Mom Feels Forced To Tell Another Mom Her Daughter Is 'Weird' After She Demands To Know Why Their Kids Don't Hang Out Anymore
She wondered if she was wrong for what she said.
Olena Yakobchuk | Shutterstock Playground politics can be tough for kids to handle, especially if they’re the new kid.
After moving to a new state, one mom found herself playing the role of mediator after her daughter had a conflict with another kid.
The mom felt forced to tell another mom that her daughter was ‘weird’ after she demanded to know why their kids weren’t hanging out.
She told her story on the r/AITA Reddit thread, explaining that their recent move has been hard on her oldest daughter, Katty, who’s in the 6th grade. The mom introduced herself on the school district’s Facebook page and later got a message from a parent asking for their daughters to meet up.
“They would be in the same grade, and I thought it would be a good opportunity,” the mom said, so they went to the local pool together.
YanLev Alexey | Shutterstock
“I met Melanie, and she wouldn’t make eye contact, was very soft-spoken and overall didn’t seem to be paying attention,” the mom said. “The kids were playing while I talked to the mom. She has always been in the area and was excited her kid was getting a friend.”
Katty told her mom she wasn’t feeling well, so they left early.
“In the car, she admitted to just wanting to get away from Melanie,” the mom said. “She explained that Melanie freaked her out.”
“She was very touchy, kept pushing her in the water, was whispering, saying things under her breath, would stare at people and make comments, comparing people to bugs,” the mom said, noting, “I am still confused on what that means.”
Gladskikh Tatiana | Shutterstock
“Katty told me she was uncomfortable and doesn’t want to hang out with her again,” the mom said.
It seemed that was the end of their brief attempt at friendship, except that Melanie’s mom messaged Katty’s mom to ask when the girls could get together again.
“I told her the girls didn’t mesh well and that we will have to decline,” the mom said, leaning on being slightly vague yet polite. “She then called me, asking what I meant. I told her that Katty wasn’t interested in hanging out since they don’t mesh together.”
“This went on for a while, and she told me that the kids just needed to be around each other more. I told her no to that,” the mom explained. “It went on for a while; she asked to talk to my husband, which is when I snapped.”
‘I told her no and that I was trying to be polite, but your kid is weird,’ the mom said.
She revealed that the other mom posted to Facebook “about how the new family are jerks,” which made her wonder if she’d acted in the wrong.
The people in the comments section mostly supported the mom in setting boundaries and prioritizing her daughter’s needs.
“You respected your daughter's wishes and defended her,” one person said. “A child should not be forced to play with someone she doesn't like.”
Other people noted that the other mom didn’t respect the boundary she’d set and tried to go above her head by asking to talk to her husband.
Middle school is a difficult time for kids and friends. This is mostly because maturity levels vary wildly during the tween years, and that certainly seems to be the case here. In fact, a study from 2018 found that only 27% of kids keep the same best friend after transitioning to middle school.
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock
Some people believed the mom was right to refuse another playdate but could have been more gentle in her approach.
As one person noted, calling the other girl weird “is an attack,” whereas saying, “Your kid’s behavior makes my kid uncomfortable, and I’m not forcing her to be around someone that makes her uncomfortable,” would have advocated for her needs without resorting to insults.
“We're still talking about a child, and calling people names isn't cool,” someone else said.
The underlying themes of the interaction were really centered around boundaries. Melanie crossed Katty’s boundaries in a way that made her uncomfortable, and then, Melanie’s mom tried to trample over the boundaries Katty’s mom set.
No parent can force their kid to be friends with someone they don’t want to be friends with, which in itself, is a clear-cut boundary that should be respected.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.