Mom Asks If It's Wrong For Her To Hide From Her Kids Who Won't Leave Her Alone
She's surely not the only mom with a secret hiding spot.
Keira Burton / CanvaPro Parenting is the most demanding, scary, and anxiety-inducing full-time job in the world — and it’s also the most beautiful. The stakes are high, but so are your motivators. You only want the best for your kids and are willing to sacrifice more than the average person would for a typical 9 to 5.
With its incredible demand, impossibly high standards, and outrageous hours, this job often becomes a parent’s entire identity. Stripping away any sense of individuality and straining intimate partnerships, many parents lose sight of who they truly are, outside of their children.
In fact, Motherly studies from 2020 show that over 71% of mothers, specifically, feel their identity is most “strongly defined” by their motherhood. That percentage increases significantly — to over 87% — for stay-at-home moms.
So, who can blame them for wanting to steal a few minutes here and there to grasp their identity outside of parenthood? Believe it or not, parents are people first, and their individuality, desires, goals, and sanity are just as important as everyone else’s.
One mom admitted to hiding from her kids when they won’t leave her alone.
As a mother to two young children, a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old, one Reddit poster is no stranger to the overwhelming nature of parenthood. Hoping to get a few moments to herself, whether that be to relax, zone out, or eat a few of her kid’s favorite snacks, she confessed she occasionally “hides” from her young kids.
Photo: DenisProduction.com / Shutterstock
“My 3-year-old daughter, especially, is always looking for me, she just wants my attention non-stop," the woman wrote in her post. "I eventually went to her room to take a break, because surprisingly it’s the only place where she won’t come to look for me.”
An adult version of “hide-and-seek” has become this mom’s new escape from parenthood. Of course, she admitted it only lasts for a few moments, before she’s forced to return to reality. However, the small escape gave her an avenue to have a much-needed moment to herself.
With her husband on vacation, the mom admitted she’s ‘exhausted’ from working a full-time job, interviewing for a new one, and taking care of her kids.
Her husband is usually the "default parent," but with him on vacation, the woman is tired and struggling. “My husband's been gone for 10 days (visiting his parents in another country and having a break),” the mom wrote. “I’ve attended several interviews this week… while working full-time and taking care of both kids. It’s been hard.”
Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
She's far from the only mother to struggle, especially when there's no one around to help. In fact, recent Pew Research revealed that even in two-parent households, it can be relatively impossible to work full-time and care for children.
More than half of working parents admit that balancing work and family responsibilities “is difficult,” with many working mothers taking the brunt of that burden. “Working mothers are somewhat more likely than fathers to say it’s difficult for them to balance work and family,” they admitted. “One in five [full-time] working mothers say balancing the two is very difficult for them.”
Many found this mother's plight to be extremely relatable.
From her hiding spot, the mother could hear that her daughter looked for her for a minute, before joining her brother watching TV. “They’ve been playing nicely and laughing. I can hear everything they do including the videos they’re watching. Is this very bad?” she asked Redditors.
Other mothers, parents, and even children who’ve learned their parents did this decades ago, swarmed to this woman’s comment section. Supporting and validating her experience, they reminded her to give herself grace, and that she deserves rest, even if it’s just for a few minutes in the middle of the day.
“I only have one kid, and I hide from him all the time,” one commenter wrote. “If you haven't hid in the pantry from your kid at least once, eating candy you don't want to share, I truly don't know how you live.”
"It’s totally ok to need a break and take it when your kids are cared for and safe," another user wrote. "It’s also ok to start teaching your daughter that sometimes mom (or dad) need breaks, and they need to entertain themselves for a bit. Life skills!"
"I wonder how many mums/dads are hiding right now somewhere in their houses, hoping for a few moments of calm," a third user contemplated. "Your children are safe and sound you can hear them from your hiding place. Take some deep breaths… Big hugs, from one hiding mama to another."
The next time you feel overstimulated, overwhelmed, or even just hungry, but can’t escape your kids, don’t feel guilty leaving them preoccupied in another room before sneaking away.
Find your dedicated hiding spot, bring some ice cream, and relax for a few moments — as long as your children are safe, nobody is judging you. In fact, people are celebrating you, because you deserve a break.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture and human interest stories.