Mom Asks If She Selfish For Making Her Kids Share A Room So She Can Have An Office Space For Herself
She can’t help but feel guilty even though she needs the space.
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock.com With two young daughters and minimal space in her home, a mom turned to Reddit to ask if her decision to convert her youngest child's bedroom into an office and make the girls share space was selfish.
“I have two girls, 8 and 2. They’re obsessed with each other and both sleep like logs,” she wrote. “I know — I’m blessed. My [oldest] said she wants to share a room with the little one.”
Despite basically getting the green light from her daughter to convert the bedroom into an office, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. “I’ve been working all around the house depending on availability. I’m desperate for a space for myself.”
A mom worried it was selfish to make her two kids sleep in the same room so she could have an office.
“I’m feeling some guilt about building myself an office in which is now the toddler’s room,” she wrote. “So, what do you think, parents? Will I regret this in 6 months?”
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While she’s constantly thinking about it, right alongside the absurd prices of outsourcing an office space, parents in the comments urged her to take a step back.
“It’s reversible. Don’t sweat easily reversible decisions,” one user wrote. Many also advised her to consider the ways in which learning to share space and celebrate closeness with your family could help the sisters secure a bond into adulthood.
Despite knowing her two daughters are ‘obsessed’ with each other, the mom harbored guilt over even considering taking one of their rooms.
While there might be some friction as the girls adapt to their new arrangements, most agreed that the mom was overthinking the move.
One commenter put it simply, “There’s nothing selfish about this at all. We have created this ‘need’ for obscene amounts of living space… when the preteen years hit, that’s a future hurdle to figure out.”
Allowing your children to share space shouldn’t be a guilt-ridden choice but rather a luxury. Parents should celebrate giving their kids the opportunity to bond and grow their relationships while they are young. Whether you have the space or not, siblings sharing a room is not a good parenting versus bad parenting decision.
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“Even as adults, we don’t have our own rooms — we share with our spouse. All around the world, there are multiple children per room,” another person wrote, acknowledging the benefits of sharing space.
“Only here do we have this weird idea that every child needs their individual aesthetic bedrooms…Talk about creating an ego.”
Siblings sharing a bedroom is not only common but also, in many cases, healthy for kids.
Understandably, teenagers might not be keen on the concept of bedroom sharing, but especially for younger siblings, sharing a room can often be a healthy way to teach them essential skills. From social awareness to problem-solving and bonding, not only is it convenient for parents, but it’s also impactful for kids to share a space.
Especially for this Reddit mom’s daughters, who are only 8 and 2 years old, commenters reassured her that there would likely be little to no conflict — outside of some arguments and occasional complaining. “This probably won’t last forever,” one wrote, “but try it out while they’re still young… It’s healthy for them.”
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Over 70% of families in the United States admit they have two or more of their children sharing a bedroom, although most of them would give their kids their own spaces if they have the freedom to do so. Despite wishing for more space, there’s more benefits to having them share — from the social impacts above, to growing their relationships, to improving the duration of their sleep.
Kids sharing bedrooms sleep 30 minutes longer than those in separate spaces — on average, about 3.5 more hours a week.
So, not only can you rest assured knowing that your children are both bonding and sleeping just a little bit longer — you can utilize the extra space in your home for things that boost everyone’s mood.
For this woman, that means creating a home office that allows her to establish a distinct work-life boundary that’s sure to bring balance to their entire family’s dynamic.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories