Mom Seeks Advice After She Is Denied Time Off On Her Son's First Birthday Despite Finding Coverage
Employees are replaceable. Moms are not.
El Nariz | Shutterstock A child's first birthday is a major milestone for parents. Unfortunately, sometimes life can get in the way, especially when that birthday falls on a workday. That's what happened to working mom Tabatha. To celebrate her son’s very first birthday, she decided to take off from work. However, even with coverage for her shift, her boss denied her time off request.
She took to TikTok to ask other parents how they would handle the situation, and moms unanimously agreed that she was in the right and that there was no reason for her PTO to be denied.
The woman’s time off-request on her son’s birthday was denied, despite her getting coverage.
According to Tabatha, she requested time off from work on her son’s first birthday so that she could celebrate with him. Seems like a pretty innocuous ask, considering it was only one day, and it was certainly an important celebration.
She even went a step beyond what she was supposed to do and got coverage for her shift that particular day. However, Tabatha said that her boss still denied her request, keeping her on the schedule for her son’s birthday. Considering 33% of Americans think parents do too much nowadays when it comes to kids' birthdays, according to a YouGov survey, the denial isn't really surprising, although it is disheartening.
Tabatha asked other working parents what they would do if faced with a similar situation at work. And while most parents agreed that she deserved her day off, their solutions varied.
Most people believed that despite her boss’ denial of her time off request, the mom should still find a way to take off.
“Call in sick. No job is worth skipping anything for your kids,” one TikTok user commented.“Quit. You are not replaceable at home,” another user suggested.
Others reassured the mom that she had done everything correctly regarding her time off and that her boss was at fault.“Don’t go in, and I’m in HR! You found coverage, there’s no valid reason you can’t have the day off,” one user noted.
Another simply stated, "Your mental health, your life, your children’s lives and wellbeing’s are more important than a job. Jobs are replaceable, these moments are not."
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However, some people believed that the mom still had an obligation to go to work, even if it was her son’s first birthday.
“Your baby doesn’t know it’s his birthday. Don’t stress momma. Celebrate when you’re off,” one TikTok user commented.“He doesn't know what day it is... taking care of your family is important and unfortunately a job is one of those things. I personally would go to work and celebrate later in the day,” another user wrote.
Regardless of whether or not your children will remember if you worked on their birthday, it is time for management to understand that a time-off request is not so much of a request, but rather a formality.
If an employee hasn't exceeded their paid time off and provides sufficient notice for a day off, they should not be expected to work on that day. Requesting time off is more like giving your boss a reminder to prepare for your absence.
Parents missing some of their children’s milestones due to work is not uncommon. According to a survey conducted by Ladders, 38% of working parents have reported missing at least one of their children’s big events over the past year. Even if they want to be present for their children’s milestones, some parents have to work to make ends meet.
This situation is a bit different, however. Not only did Tabatha give sufficient notice, but she also did her manager's job and found coverage. Perhaps there is a piece to the puzzle we are missing in this story, but with the facts we do have, it certainly seems that a sick day is in order.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
