Mom Rescinds Offer To Pay For Half Of Her Daughter’s Wedding Dress After Learning It Will Be Pink
Why would anyone be this invested in what someone else wears?
O_Lypa | Shutterstock There's a lot of talk nowadays about how big, classic weddings are basically going extinct, and of course, economic forces are the chief reason why. But it's hard not to wonder if there's another factor at play: family drama.
Nothing seems to bring out the worst in our family members quite like planning a wedding, and a bride's recent post on Reddit is a perfect example of how utterly ridiculous these situations can become.
The bride's mom rescinded her offer to pay for half of the wedding dress because it's pink.
Right off the bat, I have one question: Why on Earth would anyone ever care THIS much about someone ELSE'S clothes? If you don't like pink, you can just … not wear pink! This is weird! You're being weird!
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But of course, many moms are so overbearing they can't help but seize the moment of their child's wedding to try to throw their weight around, and that seems to be the case for this bride. After previously agreeing to split the cost of her dress 50/50, her mom is now refusing to help unless she changes her taste.
The bride has always dreamt of having a pink wedding dress, but her mom insists it's embarrassing.
"For the longest time (since teens perhaps), I have had my heart set on a pink wedding gown," the bride wrote in her post. She and her fiancé are getting married in May, so arrangements have begun in earnest. When she found the pink dress of her dreams, she was overjoyed.
"My mom and I got into a serious argument about it," the bride said of the dress. "She said that it would be childish and embarrassing of me to get married in a gown that color and she doesn't want me to regret in the future looking back at my photos."
Perhaps, but it's not your wedding, Mom. Don't worry about it! That's basically what she told her mother in so many words. "I argued that there was nothing embarrassing about wearing a color I like on MY special day," she said, adding that her fiancé was on her side, too. But her mother was unmoved.
Her mom has kicked up such a ruckus about the dress that the bride is considering relenting.
Initially, everyone was on the bride's side, but after her mother's outsized reaction, her father is now turning on her. "He is starting to side with Mom seeing how upset she is getting over this," the bride wrote. Which, for the record, is a classic manipulation pattern that those of you with manipulative parents will instantly recognize.
Her brother finally intervened and said he'd help her pay for the dress if their mom was going to be this ridiculous about it. He also told their parents that "they might end up being the ones regretting this whole drama more than me" down the road, which is absolutely true.
Still, there's no getting through to them, and now the bride is not only wondering whether she is actually in the wrong but considering scrapping the wedding dress she's wanted for essentially her whole life — another classic pattern in families with manipulative parents.
Redditors told the bride to stick to her guns because it's none of her mother's business in the end.
One commenter put it bluntly and perfectly: "There is precisely one person causing drama here, and frankly, it's ridiculous that you think it might be you," they wrote. That one person is her mom, who is totally out of line.
Ultimately, it's not her mother's wedding. Everyone's entitled to their opinions, but handling them this way is cruel, manipulative, and entirely inappropriate. Her mother is behaving like a petulant child, which isn't exactly surprising, as many children of boomers and some older Gen Xers will tell you.
Therapists say that among the key ways to manage an overbearing mother like this are setting boundaries and knowing when to walk away from a conflict. This is a perfect example of when to put those tactics into action.
Especially since her brother has offered to cover the mom's half of the dress, what this bride should do is very simple: Take him up on it, get the dress she wants, and if her mom hates it, let her. She's entitled to do so.
But she's NOT entitled to force her daughter to change her lifelong wedding dream. Part of being a parent to an adult child is letting go of your own demands and wishes and, perhaps most especially, stopping living vicariously through your kids.
You already had your wedding, Mom. It's time to go sit down in the pews where you belong. And maybe grow up a bit once the wedding's over.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.