Parent Spams Teacher Grieving Husband’s Passing With Messages About Her Child’s Grades — ‘You Still Have To Do Your Job’
What this parent did was inconsiderate and rude during a time that was painful enough already.
When someone loses a loved one, it’s generally expected that they get some time to mourn their loss in peace. One parent apparently didn’t get the memo, or at least didn't care.
While a teacher was grieving the loss of her husband, a parent decided to invade her privacy and repeatedly sent messages to her, not in support but regarding her child's grades.
A teacher was trying to grieve the loss of her husband when a student’s mom spammed her with messages.
A teacher took to Reddit to share the disturbing experience their colleague had after losing her husband. “My colleague’s husband passed away suddenly last week,” they said. “She has two small kids, and it’s been really hard on her.”
“Keep in mind that the school posted a notice about his death on social media (which is a whole different issue),” they continued. “I’ve taken over her grading because she has enough on her plate.”
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One parent was not willing to give this teacher the space she needed to heal following her loss.
“We share a problem parent,” they stated. “This mom has three kids in the same grade. I teach one of them, my colleague teaches the other two.”
In a reply to a comment on the post, the teacher explained how the mom had three kids in the same grade. “They are a set of twins, and a stepson,” they wrote.
“We make a point to ignore this mom if she spams us with messages, or contacts us outside of school hours,” they stated. “For example, this woman has sent me 23 messages in one weekend to ask for her child’s marks, the day after they completed the assignment.”
The teacher went on to describe the “current issue” they were facing with this particular parent. “On Friday, my colleague forwarded a whole bunch of messages to me, from this mom,” they explained. “In summary, she wants her kids’ marks, and she knows ‘your husband is dead but you still have to do your job.’”
On the other hand, the same rules do not seem to apply to her. “This is the same woman who wanted her kids excused from exams because they were helping her plan her wedding,” they said.
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This teacher felt like some parents struggled to remember that they were people too.
“How the [expletive] can you be so heartless and cruel?” they asked. “Do they just not see us as humans with feelings?”
“My colleague is going through the worst time of her life, and this horrible woman thinks it’s okay to send her dozens of [messages] harassing her for marks that aren’t even due to be released for two weeks,” they said. “I cannot describe how angry I am right now.”
It can be difficult to remember that teachers are just regular people doing a job, much like you. Teachers do seem to take on some kind of separate classification in our minds. We forget they are people who have lives outside of the classroom.
This teacher is certainly not alone in feeling this way.
Unfortunately, quite a few teachers feel that they are not recognized as actual humans with normal lives and feelings.
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Writing for The Educator’s Room, Dana Brown detailed a contentious situation that came up with a parent.
“I was left hurt and defensive, because I knew the conflicts could have been avoided or de-escalated before the confrontation arose if the parents had simply talked to me as an educated professional or even just a fellow human being,” she said.
Blair King expressed similar sentiments when writing for HuffPost. King is married to a teacher.
“Her time with our children is as precious to her as your time with your children is for you,” he said of his wife. “Respect her family time in the same way you ask others to respect yours.”
Just because this woman is a teacher does not mean she should be available 24/7, and especially does not mean she should be available while mourning her husband. Some boundaries exist for a reason.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.