You Can Spot A True Narcissist By The Odd Ways They Use Their Pets Against You
Let’s leave our innocent animals out of the narcissistic agenda.
FluxFactory | Canva Pro Narcissists can usually be spotted by their behaviors, views, and actions. They’ll find many ways to manipulate and devalue others, but did you know that they’ll even go as far as to use their pets against you?
One woman on TikTok claimed exactly that and explained just how narcissists will use their pets to negatively impact you.
One ‘narcissist whisperer’ took to TikTok to share the odd ways narcissists try to use their pets to triangulate you.
Farrah, who goes by @thenarcissistwhisperer_, uses her BA in psychology to spread knowledge and awareness of narcissistic habits and behaviors.
“A narcissist can triangulate you with their pets,” she began her video in response to another TikToker’s comment. “All narcissists are codependents, so many of them get pets to feed their codependency.“
To many individuals’ surprise, narcissists do exhibit codependent tendencies. According to Psych Central, narcissists suffer from a lack of connection to their authentic selves and instead revert to an ego-driven “ideal self," highlighting their dependence on others for validation. However, narcissists may not want to reveal their vulnerability to others, so they’ll instead resort to getting a pet.
“Oftentimes, they’ll treat their pets … better than you,” Farrah revealed.
Sadly, narcissists come in all shapes and forms, from romantic partners to parents. And many individuals who know a narcissist with pets firsthand will agree that their pets always come first. While it’s admirable of others to treat their furry friends with such high regard, once you notice a particularly unfair or unhealthy relationship dynamic between someone and their pet as opposed to their significant other or their kids, this signifies narcissistic behavior.
“My mother bought $2000 mini schnauzers while I was homeless and had kids,” one person shared in the comments, exemplifying what this behavior might look like.
Narcissists will find several ways to use their pets against you, which can grow into a larger issue.
“They’ll start speaking to the pet when you are having an argument and saying negative things about you, devaluing you, with the pet,” Farrah added.
While this may seem mostly harmless, pets can sense our emotions and energy. This type of manipulative situation can get particularly concerning when you and a narcissistic partner share a pet, as they’ll intentionally try to pit you and the pet against each other out of their own spite by undoing much of the training you taught them.
“Mine said when talking to our dog, ‘Mom doesn't love you,’ or ‘Mom’s so mean to you, look I'm giving you a treat.’ Like huh? So bizarre!” someone related in the comments.
Narcissists use this manipulative tactic as a way to fuel their inflated egos and seek validation.
“Another manipulation, abusive tactic — they can get the pets to urinate or leave piles of poop near your place of residence,” Farrah said.
In extreme cases, narcissists will intentionally train or enable their pets to do other unwanted behaviors like getting into trash or chewing up personal belongings, demonstrating just how far they’re willing to go to undermine your worth.
“I never thought about this, but it happened to me,” someone shared personally in the comments. “I ended up hating the dog. He undid all my training. I had to get rid of the dog.”
Stay informed and aware of the signs someone you know may be a narcissist.
Oftentimes, despite narcissists’ visibly self-serving and manipulative behavior, some people don’t recognize these toxic behaviors upfront, underscoring the significance of individuals like Farrah spreading awareness of the signs of narcissism so people can better protect themselves.
According to Psychology Today, the reason why narcissists may use their pets to manipulate others lies in their own fear of abandonment. They’ll try to use the pet against you in a myriad of ways, making the pet look bad to make themselves look better or threatening to harm the pet if you express a desire to leave them.
All of these behaviors are abusive to the innocent animals who don’t know better. Be patient with your pets if you have experienced this with a narcissistic co-parent before, and make sure to spread awareness for others who may not realize the harm narcissists are doing to their pets.
Be mindful of how others’ behaviors and actions make you feel. Even in moments of conflict or distress, the right people will exhibit enough emotional maturity to work through the problem with you, rather than make you believe you’re the problem.
Know your worth and keep your distance from those who exhibit any of these concerning traits, especially when they bring pets into their toxic behaviors, as they’re not individuals who will serve your highest purpose.
Abuse can happen to anyone and is not a reflection of who you are or anything you've done wrong. If you feel as though you may be in danger, there is support available 24/7/365 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233. If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 or log onto thehotline.org.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.