly hoping they'll reach the same conclusion as they have. But if not, expect this high-IQ individual to stay quiet about their opinions.
Even if they're entirely right, their low self-confidence convinces them that other people know best.
2. They over-apologize
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People with a high IQ but no confidence usually apologize way too much. When someone bumps into them, they apologize for being 'in the way,' even if it's the other person's fault.
Stuttering profusely, they'll say, 'Oh gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't see you there. Please forgive me.' This is unfortunate, as someone with no confidence doesn't have the inner power to stand up for themselves and take charge.
This adds up, as the American Psychologist found that people with low self-confidence tend to engage in antisocial behavior, which can make it harder for them to assess other people's emotions.
This explains why people with a high IQ don't know how to read the room and recognize when someone else has wronged them. This isn't ideal — a study published in The European Journal of Social Psychology found that people who apologize for social rejection (e.g., canceling plans at the last minute) make others more aggressive.
Additionally, it forces people to forgive even if they don't want to, leading to annoyance and frustration.
So, the next time a brilliant person finds themselves in a tricky situation, remember that it's not always better to apologize. People should only do so if they genuinely mean it or are sure they did something wrong.
3. They need constant reassurance
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Another indicator that someone has a high IQ but no confidence is if they need constant reassurance.
Crying in their friend's arms, they might whine about their insecurities or how bad they have it. Looking up teary-eyed, they'll ask their friends for solutions, encouragement, or reassurance that they made the right decision.
Although there's nothing wrong with a bit of comfort, seeking constant reassurance and advice from others isn't always a great idea. It might lead to dependency issues for high-IQ people.
Yet, their insecurity and need for self-reassurance aren't surprising when looking at studies. Specifically, a study published in Intelligence found that high-IQ people tend to be more susceptible to mood disorders.
Unfortunately, mood disorders like anxiety and depression can cause high IQ to go into panic mode and question their ability to handle difficult situations.
This combined explains why knowledgeable people need to go to others for support. Their mental health puts doubt into their mind, leading them to question their capability.
4. They overwork themselves
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Another sign of people with a high IQ but no confidence is if they constantly overwork themselves.
Unfortunately, people who lack self-confidence feel like they have to go above and beyond to prove their worth. They'll work late and keep 'perfecting' their work until it's 'good enough.'
Though initially that might sound unproblematic, they're using the guise of being a hard worker to compensate for their low self-confidence.
In truth, they don't want to spend an extra hour or two staying late to finish a project. Yet a voice deep inside them tells them that it'll somehow make them a failure if they don't.
This is why high-IQ people with no confidence should explore different ways to ground themselves and take it easy. Finding ways to ease that paranoia and anxiety, though difficult, will only pay off in the end.
5. They don't know how to take a compliment
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Unfortunately, people with a high IQ but no confidence tend to freeze when others compliment them. Blushing hot red, they'll stutter and finally mutter thanks when praised for their looks or hard work.
On the surface, this might sound endearing and innocent. Yet, high-IQ people who can't acknowledge their hard work will eventually be taken advantage of.
This is because they feel like they're not doing enough, so when someone acknowledges them, they feel it's unjustified. This is bad, as not accepting praise can lead to unconsciously seeking words that confirm one's biases.
This means that people with a high IQ but no confidence might brush off compliments but take criticisms seriously. Criticism confirms their inner reality and how they feel about themselves.
High-IQ individuals should get into the habit of taking compliments seriously and using them as motivation. If they can't find peace and joy in praise, they might actively seek it in toxic environments.
6. They brush off their achievements
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Similar to compliments, people with a high IQ but no confidence don't celebrate their achievements. When people come to congratulate them, they brush off their praises and see them as 'not a big deal.'
After all, they are expected to be highly successful. They're supposed to be intelligent enough and competent enough to handle any challenge that comes their way.
Unfortunately, not celebrating those milestones might do more harm than good. Licensed clinical psychologist Yesel Yoon, Ph.D., wrote that not celebrating those small wins might lead to burnout and discouragement.
Moreover, people who can celebrate their wins boost motivation, self-confidence, and self-awareness.
So, the next time someone with a high IQ accomplishes something great, they shouldn't feel bad if they want to go out to celebrate. Celebration might be just what they need to encourage them to reach even more significant milestones.
7. They fear failure
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People with a high IQ but no confidence usually avoid failure because they secretly fear it.
Understand that highly intelligent people already have a lot to deal with. Due to their natural abilities, people tend to seek them out and set high expectations for them. Since they're naturally gifted, their families will expect more from them. This means that their Friday nights that should have been spent playing might've been spent studying for their upcoming history test.
Unfortunately, this amount of pressure, combined with their susceptibility to mood disorders, has all but shattered their self-confidence. Now, they do their best to avoid failure by refusing to try something new or overworking themselves to exhaustion.
As the European Journal of Public Health mentioned the fear of failure increases stress and decreases social and emotional well-being in students. All things considered, high-IQ people should take it easy and find ways to incorporate self-care into their routines. Otherwise, their overall well-being might take a hit.
8. They are conflict avoidant
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Another indicator that someone has a high IQ but no confidence is if they avoid conflict.
High-IQ people pick and choose the things that are worth their time. Not all arguments are worth debating. Intelligent people know this and purposely disengage if the argument appears to go nowhere.
Unfortunately, people with a high IQ — yet no confidence — are left in a more tricky predicament.
They want to disengage but lack the self-confidence to say so. People with High IQs are already awkward at socializing, so the tendency to avoid confrontation makes it even more complicated and a recipe for disaster.
One study published by the American Psychological Association found that people with low self-esteem had more antisocial behavior, but that's not all. The same study found that people with low self-esteem also had poor work performance, school performance, and mental and physical health.
All of this can lead them to avoid conflict, as they lack the self-confidence to walk away or express their mind.
9. They’re perfectionists (to a fault)
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Finally, people with a high IQ but no confidence are usually perfectionists. Since they grew up with high expectations, they don't know how to relax.
They've been told they'll be someone great all their life. With that amount of pressure, it isn't surprising that, as adults, things need to be aligned perfectly for high-IQ people. In their eyes, their future depends on it.
Yet this thought process isn't surprising when people consider the fact that high IQ people tend to be more prone to mood disorders. According to a study published on MDPI, anxiety and perfectionism go hand in hand. Specifically, people with perfectionist tendencies were increasingly likely to have higher stress and, therefore, higher levels of anxiety.
Showcasing just how important it is for people with a high IQ to take it easy. Otherwise, their mental and physical health might suffer because of it.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology.