10 Moments In A Woman's Life That Change Her Forever
Some moments will be happy and others will be painful, but all of them leave a lasting impact.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock It's the little things that make life meaningful. When we're young, our lives are relatively contained. First, we have our families, who nurture us and give us a foundation to stand on. As the years pass, our lives expand. We start school, we learn about the world around us, we decide what paths we want to follow.
We collect the little things our lives are made of and stitch them together, creating a story of who we are. Of all the moments in a woman's life that change her forever, some will be joyous and some will be painful. Those moments won't last forever, yet every one of them will guide her closer to who she's meant to be.
Here are 10 moments in a woman's life that change her forever
1. Her first close friendship
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A woman's life is changed forever by the first close friend she makes on her own. It doesn't matter whether she meets that friend in kindergarten or in college — the moment she does, her whole life will be different. Finding that friend who gets her, loves her, and accepts her completely is a gift from the universe.
When she's with her first close friend, she doesn't have to pretend to be anyone else but herself. When they're together, they share their own language. They know exactly how to make each other laugh until they're weeping. They acknowledge each other's wounded parts, and the love they have for each other brings them closer to healing, to becoming whole.
A woman's first close friendship might fade with time, but that doesn't make it any less profound. She knows that her life is richer because of the years they spent by each other's side.
2. Getting her heart broken
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Experiencing her first heartbreak is one of the profound moments in a woman's life that change her forever. Heartache is a transformative kind of hardship. In the beginning, moving feels like an impossible task.
A heartbroken woman might feel like her whole sense of self is shattered. She'll trace everything she shared with her ex, searching for a pattern or an explanation or proof that what they shared was real, proof that she's worth loving. She might not know it at the time, but as she splits apart, she's on her way to discovering new versions of herself.
"When your heart breaks, it breaks open to hold more love," dating coaches Orna and Matthew Walters revealed. They acknowledged that "the feelings of grief and loss can be overwhelming," which is why it's so important to feel every feeling, without judgment or shame.
"Learning how to heal a broken heart may be one of the toughest of growing pains that you'll experience but you can use the time to create a new relationship with yourself," they shared.
Healing a broken heart is something that can't be rushed. Despair is part of the process, but so is overcoming that specific kind of sorrow. The only way out is through, as the saying goes, and once a woman is on the other side, looking back at who she once was, she'll realize how far she's come.
3. Feeling inspired by her favorite teacher
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There's one specific moment in a woman's life that changes her forever: feeling inspired by her favorite teacher. It's a moment that reveals all the world's possibilities, making her realize how much there is to discover.
She might not be a straight A student, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that she's learning, and it makes her feel hopeful.
The magic of this moment is that it can happen when she least expects it. It can happen when her English teacher assigns a book that touches her soul, helping her see that she's not alone. It can happen when her art teacher shows her how to make pottery. It can even happen during a class she can't stand, when an algebra problem brings her to tears, and her teacher is patient and kind, because they believe that she can get it.
Her teacher sees something in her that she doesn't know about herself yet, and it lights the spark inside her.
4. Realizing her own strength
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A woman doesn't always know her true capacity, but the moment she realizes how strong she really is changes her forever. According to life coach Heather Moulder, inner strength is "a combination of mental resilience (and toughness), emotional intelligence, and self-discipline."
"Inner strength is inside your soul — and part of who you are," she revealed. "If you want to find your inner strength, you must know who you are and what gives you purpose and meaning. Facing your fears and starting to move beyond them will give you courage and faith in yourself, and that's what inner strength is all about."
If a woman keeps going even when she wants to give up, that's strength. If she lets herself be vulnerable and share herself with others, that's strength. Every time she does hard things, she learns, once again, how capable she really is. She learns to believe in herself, over and over, and that's what she carries with her.
"Finding and cultivating your inner strength is critical to your emotional well-being," Moulder concluded. "It will guide you through life's twists and turns... All you need is to shine a light on it and nurture it."
5. Discovering what she's passionate about
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It might not happen until later in her life, but discovering what she's passionate about is one of the moments in a woman's life that change her forever. Some women locate their passion from their professions, and they spend their lives nurturing and growing their careers. Other women find their passions outside of the workplace: from their families, their hobbies, their spiritual practices.
As valuable as it is for women to learn what they're passionate about, they shouldn't expect it to be easy or arrive out of thin air. According to Stanford University psychologists Carol Dweck and Gregory Walton, it's not so much about finding your passion, as it's about developing your passion.
