Parents Blame 9th Grade Teacher’s Lack Of ‘Safe Space’ In The Classroom For Their Child’s Poor Performance — ‘Every Year There Is One’
Your child's teacher isn't your enemy.
BearFotos | Shutterstock School is back in session, and with it seems to have come the re-emergence of a troubling trend — extensive problems with student behavior and performance and altercations with parents who blame these problems solely on teachers.
Surely, there are times when teachers are part of the problem. Still, for one high school teacher on Reddit, it seems evident that the students' myriad issues — and especially their parents' total lack of willingness to deal with them — are what's actually to blame.
A problem student's parents blame the teacher for their child's poor performance and refusal to attend class.
"Every year there is one," the teacher wrote in their Reddit post, referring to a student whose parents have proven just as challenging as the student. Just three weeks into the school year, the student has already spent more days in counseling, peer mediation, or the dean's office than they have in class.
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The student has completed no work, refuses to participate in class, and has both learning and mental health issues.
The teacher wrote that the student "has not completed a single assignment" and has withdrawn from class activities. The student also requires extensive guidance on every assignment and activity.
"[They] clearly need an Individualized Education Plan or Behavior Improvement Plan, but has no documentation in place," the teacher added.
But even more worrying is the mental health crisis the student seems to be experiencing. "[They have] clearly stated that they have delusions that border on hallucinations throughout the day IN FRONT OF THEIR PARENTS," the teacher wrote with alarm.
During a recent Open House, the teacher hoped to connect with the student's parents. They did end up chatting for 20 minutes, but it was completely unproductive.
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The student's mom blamed the teacher for not 'creating a safe space' while the dad played games on his phone.
The conversation did not go well. While the dad sat by paying no attention and playing games on his phone, the mom laid into the teacher for not "making the classroom a safe space for her student." She asked "what action steps I would take to remediate the situation."
However, in the teacher's professional opinion, the situation was in the parents' hands. "What I wanted to say: 'Your student has a Specific Learning Disability and an Emotional Disturbance, and you should obtain paperwork saying so as soon as possible,'" they wrote. This way, the teacher could get the students the help they needed.
She calmly — and repeatedly — walked the parents through "an action plan," but it did little good. "Mom looked pissed that I wasn't doing more for her precious little can't-do-anything-wrong child, but eventually left." But only after blaming the teacher for her child skipping class.
The teacher added, "every other parent loved me... and said their kid loved my class... so I'm not just [bad] at my job."
Fellow teachers urged the Reddit user to contact her administrators immediately to document the situation before the student's parents escalated it, simply to protect their jobs. But with the parents showing no willingness to help, there's little else they can do.
This teacher's experience highlights an increasingly common problem leading to teacher resignations.
Problems like these are becoming increasingly common, with test scores showing rapidly declining skills in both reading and mathematics among students. While it's unknown whether the two are linked, problems with combative parents are on the rise, too, fueling teachers and other school workers to leave the profession.
The American Psychological Association (APA) found that aggression and even violence against teachers from parents and guardians grew by 10% in the first two years of the pandemic, and aggression from students grew by nearly 15%.
Unsurprisingly, this mess is fueling teachers' job quits. The APA study found that rates of those saying they intend to leave their current position or the profession altogether jumped 8% in a single year, with counselors, administrators, and other professionals showing similar increases.
The exasperation this teacher feels is evident in their words. It's easy to scoff and say that it sounds like they just don't have the patience for the job, but teachers can only do so much — they can't make students do their coursework or come to class, and they certainly can't fill in for parenting.
Presumably, the mom in this scenario is overwhelmed by the list of her child's problems and her husband's seemingly total lack of engagement. But most teachers are not only trained but motivated to be partners and helpers with that load.
Treating them like the enemy isn't just disrespectful; it's counterproductive, and it puts parents' egos ahead of their kids' needs. It's time to start treating teachers like knowledgeable and highly trained professionals. Most of them are instead of babysitters with a bad attitude.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.