Mom Texts Another Mom A List Of Her ‘Questionable & Inappropriate’ Decisions After She Hosted Her Teenage Daughter For A Sleepover
There's helicopter moms and then there's this woman.
fizkes | Shutterstock After a mother allowed her 15-year-old daughter to have a sleepover with a few of her friends, she received an angry text message from one of the girl’s mothers the following day. Apparently, typical teenage girl sleepover antics were not appropriate in this mom's eyes.
According to the friend’s mom, she had a problem with everything from junk food to staying up late, and she was not pleased. However, the woman claimed that the complaining mom did not make her aware of any restrictions she had for her daughter beforehand.
The mom listed off the ‘questionable and inappropriate’ decisions she was accused of making while hosting a sleepover for her daughter's friends.
The mom who hosted the sleepover took to Reddit to get others’ opinions on the situation. She explained that she recently hosted a sleepover at her house for her 15-year-old daughter and a few of her friends. The girls swam in the pool, ate dinner and snacks, and watched a movie before going to bed.
“From what I observed, the girls had a lot of fun together and were all very respectful of each other, my husband, and I,” the mom wrote. “Most of the girls’ parents thanked me and my husband for hosting and said positive things, but one texted me a list of all the things I did wrong.”
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The mom went through the list of complaints the friend's mother texted her, and they were far from scandalous.
The mother told the woman that she disapproved of her choice of allowing the girls to swim in the pool. However, the woman claims that she got pre-approval from all of the parents. “When the sleepover invites were sent out via text message, I asked the moms if they were okay with their girls going swimming. All of them said ‘yes’ or ‘that’s okay with me’ except for the complaining mom, who simply liked my text. I assumed this meant yes,” the woman shared. She added that all of the girls knew how to swim, and she would have never allowed them in the pool if just one of them didn’t.
“The mom’s second issue was the food the girls ate, which she deemed unhealthy,” the woman wrote. While she admitted that she did allow the girls to eat junk food, she believed that it was okay since they were at a sleepover and had the right to indulge with their friends.
The mom also complained about the girls’ movie choice. “Since some of the girls are 14 and others are 15, we told them no R rated movies, but other than that it was up to them. They ended up choosing "The Fault In Our Stars," which the complainer deemed inappropriate,” the woman wrote ("The Fault in our Stars" is rated PG-13 for anyone curious).
Her final complaint was the time the girls ended up going to bed, which was far too late for her liking. “However, both my husband and I do think that sleepovers are a time when it’s okay to stay up late, provided the kids let the parents sleep (which my daughter and her friends did),” the woman wrote. “Additionally, the girls woke up at 8:30, meaning they got about 8 1/2 hours of sleep.”
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The mom responded to the friend's mom with kindness and patience.
“Please tell your daughter thanks for coming! She was a pleasure to host. I understand your concerns, but considering that you never communicated your expectations or rules, I don’t think it’s fair to place the blame on me. If we ever do things like this in the future, please make sure to let me know of any restrictions ahead of time,” the mom replied.
However, the response appeared to make the other mom even angrier, telling her that it was her fault for not checking with her beforehand. The woman asked others if she should have taken accountability and apologized.
Most people believed that the mom’s choices were certainly age-appropriate for 15-year-olds.
“Your apology to her was completely unnecessary. They weren't [doing drugs] and kicking puppies. They had a normal sleep over with supervised and well considered activities,” one Redditor commented.
“Nothing you did is out of line for a swim/slumber party for 14 and 15-year-olds. If this mom insists on her rules, other girls may choose to leave her daughter out of slumber parties,” another user wrote.
“When I had sleepovers at my house, my mom would buy a [expletive] ton of McDonald's breakfast for everyone the next day. It was a treat,” another shared.
Others noted that the unhappy mom was in for a rude awakening as her daughter grew older and started pushing her boundaries.
“She is in for it when her daughter turns 18 and goes to university. More often than not the young people who went hog wild had been raised by helicopter parents who monitored their diet, social media and every other aspect of their lives. University life was their first real taste of freedom and they embraced it with gusto,” one user pointed out.
“I’m not sure what that woman’s problem is but I feel very sorry for her daughter. It sounds like a great sleepover with good activities and proper boundaries (you even thought of the movie rating). Staying up late at a sleepover is normal! Eating fun foods at a sleepover is normal! Your response was great and if that mother continues this way, her daughter will be socially isolated by her sourpuss attitude,” another wrote.
Sadly, research has found that helicopter parenting can indeed have negative impacts on the health and well-being of teens. In fact, a 2011 study found that kids raised by helicopter parents were more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and mental health disorders related to a lack of learned independence. Additionally, the research indicated that these kids were more likely to abuse pain medication to counter feelings of anxiety and distress than their peers.
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Even though most parents do not allow their kids to eat junk food, watch mature movies, and stay up late every day, sleepovers are a special occasion.
As adults, some of our best memories were the sleepovers we had with our friends when we were younger, staying up late, giggling with them, and shoving our faces with candy. Part of the fun of a sleepover was getting to do all of the things we wouldn’t be able to do once we got home!
Kids need and should be able to cut loose and have fun in a safe environment without unneeded restrictions. These teens were safe and well cared for. The fact that her daughter had a great time should have brought the friend's mom joy.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.