Honest Mom Reveals That If She Didn't Hire Help She Wouldn't Enjoy Being A Mother
Motherhood shouldn't be an expectation of sacrifices.
@alyssa.seremet / TikTok The joys of motherhood can often be overshadowed by the hardships and no-days-off mindset that many women have been forced to adopt. However, one mom named Alyssa Seremet shared that she chose to hire her own village when it came to taking care of her children.
It was a decision that she didn't regret, and neither should any other mother.
The mom admitted that if she didn't hire help, she wouldn't enjoy being a mother.
"If we didn't hire help, I would not enjoy being a mother. I think it's really important for us to realize that our norm as a society is not normal," Seremet began in her video.
She acknowledged that it's fine if there are mothers out there who are overwhelmed and do all of the childcare on their own, but for her, that would've been detrimental to her mental health.
Photo: @alyssa.seremet / TikTok
Seremet continued, saying that she couldn't imagine being the only person responsible for making sure the house was clean, doing all of the laundry and the cooking, and then still having to give her baby all of her attention.
In terms of hired help, Seremet said those duties are usually delegated to multiple people but for a mother, she has to become the chef, the maid, the nanny, and the parent all rolled into one.
Photo: @alyssa.seremet / TikTok
"Being conditioned to believe that womanhood is suffering. We're expected to build up a man's career on our backs and raise a family on our own through blood, sweat, and tears. Being puked on, peed on, and you can't even stop and get a manicure. We're shamed for taking time for ourselves."
Seremet admitted that she never felt bad hiring help because, without it, motherhood wouldn't have been as enjoyable for her.
According to data acquired by the Pew Research Center, Mothers are also more likely than fathers to say being a parent is tiring (47% vs. 34%) and stressful (33% vs. 24%) all or most of the time.
Similarly, a survey conducted by OnePoll of 2,028 American mothers found that while 1 in 3 moms reported feeling stressed at least five days a week, 67% felt like a burden when they reached out to their family to share their feelings.
Photo: @alyssa.seremet / TikTok
"If you're planning to have a baby, keep that in mind as part of the expenses. If you can't afford to hire help during the day so that your wife or you could still have a life, and you [can] take a shower and go to the gym or fix your nails, or have someone help so that they can do the laundry so your woman or you could be in newborn bliss, you can't afford to have a baby," Seremet insisted.
Another woman praised Seremet's opinion and admitted she's glad 'we're starting to say the quiet part out loud.'
In a response to Seremet's video, another content creator named Danie agreed with the opinion that motherhood shouldn't be hard, and that there's nothing wrong with seeking out help, whether it's from professionals or other family members.
Photo: @danieisthatgirl / TikTok
"There doesn't have to be a caveat for you to enjoy your life," Danie remarked. "The way that life has been presented to all of us is absolute garbage. There's no rule that says the hard way is the best way and the way you have to take."
She continued, admitting that she doesn't have children, but is a working-class adult who spends 12 hours a day at her job. Danie explained that there are some days when she's expected to stay later, but is still expected to go home, do laundry, feed herself, drink enough water, text all of her family and friends back, and overall have a life of her own outside of the office.
Photo: @danieisthatgirl / TikTok
"For me, it's not possible without help. But then no one tells you, 'Hey if you are able to do these things, how do you hire a housekeeper? How do you hire a laundry service?' So can we have these conversations? Let's say the quiet part out loud."
Even without having children, trying to be a functional adult and balance all of the curveballs that life throws can be difficult. Just imagine how it feels when you add motherhood on top of that pile. For so long, women have been told that motherhood is supposed to be a sacrifice, but it doesn't have to be.
It's been proven time and time again that mothers who devote every waking moment to taking care of their children and the house suffer tremendously, whether it's from increased stress, anxiety, depression, or physical depletion. Just like a regular 9-to-5 job, employees aren't expected to work 24/7. Motherhood shouldn't have those same expectations.
Aside from being a mother, which is a beautiful and powerful chapter of a woman's life, there is so much more to womanhood and those things shouldn't be ignored or stifled because of outdated ideas and stigmas of the maternal sacrifice.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.