11 Modern Habits That Boomers Quietly Think Are Making Us Soft
Baby boomers don't care so much about change, but they want familiarity.
KucherAV / Shutterstock It’s not surprising when generational resentment and tension that have always existed are exacerbated again by the state of the world, especially when considering how younger generations like Gen Z grew up in an entirely different societal and digital landscape and have different attitudes around accepting and challenging social norms. Gen Z and baby boomers live different lives, have incredibly different values, and engage in hobbies, habits, and routines that are worlds apart.
While there’s certainly resentment and hostility coming from younger generations toward baby boomers, as shown by a 2022 study of #OkBoomer, a lot of the habits boomers quietly think are making us soft are rooted in a preference for familiarity, tradition, and comfort, rather than a direct opposition to Gen Z and millennials’ lifestyle choices.
Here are 11 modern habits that boomers quietly think are making us soft
1. Using therapy speak
Dmytro Zinkevych | Shutterstock.com
Language like “I’m so triggered” or “you’re gaslighting me” is are perfect example of therapy speak that many people in younger generations have engrained into their conversations and slang. While there’s certainly a time and place for these phrases, they pull from an openness about mental health and an accessibility to resources that many Baby Boomers didn’t have and don’t feel comfortable around.
That’s part of the reason this is one of the modern habits boomers quietly think are making us soft. They’d prefer to keep slang, conversations, and discussions about mental health personal and behind closed doors, rather than attached to casual and everyday conversations.
2. Overusing technology
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock.com
Many people in older generations have a strong distaste for technology and social media, especially considering they’ve seen the consequences of too much screen time on children, teenagers, and young adults. They witnessed a shift in critical thinking and social skills, and became frustrated with cellphones being used as a distraction or an escape from in-person connections.
While there’s certainly truth to the argument that overusing technology has severe consequences, as a 2023 study showed, baby boomers place a lot of blame on new technologies for younger generations’ struggles, whether personal, financial, or social. They believe modern habits around technology are quietly making everyone soft and pushing them into an isolated space where even phone calls are hard to pick up.
3. Avoiding phone calls
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock.com
The BBC reported on how many younger generations have developed a fear of talking on the phone and being forced to answer phone calls, rather than texting or emailing. So, naturally, they’ve crafted habits to help them simplify communication, especially in places like the workplace, where meetings and phone calls can often be a simple email.
However, this avoidance tendency may not always be the healthiest, especially in relationships where baby boomers and younger generations are forced to communicate, which is why many believe it’s making people unnecessarily soft.
Of course, it’s important to challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone, but efficiency is often equally important in places like the workplace, so a balance of phone calls and offline communication could likely benefit everyone.
4. Setting boundaries at work
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock.com
The world is so fast-paced that it's crucial to set boundaries at work, as discussed in Harvard Business Review, especially for younger generations of workers who value work-life balance, finding purpose, and separating their identity from their jobs. While baby boomers might have prioritized a sense of loyalty in their careers and put their needs on hold to show up for an employer, today’s modern habits are more individual-focused.
Gen Zers are less likely to work weekends, bring their work home, avoid taking time off, and save up their sick days than baby boomers, which is why it’s not surprising that setting boundaries at work is one of the modern habits that boomers quietly think are making us soft.
5. Practicing self-care
ESB Professional | Shutterstock.com
Whether it’s looking after mental health, working out, catching up with friends, or having a wellness routine at night, self-care has become one of the modern habits many generations are adamant about in their lives.
It’s also one of the habits boomers quietly think are making us soft. They spent decades pushing away emotions, ignoring stress, and overworking under rigid social expectations, so why should it be the norm to take care of yourself now?
It may not be a distaste for softness that’s fueling this discomfort, but also a resentment that they weren’t given the same grace in prioritizing rest, relaxation, and connection over productivity.
6. Protecting their peace
Ground Picture | Shutterstock.com
Many modern habits are tailored to the values of younger generations, like Gen Z, because they challenge traditional values. They have different needs, so it’s not entirely surprising that they are crafting routines and habits to suit them, rather than those of Baby Boomers, who had a completely different experience.
Gen Z is more likely to take active strides to protect their mental health, find balance with work, and adopt lifestyles or rituals to give peace amid the chaos. "Protecting their peace” might be one of the phrases that offend baby boomers, but that doesn’t mean it’s inherently soft or wrong.
7. Working remotely
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com
Many younger generations’ push toward flexibility in the workplace has made remote opportunities more common. However, they’re also one of the modern habits Boomers quietly think are making us soft.
However, just because different generations have different opinions on remote and flexible work options doesn’t mean one is inherently better than the other. Simply having the choice to work remotely gives many people a chance to focus on their personal lives, find comfort in their routine, and embrace work-life balance, if that’s what they want. It doesn’t have to be a discussion of right or wrong.
Of course, softness is something many older generations immediately condemn. It feels frustrating that they weren’t given the same opportunities and believe younger people should have to struggle in the same ways.
8. Expressing emotions as they arise
Rocketclips, Inc | Shutterstock.com
Boomers were often taught to ignore their emotions and grew up with a mental health stigma. They were taught that discussions of mental health and vulnerability are a sign of weakness.
So, modern habits like going to therapy, setting boundaries, and taking care of your mental health daily are things Boomers think make us soft. They view softness as weakness.
Gen Z workers are requesting accommodations to support their mental health and advocating for more work-life balance and flexibility. Gen Z and other younger generations' modern habits prioritize acknowledging their emotions and feelings, while boomers learned to simply push them down.
9. Getting participation awards
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
Many baby boomers quietly think participation awards are making us soft. Whether it’s a participation trophy for a team sport or recognition for hard work, many older generations take pride but would prefer to be individually recognized for their successes.
Modern habits to dismantle toxic ideas about work ethic and hustle culture often center on making everyone feel seen, heard, and valued. It’s still possible to be individually recognized and praised, but competition and exclusion aren’t the best ways to promote community, productivity, and confidence.
10. Being fluid
insta_photos | Shutterstock.com
According to studies from the Pew Research Center, Gen Z and millennials are more likely to adopt fluid attitudes with gender, identity, and self-expression than older generations, while avoiding rigid labels and definitions.
Despite baby boomers' criticisms, this fluidity isn’t a representation of uncertainty or a lack of commitment, but a flexibility that not everyone has the security and authenticity to achieve.
Boomers quietly think that adopting fluidity, rather than strict societal expectations, definitions, and labels is making us soft.
11. Prioritizing comfort
ViDI Studio | Shutterstock.com
Many younger generations take prioritizing their comfort seriously, especially compared to baby boomers, who find pride in their exhaustion. Hustle culture, rooted in constant productivity, allows little rest and isn’t healthy. If prioritizing comfort makes people soft, is it such a bad thing?
Making money, working, and being productive might be the keys to survival, but are they the keys to thriving, or is it just overworking ourselves at the expense of health and personal time?
Different generations may have different priorities about what’s important. If working hard and seeking challenges without boundaries is yours, more power to you, but demonizing a soft life will make it any easier or more fulfilling.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
