11 Outdated Beliefs That Are Quietly Ruining The Lives Of Gen-X And Boomers
It's never too late to let go of the things that no longer serve you.
SpeedKingz | Shutterstock No matter how old someone is, they spend their life building a belief system and figuring out who they want to be. They collect stories from their parents, school lessons, and society's messages that guide them through life. Yet, as they age, they often hold beliefs that no longer serve them.
If Gen X and Boomers want to live as their best selves, they have to let go of the outdated beliefs that are quietly ruining their lives. Gen Z is challenging the status quo. They’re pushing for long-overdue changes, but older generations are resistant because they haven’t done the inner work to realize how limiting their beliefs are.
Here are 11 outdated beliefs that are quietly ruining the lives of Gen X and Boomers:
1.‘Company loyalty pays off’
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When Gen X and boomers first found work, they were guided by the idea that sticking with one company for their whole lives would give them a steady income and job stability. Over the past twenty years, the economy has been a rollercoaster ride, and the job market has experienced major upheaval. As layoffs continue across every industry, Gen X and boomers are learning a hard lesson: Company loyalty doesn’t mean much.
The economic reality is so different now than when Gen Z and boomers were entering the workforce, so many younger people have no problem leaving a job that doesn’t give them what they need. According to Harvard Business Review, 83% of Gen Zers outright claim the job-hopper label. They plan to change roles at least three times throughout their careers. While Gen X and boomers are more likely to stay at the same company for years, Gen Z knows that the best way to increase their salary is to find a new job.
2.‘You have to be thin to be beautiful’
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Gen X and boomers grew up surrounded by diet culture, which reinforced extremely rigid beauty standards that were impossible to reach. They were raised to believe the outdated belief that you had to be thin to be beautiful. This idea was old-fashioned even back then, but it took another few decades for people to embrace body positivity and body acceptance fully.
According to The Emily Program, an eating disorder treatment center, body positivity is a movement that “promotes equality and acceptance for bodies of all types and sizes.” Some reject this idea because it doesn’t allow space for feeling frustrated or insecure about one's body. However, no one loves their body all the time, so body acceptance declares that “you don’t have to be thrilled with your body every minute, but instead you can figure out how to accept it.”
Beauty is much more nuanced and complex than a number on a scale. Gen X and boomers can truly feel free by letting go of the outdated mindset that dictates what bodies are supposed to look like.
3.‘It’s all downhill after 50’
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The outdated belief that life ends after 50 is quietly ruining the lives of Gen X and boomers. Aging isn't easy to accept, but time comes for us all. Life doesn’t just belong to the young, but Gen X and boomers are still holding onto that outdated belief, and it’s quietly ruining their lives.
Getting older opens doors that people never knew existed. It gives them time to slow down, turn inward, and decide how to spend the next half of their life. Age brings so much more than wisdom. It brings heightened self-awareness and true self-acceptance.
For Gen X and Boomers, getting older is an opportunity. It’s a chance to write a new chapter in their story. The more they embrace aging, the more abundant and exciting their lives will become.
4.‘Your job is your identity’
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Gen X and boomers grew up with the outdated belief that your job was the definitive marker of who you were. They blurred the lines between personal and professional life, much to their detriment. They believed you lived to work instead of working to live.
Boomer and Gen X parents stayed late at the office, missing recitals and family dinners. They took urgent calls from the sidelines of their kids’ soccer games. They clarified where their priorities were, and it wasn’t always their home life.
Now, people are much more aware of how important it is to draw lines and have lives outside their 9-to-5s. Achieving proper balance is the only answer to the outdated idea that making your job your whole personality can make you happy.
5.‘Being busy means you’re successful’
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Gen X and boomers tied the idea of productivity to their self-worth, only for that outdated belief to ruin their lives. They prided themselves on their extreme work ethic. They had a narrow view of success, defining it by how busy they were. The more stressed and exhausted a person was, the more successful they were.
Younger generations are pushing back and expanding what success means. Success can also mean taking time to slow down, putting your energy into activities that nourish you instead of depleting you, and having a slow, easy Sunday without having to answer emails or finish reports. Feeling content is the most accurate measure of success.
6.‘It’s not polite to talk about money’
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Seeing money as a taboo subject is an outdated belief quietly ruining the lives of Gen X and boomers. They believe in the power of the dollar, but they also think that talking about money is impolite. They’re way more involved in financial gatekeeping than younger generations, who believe in radical transparency around salary and other financial discussions.
Keeping money issues a secret only increases how ashamed they feel. Normalizing conversations where we talk about how much money we make and how much things cost decreases stigma and shame and boosts people’s financial literacy and, ultimately, their confidence.
7.‘Divorce is a failure’
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High divorce rates were a definitive marker of Gen X’s latch-key childhood. Their boomer parents got divorced in record numbers. By the time Gen Xers grew up, they saw divorce in a completely negative light. They equated divorce with personal failure, which is not only an outdated belief but also a damaging one.
Gen X believes that staying together is more important than anything else, which is why so many of them haven’t left their marriages, even though they’re unhappy. They have difficulty accepting that some relationships are meant to end, even when they took vows to stay together forever.
Divorce isn’t always a negative thing. The immediate emotional rupture can give way to knowing yourself more deeply. Staying in an unhealthy relationship holds people back from becoming themselves. Once they release the outdated belief that marriage means settling, they can fully step into their authenticity.
8.‘Going to therapy means you’re weak’
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Therapy is a way to learn essential life skills, like self-regulating and healthily processing your emotions, instead of suppressing or exploding. Gen X and boomers believed going to therapy meant you were weak because it was a sign you couldn’t handle your emotions on your own. This outdated belief created a stigma around working on your mental health and asking for the help they needed.
According to Anxiety Support, Gen Z is rebelling against those outdated beliefs. They’re fierce advocates for mental health awareness and speak out against mental health stigmas. They see therapy as a valuable learning tool. Talking about one's feelings is part of being self-reflective and emotionally aware, which Gen Z values above everything.
9.‘Men don’t express emotions’
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Gen X was taught many inaccurate things, like the idea that talking about your feelings makes you weak. The idea that boys don’t cry was a hallmark of the Gen X childhood experience. Gen X boys heard that message everywhere: at home, in school, and on the TV shows they watched. If they cried, their boomer parents told them to toughen up and get over it.
Before long, Gen X boys pushed all their feelings down to a place they couldn’t reach. These boys turned into men who had no idea how to get in touch with their emotions, which impacted their mental health and their marriages.
As psychologist Nick Wignall explained, emotional validation allows people to accept their feelings as they are without harshly judging themselves just for feeling.
“Your emotions are always valid, even if they’re painful or unhelpful,” he revealed. People with high emotional intelligence “identify and acknowledge their feelings. And then remind themselves that it’s okay to feel any kind of feeling — that it doesn’t make them bad or unsafe.”
10.‘Being independent is more important than anything else’
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Boomers and Gen Xers think that independence is the most important personality trait, but that outdated belief is quietly ruining their lives. As much as boomers bought into the myth of rugged individualism, Gen Xers took a DIY approach to life, especially regarding relationships. Their generation was raised on the idea that being vulnerable wasn’t cool, which kept them from accessing their emotions. Gen X wanted to go it alone and prove how tough they were.
No person is an island, which is something younger people understand. Older generations criticize Gen Z for being fragile and easily bruised, labeling them “the strawberry generation” for all their tender feelings.
Being emotionally detached is an outdated belief that’s quietly ruining Gen X and boomer lives. Tuning into one's inner landscape and expressing one's emotions is a better way to move through life. Being emotionally aware is a sign of strength.
11.‘Always forgive family’
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Forgiveness is a choice, not an obligation.
Gen X and boomers maintain the outdated belief that family members should always be forgiven, no matter how deeply they’ve wounded you. Just because you’re related to someone, doesn’t mean you owe them your forgiveness. Accepting an apology is never an obligation, even for your family.
On his podcast, “School of Greatness,” Lewis Howes asked psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula about forgiveness. He wondered, “How do we forgive someone who's hurt us so badly as a narcissist?”
Dr. Ramani gave a harsh, honest answer: When someone says they’re sorry, you don’t have to accept their apology. Accepting an apology isn’t always the correct answer.
Because society puts so much pressure on forgiving, forgetting, and finding peace, people often accept apologies before they’re ready. Dr. Ramani challenged that idea, saying, “I think that people who don't forgive feel peace.”
“I think the people who don't feel peace are the people who forgive and keep getting harmed,” she said. Healing from narcissistic abuse is individuating, becoming autonomous, and ultimately rising into your authentic self. And your authentic self may not forgive.”
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.