5 Painfully Cold Truths You Must Know To Win At Life
Lessons you should learn to become the master of your own life.
Moon | Unsplash Life is a continuous journey of learning, improvement, and experimenting. Every experience is a brick in the building of your character, knowledge, or emotional resilience. Whenever in a tight situation, remember this: You were gifted the human experience to be able to feel a wide range of emotions. If you were a spiritual being, and had the opportunity to come to earth and experience all kinds of emotions for a brief period, both positive and negative, would you take it? This is one way I'm guiding myself through tough times, or when I wonder why I have to experience something that affects me profusely.
There are certain life lessons that we all receive, some reality checks, that are purely based on our journeys and perceptions. However, some truths and life lessons are more general and we should all learn and accept them at some point in our lives, to make this experience a better one. Let’s talk about five truths that will help you get a grip on your life and hopefully see things from a different perspective.
Here are 5 painfully cold truths you must know to win in life:
1. The world is not against you
As hard as this is to believe sometimes, the energy just doesn’t work that way. It may seem like you are swimming against the current sometimes, but you can’t expect an exploration journey to be a straight highway, right? There’s going to be turns, sharp turns sometimes. There are also going to be uphill and downhill parts of the road. There are going to be highways, country roads, forest paths, steep climbing, or slides. There’s going to be sunny, rainy, or a full-blown storm. There’s going to be parts you walk alone, and parts where you have company. There’s going to be parts where you’ll drive, parts where you’ll walk, parts where you’ll run, parts where you’ll swim, and parts where you’ll crawl. There’s going to be dead ends, crossroads, closed roads, and parts where you’ll know for sure which way to go.
There is a saying in my native language that says: Something bad doesn’t ever come alone! And that, in my head, has some meaning. Let me explain. We are energy. So is everything around us. So is the world itself. The universe or God or whatever you believe in, will test you. It will test you to check that what you desire is true enough, that you know what you are worth, and that you believe in yourself. It will sometimes throw a hardship, a problem, or an obstacle in your way.
The difference is how you respond to it. How does your mind, body, and spirit respond to it? If something negative happens, we tend to get angry, sad, or have an overall negative reaction to it. Our subconscious, our energy field, will transmit the negative energy in the universe, which will return the same kind of energy to us. And that’s how something else negative might be happening because that’s the energy you had. The world is never against you. The world is a reflection of you and your perception, with some occasional tests or experiences to help you grow. View it this way, and you’re not going to be feeding the negative experiences.
2. No loss, no gain
You’ve probably heard a few derivations of this expression around:
- "No pain, no gain," said the gym bro
- "No risk, no return," said the finance bro
- "No letting go, no progress," said the spiritual bro
And even if this is not what you wanted to hear, they are all right! It doesn’t have to be a physical loss, not even a spiritual one, but it’s a metaphor for the comfort zone, of the usual life. To progress, you need some kind of change. And change, usually means giving up something old, and making room for something new. You are going to lose the security of your paycheck when you start your own business. You are going to lose the everyday help from your parents when you move alone. You are going to lose a lot of clothes when you build muscle in the gym. You are going to lose an outlet when you give up smoking. Losing is sometimes synonymous with change. And Change is needed for progress! Losing is not bad in this context, isn’t it?!
3. You must be excluded from your current narrative
As we discussed in the previous point, losing and change are needed for progress, and are sometimes unavoidable when you evolve. But how do you evolve? How do you implement change? You can do a series of actions to improve or change:
- You get rid of old habits
- You pick up new habits
- You get rid of limiting beliefs
- You pick up affirmations
- You meditate
- You take action
- You do introspection
- You keep track
And sometimes, all these don’t result in a sudden change or improvement, like you wished. Why is that? Because you need to change your identity! And to do that, you need to change your narrative. You need to change your environment! Having a New Year resolution to go to the gym more won’t work if you are a sedentary person, you don’t pay attention to your nutrition, you don’t like sporty people, or you don’t view yourself as a sporty person all around. For example, this is how you get out of your environment when you want to be more sporty:
- You ditch the car or public transport for walking, whenever possible.
- You resist the temptation to eat unhealthy, non-nutritious food, even when going out with friends and ordering burgers.
- You prioritize your sleep, even if it means leaving a party early.
- You go to the gym or running, even when you don’t feel like it.
- You hang out more with sporty people.
- Don’t buy junk food when you go shopping.
- Make it easier to get out of the house when you go exercising.
Changing your environment will make it a lot easier to implement the changes you desire. Work smart, not hard.
4. Choose your reality
This is debatable and some people will say reality is objective and ignoring it or imagining something else, isn’t going to change that. Well, I partially disagree. Your reality is YOUR reality, not just a reality. Reality itself is prone to subjectivity. No fully objective person can attest to how the reality is. So everyone will see it from their perspective, through their lens, which is subjective to their past experiences. By choosing your reality, I mean focusing on what gives you energy, purpose, and motivation and makes you feel good. Ignore the things that weaken you mentally. Because whether we like it or not, and this can be a point on its own or a full-blown article, not everything is within your control. If you can’t change anything, and dwelling over it makes you feel miserable, then move your focus onto something else.
5. You are worth what your information is worth
This is a hard truth that hits everyone hard sometimes. We are human beings, the most complex emotional creatures we know about. We are not just what we know. We are what we feel, what we believe, what we do to others, how we contribute to the world, and how we deal with others. And that’s true! You are much more than your job, your information, the knowledge you acquired, the university you graduated from, the family you were born into, or the path that you’ve chosen.
Nobody should ever limit any human being to one of these, but sadly they do! People have an ego, so they are ego-centric. The most important thing for anyone is themselves and their well-being. So you are valuable to them, as long as you provide some kind of value. This value can mean multiple things:
- How much money you can make for them
- How much care can you provide to them
- How much security you can provide to them
- How much useful information you can give them
- How much help can you provide to them
And this list can go on. Master communicators do one thing very well. They identify what the other person needs, and what they can give to them that aligns with that. And the interlocutor will be pleased. If you want to get far in life, you need to increase your information. Which means, you need to increase your knowledge and abilities. This way, you will have more to give to the world, and there are going to be many more people who will see you as valuable. Remember to always know your value, outside of this information. You are not limited to that. The world limits you within the borders they can understand. But use this information to get ahead.
In conclusion, live your life, follow your desires, take your path, and learn and experience as much as possible. There are many more truths to life than what I mentioned here, but I hope that these truths will help you make sense of the world ahead of you.
Alexandru Lazar is a software engineer, entrepreneur, writer, and contributor to YourTango. He’s had articles on self-improvement, fitness, and wellness, featured on a range of Medium publications, as well as part of his Newsletter, Rise by 1%.