Mom Thinks Her First Grader’s Teacher ‘Has It Out For Him’ After He’s Suspended For Bad Language
“That’s not a school problem — that’s a parent problem.”
Reshetnikov_art / Shutterstock A mom’s TikTok expressing her frustration with her child’s school following his suspension is circulating online, highlighting a recurring conflict between many parents and teachers regarding their kids’ behavioral disruptions.
After her child was suspended for engaging in inappropriate language, the mom instantly blamed his teachers and principal for targeting him.
The mom, Melissa Smith, shared the video, which she recently took down, complaining about the fights she’s having with her kids’ teachers and principal.
“Anyone else fighting with vice principals and teachers today, or is it just me?” Smith began the video. “And we’re not fighting; we’re just having minor disagreements.”
She explained that she recently received notifications from her kids’ school communication app, which informed her that her first grader was sent to in-school suspension (ISS) for using bad language against another classmate, and her third grader was also flagged for writing inappropriate comments on a school computer.
“I swear, my first grader’s teacher has it out for him,” she assumed.
In disbelief that her children misbehaved, Smith said she wrote back to the school asking if an adult witnessed them using inappropriate language. Rather than approaching the situation with maturity and confronting her kids about the issues directly, Smith’s initial reaction was to blame the teachers.
While she likely intended to seek out other parents similarly frustrated with their kids’ school, many individuals have responded to Smith’s video expressing a different issue entirely — that parents would rather "fight" with their children’s teachers than work together to find a solution.
TikTokers have reacted to Smith’s video, calling her out for her unfairness in blaming teachers for her own kids’ misbehavior.
One individual, Rick Barrera, identified this common topic of conflict between parents and teachers. When school staff issues a student consequences or disciplinary action for their misdemeanors in class, many parents struggle to accept that their child is acting out. Instead, they believe the problem is within the school, but this mentality can escalate into a larger accountability issue as these kids grow older.
“Teachers don’t have enough time in their day to ‘have it out’ for your child,” Barrera asserted. “You should be working with your child’s teacher instead of against your child’s teacher.”
He argued that rather than doubting staff’s discernment of misbehavior, parents should be confronting their kids and getting to the root of their disorderly conduct.
While there are surely exceptions to this, more often than not, teachers are genuinely doing their best to maintain peace and stability in their classrooms to provide an optimal learning experience for all of their students.
In reality, it is a teacher’s job to want the best for each of their students and ensure they receive an adequate education and learning experience.
A mom and third-grade teacher who goes by @talesfromthirdgrade on TikTok also made the valid point that Smith’s kids acting out in school for nearly identical reasons likely has nothing to do with their school attempting to antagonize their family.
“Both of your children are using inappropriate words at school,” she said. “One is typing it, and one is speaking it. Maybe it’s a home problem. Maybe it’s a way-that-they’re-being-raised problem.”
Of course, no parent enjoys learning that their children are misbehaving in school. When both of their children are acting out, it points to a problem a problem within their own parenting — even if they don't want to admit it.
But for many parents, the weight of this implied failure can feel too heavy to bear, so they project that blame onto their children’s school, condemning the teachers and staff involved.
The truth of the matter is that neither the parent nor the school or even the child should be blamed, but all parties involved should commit to working together and embracing this challenge — using it as an opportunity for their child to learn and grow. After all, every mistake one makes in life represents a learning experience.
But, when parents enable their children’s misbehavior, they are stripping them of the valuable chance to learn from their missteps.
It is a parent’s job to help their children learn and grow from their mistakes.
Rather than handling the situation maturely and taking accountability for her kids’ actions, it is evident that Smith reacted defensively. This is because she refused to believe that somehow, her parenting fell short.
Kids act out. They misbehave from time to time, but the way a parent chooses to respond to their child’s misbehavior significantly impacts the trajectory of that child’s improvement and growth. When a parent chooses to take offense to their children’s school notifying them of their kids’ misconduct, what they don’t realize is that they are enabling their kids’ behavior. This enablement can then lead to larger, more serious behavioral issues in the future.
It’s crucial that parents have open minds and embrace a healthy line of communication with their children’s school when faced with challenges.
As Key Poulan, IV, an elementary school teacher, pointed out in his TikTok response to Smith’s video, children need “the space to make mistakes” so they can learn from them. He emphasized that regardless of how behaved a child is, when they make a mistake, they need to understand that there are consequences. This is what teaches them accountability and responsibility.
There is nothing to gain from refusing to believe your child is capable of making a mistake. All this will do is hinder that child’s ability to learn, grow, and evolve. Parents should instead lead by example by taking accountability and helping their children cultivate this real-world skill.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.