"If you look at something and think, 'that seems interesting, that could be an area I could make a contribution in,' you then invest yourself in it," said Walton. "You take some time to do it, you encounter challenges, over time you build that commitment."
Dweck shared that as her students realize that passion takes effort, "come to understand that that's how they and their futures will be shaped and how they will ultimately make their contributions."
Passions aren't just discovered, they're cultivated, and they keep evolving as time goes on.
6. Learning that her parents aren't perfect
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The moment when a woman realizes her parents aren't perfect changes her forever. It's as though a veil has been lifted, and she sees her parents for who they truly are: human beings, who are flawed like the rest of us, doing their best with the tools they have.
"Parents inevitably let down their children, fail to be present, or fail to adequately meet their needs," psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff explained. "This can feel so crushing because children are confronted with the jarring discrepancy between the fantasy parent they've created and the imperfect version of them that exists in reality."
She shared that overcoming this specific kind of sorrow involves taking an active role in your own healing. "Wounds that were made in relationships must often be healed in the context of relationships," she explained. "This means practicing accepting not only the flaws in your parents, but also the imperfections of other important people in your life — your partner, children, and friends."
As hard as it feels at the moment, accepting people for who they are is ultimately a liberating experience, one that allows us to connect with our loved ones and ourselves on a deeper level.
7. Traveling alone
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Having the opportunity is a luxury, traveling alone even more so, which is why it changes a woman's life forever. It doesn't matter if she's in Barcelona or Kalamazoo, taking a trip on her own teaches her who she really is.
As she navigates places she's never been to before, she learns how capable she is. She learns what she likes and what she doesn't. She learns that she can take care of herself.
Even when it makes her feel lonely, traveling alone offers a woman insight into the deepest parts of herself. Her own needs are the only ones for her to tend to. She gets to decide how she spends every minute of her day, which isn't something she's afforded in the rest of her life.
There's no one to distract her from her inner monologue. She's forced to reckon with her identity, which isn't easy, but it's entirely worthwhile.
8. Losing someone she loves
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One of the definitive moments in a woman's life that change her forever is losing someone she loves. Grief is the ultimate adjustment. One day, the person she loves exists in the same world she lives in, and then, they're gone. There's never enough time to revel in their presence. There are never enough words to express how much she loves them.
"For many losses, the pain doesn't ever totally go away, but the way you carry it makes all the difference in the world," psychotherapist Dr. Zoe Shaw explained. "You will carry a part of your loss as a badge. Life hit you hard and you got through it. But it must be a badge, not a burden or your identity."
"There is no timetable for grief to end," she shared. "There is still plenty of life out there for you to grab. You will get there too."
There is a distinct before and after: before, when the person you loved was still here, and after, when you spend the rest of your life missing them. Grief changes you. Grief changes itself. Loss isn't a static experience. It's always shifting, and you relearn who you are as you move through it.
9. Learning to love herself
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As a woman makes the journey through her own life, learning to love herself changes her forever. Loving herself means being gentle with herself. It means challenging her inner critic, the one who tells her she's not good enough. Loving herself makes her feel whole, because she's found all the validation she needs within herself.
According to experts from the mental health organization Inclusive Therapists, "Embracing our true selves allows for greater self-acceptance."
They explained, "In a world that often emphasizes perfection and external validation, women must cultivate a deep sense of self-love. When we practice self-love, we recognize and appreciate our unique qualities, strengths, and imperfections."
"Self-love is not a selfish act; it is a transformative practice that enhances women's mental health, self-worth, and overall well-being," they concluded.
It might take a woman an actual lifetime to get to a place of true self-love, but she's absolutely worth the wait.
10. Facing failure
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At some point in her life, a woman will stumble and fall. She will fail at something she cares about, and that experience will change her forever. If lets her mistakes define her, she'll lose her way completely, but if she puts in the work to learn from her failures, she'll come out the other side a much stronger person.
According to psychologist Atara Wertentheil, setbacks are inevitable, but how you deal with them is your decision.
"A mistake will often feel like a failure, and many people have an instinct to shy away from that by ignoring the mistake or taking desperate measures to fix it," she explained. "When you admit to yourself and others that a mistake has been made, you can begin to learn from it."
Sitting with your mistakes might not be comfortable, but taking time to reflect on what you did wrong is one of the moments in a woman's life that change her forever.
As Wertentheil revealed, "A mistake is a learning experience only if you gain the insight you need to not make the same mistake again."
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.