New Mom Desperate For Childcare Considers Surrendering Her Baby After Her Ex Leaves Her In The Lurch
This woman just got out of a bad situation, only to find herself in another one.
Evgeny Atamanenko | Shutterstock Parents endure a lot to care for their children. Sometimes, it’s all they can do to keep on going. But what happens when the support systems they rely on let them down — specifically, their childcare support?
One mom found herself struggling to keep her head above water after her abusive ex decided to bail on taking care of his daughter when she was scheduled to work. Thankfully, kind Reddit users stepped in to help.
One mom thought about surrendering her daughter since all of her childcare options were exhausted.
A mom shared the situation she was in on Reddit, which was simultaneously frustrating and heartbreaking.
“I finally left my abusive ex,” she said proudly in the beginning. “Been living on my own for over three months now. It has its days — since leaving I’ve had to call the police several times for things he’s done.”
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“Anyway, fast forward to today,” she continued. “He comes to drop our daughter off and tells me, as he’s driving away, that he won’t be returning till next week [on] Wednesday.”
“I work this week Wednesday [through] Friday,” she stated. “These days he typically picks our daughter up from daycare and brings her to me at 2:30 a.m. so I can take her to daycare. He can’t drop her off at 7:00 a.m. on his way to work because the daycare doesn’t open at that time, so this arrangement has had no choice but to work.”
The new mom's ex bailed on his childcare responsibilities, and she can't afford to call out of work.
That’s where this woman’s dilemma came in. “Anyway, I can’t just call out of work for three days straight,” she said. “I literally cannot afford it. I reached out to his mom and asked if she’d be able to take her these days but she hasn’t responded and I doubt she will. She’s upset that I pulled her out of the daycare she owns.”
This is something that was basically out of the woman’s control. “I had no choice because I was spending $100 a week on Uber to take the baby to her grandmother’s daycare when I had one in walking distance of my house,” she explained. “Keep in mind I’m a full-time student as well.”
Unsurprisingly, her ex was no help at all. “I asked her dad if he could split the babysitter cost for those days and he’s refused,” she said. “I can’t lose my job. That’s what he wants.”
That was when the mom shared the unfortunate truth of what she might have to do to make sure her daughter was taken care of.
“I’m considering surrendering her and just facing a judge when I’m called to do so,” she admitted.
Commenters offered plenty of encouragement and some helpful resources to this mom in need.
The mom’s fellow Redditors were quick to come to her aid. Above all, they wanted her to keep her child.
“Don’t surrender your daughter,” one person insisted. “What a mess that you will regret later.”
In addition to this support, others recommended certain resources this woman could seek out for help in her situation.
A fellow mom suggested the woman try posting in a Facebook group for moms in her area. “Moms will help,” she insisted.
Another suggested trying to find a Safe Families organization. “This is exactly the sort of thing they can help with — providing volunteer support to help a family stay together and survive a rough patch.”
A third person gave the exact advice this mom needed. “Does your area have a crisis nursery?” they asked. “The one in our area takes children temporarily for emergency situations like [domestic violence], homelessness [and] overwhelming parental stress.”
An internet search shows there are crisis nurseries run by various organizations located across the country.
The Center for Crisis Nurseries said, “By providing 24/7 support for children, Crisis Nurseries help strengthen and preserve families and can prevent foster care placements or long-term child welfare involvement.”
The mom who made the post later shared an update and said she found a crisis nursery that would help with her child.
Thankfully, there are organizations that can help parents who are doing everything they can under insurmountable circumstances. This story had a happy ending because of the support of a community and the kindness of internet strangers.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.