'Frantic' Mom Considers Calling Police On Her 13-Yr-Old Son After Discovering He's Been Online Bullying A Classmate
The situation is awful. But her son's reaction says everything.
pikselstock | Shutterstock These days, we all know how destructive bullying can be, and the advent of social media has made it even worse than it used to be. Most parents do all they can to protect their kids from bullying, but it can be even more harrowing to find out that your child IS the bully.
That's the situation one mom on Reddit has found herself in, and it's left her rattled to her core — and wondering what on Earth to do about it.
A mom is 'frantic' after discovering her son bullies a classmate online.
"Please help, I'm absolutely devastated and shaking," the Australian mom wrote in her Reddit post. She explained that she had just discovered that her 13-year-old son had been viciously bullying a former friend online — including telling him to kill himself.
She immediately took away all his electronics, which is what he was using to cyberbully the other child, including creating multiple fake accounts to do so. "He has absolutely no online presence anymore," she wrote.
She's also been in touch with the other child's family to "apologize profusely" and to ensure he's okay. But she can't help but blame herself. "I'm absolutely devastated and can't believe I missed it. I'm so angry at myself."
The mom is considering getting the police involved to ensure that her son understands the gravity of what he's done.
The mom's husband is in Australia's military and is currently deployed overseas, so she's facing this all alone. She's even having trouble reaching her husband. So she feels like she has to get drastic.
"I really want to take him to the police station tomorrow," she wrote. "He needs to know the absolute seriousness of the situation." That idea has certainly had an impact on her son.
"He has been hysterically crying and apologizing for over an hour now," she wrote. "He's devastated himself and when I said the word police, he visibly started shaking with fear."
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But without any support, she's unsure what she should do. "I'm just beside myself," she said. "I feel so alone at the moment, I don't have anyone I can really lean on right now."
Parents on Reddit felt that her son's remorse was a major sign that something deeper was at play.
It's hard to take in all the details of this story and not arrive at one glaring conclusion: Being separated from his father for so long due to his deployments has broken this kid's heart, especially since it has occurred during the difficult and awkward years of puberty. So he's lashing out in order to exorcize that pain in the only way he can think of.
That doesn't make it right, of course, but it is heartbreaking and speaks to the depth of his pain. Many Reddit commenters who've been through similar situations agreed.
"Former US Army here," one commenter wrote. "[The deployment] absolutely is at least part of it… A lot of people really don't understand the emotional toll a deployment can have on families."
The mom agreed as well and said she had already begun searching for a therapist for her son, as many urged her to do. Others applauded her swift and no-nonsense approach to discovering how he'd been acting out.
But what most struck me about this situation was the son's overwhelming remorse. That speaks volumes — both about his own character and about his mom's parenting. It suggests she's done a far better job of raising him than she realizes, even if things have gone a bit sideways lately.
Experts say this mom is doing exactly what she should be doing after finding out about her son's bullying.
Parenting and mental health professionals say that when a parent discovers their child has been bullying, they should essentially do what this mom did — enact some kind of consequence and then try to get to the bottom of why their child is doing so.
They also suggest having kids see a mental health professional because it is frequently the case that bullying stems from a deeper issue, like in this case. Attempting to make amends with the victim is a vital part of the process, too, not just to make sure the victim is okay but also to model accountability for your child.
Mental health professionals also stress that a child becoming a bully isn't the parent's fault — so this mom should let herself off the hook if she can.
What is certain is that she has raised an empathetic child who knows how wrongly he's dealing with the difficulties in his life. And by doing so, she's laid a foundation for her son to come out of this heartbreaking situation stronger and healthier.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.