5 Parts Of Your Life That Actually Get Worse When You Start Healing
Healing is messier than we expect, which is why you you need to be prepared.
Halay Alex via Shutterstock We are always told how beautiful it'll be when we're on our healing journey.
"You'll be happier and more focused," you hear. "You'll progress more and live the life of your dreams," they say. Life will become easy and everyone will love you!
The truth is, healing can be a lot messier than we expect. While your life may improve in some ways, healing may indirectly cause other aspects of your life to fall apart. It helps to be prepared for the things that become messier as your emotional health becomes cleaner and clearer.
Five things that might get worse when you actually start healing
Certified coach Hailey Paige Magee discusses the five things that might get worse while you begin to heal and why this isn't always such a bad thing.
1. You get worse at maintaining relationships based on guilt or obligation
As you begin to heal you'll find it harder to be in relationships that mentally drain you. Magee says, "You get worse at maintaining relationships based solely on guilt or obligation." But guess what? That's a good thing.
Understand that life is far too short to be wasting it on people who take from you but never give. And I get it, letting these people go might not always be so easy. However, if you find yourself wanting to end a relationship because of your mental health, never feel guilty for it.
The people who truly love you will understand you — even if it hurts.
2. You get worse at shape-shifting
Before your healing journey, you might've found yourself becoming an actor. Shape-shifting yourself into what other people wanted you to be. But, as you step into your healing journey you might find it harder to maintain an inauthentic facade since authenticity is a part of healing as shown in a study of authenticity and well-being.
Magee explains, "It feels harder and harder to betray yourself, and other people's disappointment feels easier to hold than your own inauthenticity."
3. You get worse at tolerating disrespect
People who are healed don't tolerate disrespect as part of the dynamic of self-respect and self-knowledge explored by the University of Edinburgh. And if you find yourself having a harder time letting things slide? Then, this only means you're going down the right path.
Nicoleta Ionescu via Shutterstock
"And instead of trying to convince people to treat you with basic dignity, you start walking away and that's a good thing," explains Magee.
4. You get worse at caring about other people's opinions of you
If you find yourself healing you might find it harder to care about other people's opinions of you. After all, you're living your best life and you've never been happier. So, who cares what this one person thinks, right? And you'd be absolutely right.
Magee adds, "Especially if they've never given you a reason to trust or respect them and that's a good thing. Not everyone's opinion of you deserves your mental real estate."
5. You get worse at how often you vent about the same relationship
Finally, people who are healing don't vent about the same relationship over and over again. No, they acknowledge just how draining that toxic relationship was and then they cut it off completely.
Magee adds, "And instead you realize that you have agency over the dynamics you choose to participate in." Which is a powerful thing in itself.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.