Parenting Coach Shares Simple 3-Step, 5-Minute Method For Getting Kids Off Screen Time Without A Meltdown
Use this technique to reduce the screentime meltdown cycle.
Anawat_s | Canva Pro The introduction of technology marked the beginning of a new age in our world through the advancement of innovative phones and tablets and, of course, the internet. But with this momentous shift came an entirely new culture of being, and it’s posed quite a challenge in our younger generations particularly.
As a Generation Zer, I can personally attest to the significant impact touch screens and social media had on my childhood. I went from spending most of my time outside climbing trees and riding bicycles with friends to spending hours playing Flappy Bird and checking how many likes I had on my recent Instagram post.
Suffice it to say that among the various benefits and enrichments technology has invited into our culture, it’s also created a concerning dilemma for the generation of iPad kids who don’t know a world without technology. And their parents are seeking ways to set firm restrictions without the constant meltdowns that follow.
One parenting coach took to TikTok to share the simple three-step method parents can use to effectively restrict screen time for their kids.
Unless you’re a no-screen family, which is rare in this generation, you likely allow your kids to regularly consume some form of media. There’s nothing wrong with this in moderation, as too much screen time exposure to a young child can lead to excessive tantrums and behavioral issues.
But chances are, regardless of whether you set restrictions or not, a meltdown is likely to occur.
Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta, a parenting coach, demonstrated what this can look like in a recent TikTok, illustrating the patient parent warning their child of how much screen time they have left, only to deal with a tantrum anyway.
She offered a simple but effective three-step, five-minute method for parents to consider when restricting screen time with their child to reduce the risk of tantrums.
1. Join them in their screen time
This subtle approach is most effective when parents don’t yet announce that their child’s screen time is about to be limited. Whether the kid is watching a show or playing a game, this step allows the parents to meet their child halfway.
“Joining means watching the show … playing the game for at least ten seconds, actually being really present with your child in this media experience,” Hauge-Zavaleta advised. “This is going to help your child feel seen and follow you, but it’s also going to help you to know when a good time to end the show is.”
By being present with your child before officially cutting off their screen time, you can get a better understanding of the appropriate timing to do so, and your child will be grateful for this.
“Most adults would also lose their mind if you stopped the show, like right in the middle of a scene,” Hauge-Zavaleta noted.
2. Calmly let your child know the end of their screen time is coming
Hauge-Zavaleta clarified that this approach should be different from the traditional “warning” that parents give their kids when their screen time is about to end.
She explained that “when you [say] ‘warning’ to your child, you shut their nervous system into overdrive,” which ultimately results in a meltdown.
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Instead, Hauge-Zavaleta suggested parents approach this transition with “priming,” ensuring a relaxed and stimulating countdown or farewell to your child’s screens that they can enjoy as you sit beside them.
Approaching situations with positivity and connection can reduce your child’s anxiety or stress. It might also be wise to announce the next activity you can both do together to seamlessly pull them away from the screens and onto something else.
3. Lend your child your nervous system
Hauge-Zavaleta expressed how this step, which she described as center regulation, is the most important one of all.
“Before you get your child off the screen, you have to get them in a ready state to receive and process the transition with you,” she explained.
“You’re going to lend them your nervous system. This is the heart of co-regulation.”
Focus on being present and connected with your child. Avoid giving in to anxious feelings, and remember to slow down.
The way you approach the situation will directly impact your child’s reception of it.
Use a gentle and calm but confident tone that can prepare your child for the transition away from their screen. While there may still be some resistance, there will be much less likelihood of a meltdown.
A closer connection to your child can reduce the risk of meltdowns.
What’s interesting about Hauge-Zavaleta’s method is how the parent’s controlled and regulated approach surrounding screen time restrictions is what helps avoid temper tantrums — not the screens themselves.
If you’ve been finding it difficult to manage your child’s behavior, consider how your own stress may be contributing to it. It takes a great deal of mental strength and patience to be a good parent, but in the end, focusing on cultivating a deeper connection with your child will transform your relationship.
You know your child better than anyone, so take what resonates and get creative with how to navigate their emotional regulation to the best of your ability.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.