Nanny Shares The 5 'Worst Texts' She's Received From Parents
"It’s quite condescending. They think that young girls don’t know any better.”
fizkes / Shutterstock As costs skyrocket, pandemic consequences linger, and parents struggle to find quality care for their kids, childcare has become a highly debated industry.
Despite its importance, babysitters, nannies, and childcare providers alike can’t help but notice they’re often underappreciated. From pay to respect, they struggle to understand why their careers are “less important” than others despite the incredible responsibilities they hold.
As a seasoned babysitter and nanny, Sophia Pagliuca uses her platform to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of caretaking, particularly for those just starting in the industry or looking for advice on how to deal with difficult situations.
Most often, dealing with parents is the hardest part of the job, especially when it comes to people who don’t respect the position. "Y’all think you’ve seen [something] crazy?" she wrote over a video. "Here’s the worst texts that I’ve received as a nanny/babysitter."
Here are the 5 ‘worst texts’ that Pagliuca has received from parents:
1. An inquiry from a family who would provide ‘free housing and gym equipment’ but not fair wages
“This was the era where I’d respond to every message I got,” Pagliuca admitted. “I was shocked at their response.”
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Searching for a few hours of help in the mornings and larger shifts on weekends, the parent proposed their babysitter just move in! Of course, this isn’t completely outrageous to consider, as many people hire live-in nannies for their children, providing housing, basic accommodations, and of course, fair wages.
However, these parents did something radically different — they suggested Pagliuca move into a “secluded room” in their basement, use their gym equipment, and forgo any extra pay.
“It would give you enough time to still have a full-time job but have free rent and gym equipment,” they wrote, but clarified when asked that this 34.5-hour commitment was, in fact, “unpaid.”
2. A parent who suggested an outrageously low hourly pay that was reduced when the kids were sleeping
As many of the other message requests exemplify, Pagliuca has dealt with a ton of parents trying to take advantage of her by offering low wages.
Only willing to pay $10 — $15 less than what she charges — these parents weren’t even coming close to her standard rates. Then they had the audacity to mention they only paid $5 for any hours the children slept.
“They think that young girls/women will be pushovers and that they’ll be ‘okay’ with it,” Pagliuca wrote.
Not only is it demeaning as a person, but it’s demeaning to the industry at large — this is a career for many people, not just something they’re “doing on the side.” Asking for benefits and a fair wage should be the bare minimum for employed people.
3. A woman who refused to call or meet Pagliuca before she arrived to watch her children
“It is truly insane to me the people that don’t even care to meet who they’re leaving their kids with,” Pagliuca wrote. "I felt so unsafe I blocked her."
Experts suggest having pre-arranged meetings with babysitters and nannies before leaving them in your home — not only for the safety of the kids but also for the safety of the sitters.
It helps them to get acquainted with the home, the children, and the parental expectations without pressure, ensuring everyone is comfortable and happy before the parents leave.
4. A mother who was trying to ‘manipulate and exploit’ Pagliuca by paying her less than she’d proposed
The parent sent a long message asking Pagliuca if she’d be interested in watching her six children, starting in a few days, for only $100 a week. Their grandparents, who’d previously been responsible for childcare, were “truly exhausted” and no longer willing to help for free.
“I see you are young so I’m sure that you have much more energy than 70-year-olds,” she wrote, “but I also see that you’re in college — we had a college babysitter that quit unexpectedly on us last year ... we paid her $100 for the week!”
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Not only did they suggest an incredibly underpaid and overwhelming situation for this nanny, but they also tried to suggest that “quick cash” was more important for a college student — an incredibly back-handed and demeaning addition.
5. A parent ‘testing her boundaries’ by offering ‘minimum wage’ and no benefits, despite her clearly defined requirements.
Offering minimum wage and no benefits, despite talking to other friends who have nannies, this mother was clearly testing the nanny's boundaries.
“I genuinely think that she was just being cheap,” she wrote in a comment. “She had to know from other professionals in the industry that those rates were way too low.”
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Yes, childcare is becoming increasingly expensive and often inaccessible, but it’s still a profession, and those working in it deserve to be fairly compensated. It's disrespectful and demeaning for parents to try to manipulate babysitters and nannies into overstepping their boundaries and accepting less compensation than they deserve.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.