Overwhelmed Mom Concerned That 'The Village Is Collapsing' — 'Those Without Kids Aren't Offering To Help'
She argued that everyone should be working harder to help those who need the support.
fizkes | Shutterstock When it comes to parenting and raising children, it's not an easy feat. There are moments of pure exhaustion, stress, and feeling overwhelmed. Most mothers can agree that sometimes, all they want is to drop their kids off with a family member or friend for a few hours just to get some peace and quiet.
The term "it takes a village" is often associated with those feelings, but according to a mom with the username @theminivanmama on TikTok, the lack of support for mothers seems to have been growing lately.
The mom claimed that the 'village is collapsing' and parents are suffering.
"Yesterday, I sent a text to a bunch of moms to help, and I'm so grateful. So many moms were willing to step up and help me and take my kids to dinner," the overwhelmed mom began in her video. "And then when I went to go pick my kids up from my friend's house who was watching them, my daughter was covered in [expletive], the kids were crying, and it was just chaos."
She expressed remorse that her friend was being subjected to this level of chaos from kids that weren't even hers. She observed that her friend and her husband were simply trying to keep their head above water while watching her kids, and she admitted that she wasn't mad in the slightest about the scene she'd walked into.
From that experience, she concluded that the village is collapsing, and while people want to help their friends and family members with children, it's becoming increasingly difficult to seek out that support when everyone is trying to keep themselves afloat.
"I'm realizing people who don't have kids or their kids are out of the house, or who don't have kids yet, they are the ones who are supposed to be part of the village helping us," she insisted. "They are the ones who have the time, who have the capacity, who have either been there, have gone through it, and have the knowledge and the experience to teach us."
It's a bit presumptuous to assume that just because people either don't have kids or their kids are grown and have left the nest, they are obligated to support struggling parents.
It's an appreciated effort, of course, but everyone has their own messes and obstacles to deal with.
People without kids are just as entitled to their free time and navigating the different parts of their lives without having to worry about looking after a child that isn't theirs in the first place.
RuslanGuzov | Canva Pro
On the other hand, it's frustrating that parents, especially mothers, aren't able to get the adequate help that they need ——especially working moms and single moms.
However, that issue shouldn't be dumped on child-free adults or parents whose children are grown. Choosing not to have children does not mean you are anti-children, but it also does not obligate you to be an on-call babysitter.
Perhaps the real issue isn't that the village is collapsing. The real issue is that parents need more help because the economy is a disaster. Childcare is unaffordable, making parenthood a more significant struggle.
The mom expressed regret that before having kids, she wasn't there for those in her life who had kids.
"I wish I had known how much they are struggling and I wish someone had taught me that I can help them," she continued. She admitted that when thinking about potentially moving back to her hometown to be close to her parents again to receive that support, it didn't sit right with her.
She explained that she tried hard to move on and start her own life, so for her to go back home would almost be as if she were moving backward. Unfortunately, this seems to be the case for many adults, but no matter how old you get or how many children you have, your parents will always be there for support and compassion.
Needing your parents doesn't just end when you turn 18 and enter adulthood; there should never be shame in needing your parents around.
"We all need to do better to help others. When I can help others, like when I'm older, and have the capacity to be helping neighbors with kids and things like that," she said. "And anyone who doesn't have kids, encouraging them [about] how they can help."
At the end of the day, we could all benefit from having both compassion and understanding for different people's situations.
People without children shouldn't be expected to drop everything they're dealing with to carry someone else's stress, and parents who are struggling should be allowed to have their "village," but within reason, of course. But everyone's personal lives are filled with obstacles, and it helps if we don't have certain expectations, especially for other women, because the reality is — we're all overworked and underpaid and, ultimately, just trying to exist.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.