Mom With Unemployed Husband Is 'Drowning In Debt' And Says She's In Her 'Mom Burnout Era'
“I don’t know how I will ever get out from under this.”
Hispanolistic / Canva Pro With nearly 75% of middle-class American families “falling behind” on basic expenses and the cost of living, it’s no surprise that more and more people are grappling with their futures.
However, as many families can attest, sacrifice does not make things easier. They’re struggling.
One mother on Reddit is exhausted and overwhelmed by this sad reality. She is searching for advice on the “Parenting” forum to figure out how to move forward without “breaking mentally” under the burden of her family responsibilities, financial status, and strained relationship.
The woman said she’s in her ‘mom burnout era’ working full-time and still unable to afford basic expenses for her family.
As a 37-year-old mother, the woman shared that her life is far from what she’d anticipated it would be at this stage. Her 2-year-old daughter yearns for her attention, her marriage is struggling, and she’s working 12-hour days to support the family.
“I am the sole income for our family and it’s already not enough,” she wrote. “We made a choice when I was pregnant that my husband would stay home to save on childcare … now we are in terrible debt.”
Although her husband has been searching for a remote job to make money while caring for their child, he’s been unsuccessful in finding any kind of work. The increase in the costs of living, their loans, and basic payments has made it almost impossible to get ahead. “We make less than what we need.”
Her husband stays home with their young daughter and has recently tried looking for remote work but hasn’t been successful.
Studies show that remote jobs are in greater demand than ever, with almost 95% of employees suggesting they’d prefer some kind of hybrid situation. With this growing interest and demand, many overqualified people are applying for remote jobs for a sense of flexibility in their lives. This leaves little opportunity for entry-level or less qualified applicants.
Photo: Konstantin Postumitenko / Canva Pro
Without the potential for extra income from her husband, she’s considered picking up another evening job but is hesitant to sacrifice the little personal time she has now. The two hours at night she spends with her husband and daughter already feel insufficient as she tries to maintain healthy relationships with both of them.
“I’ve been going through depression lately because I’m not getting enough time with my daughter. I miss her and feel like a terrible mother — I don’t have a choice.”
'Drowning in debt,’ she’s considered getting another job. However, she already feels like a ‘bad mom’ for not being home a lot.
With harsh and misguided regulations on public financial assistance, this mom said she’s struggling in silence. “I make just enough that I can’t be considered for assistance … it’s wild. I have no idea how I’m going to survive this.”
As many families are forced to deal with when struggling financially, the overwhelming burden of everything happening “all at once” can make it difficult to plan for the future. Which bill should be paid first? What is worth sacrificing, and what isn’t? What support is worth spending time on? Will it actually help?
It’s these questions and more that can leave many parents and families completely isolated from the support they need. Alongside the financial burdens, many also face the emotional struggles highlighted by this mom. How can you show up for a family when you can’t be there for yourself?
She’s searching for advice on how to help her family get back on their feet.
She confessed, “I can’t even afford to give [my daughter] a decent birthday party because of the cost of everything. I’ve maxed out my company-paid therapy and can’t afford to continue going on my own.”
Commenters empathized with the mom, as she’s clearly overwhelmed by all the responsibilities she’s carrying. “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this,” one wrote. “My family made the choice to move south, where things are more affordable. That could be an option for you.”
At the end of the day, most people urged the overwhelmed mom to take care of herself first because her depression and anxiety weren’t going to help her navigate through this situation. One commenter put it succinctly, “Sit down with the numbers … make everything very clear. Work with your husband and other supportive loved ones and get honest about what needs to happen.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango, focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.