Mistress-Turned-Wife Admits She's 'Very Much Jealous' Of Her Husband's Ex — 'I Took Her Place But I Can Never Be Her'
"I like her a lot. She is an amazing human … And that makes me really insecure."
FoToArtist / Canva Pro When infidelity ends a marriage and starts a new one, there is typically nothing but drama, vitriol, hurt feelings — and often grudges that last the rest of everybody's lives.
But for one former mistress on Reddit, it all went very differently. In fact, it went in the entirely opposite direction. And while she's grateful to have had such an easy road, the lack of drama has left her feeling insecure.
The former mistress admitted she's jealous of her husband's ex now that they've formed a blended family.
By all reasonable expectations, this Redditor's experience should have been an absolute mess. "Our relationship started with an affair," she wrote of her now-husband, a father of three kids.
Soon after his divorce from his first wife, they married and welcomed a baby of their own into the mix. It's the kind of situation where you expect nothing but drama.
But it went precisely the opposite way, mainly because of the ex-wife's incredibly magnanimous and understanding approach to the whole thing.
The ex-wife was understanding about the affair and worked to make them a harmonious blended family.
Most of us would probably not be understanding about infidelity, no matter the circumstances. However, this particular ex-wife took an entirely different and very evolved approach to the whole thing — presumably in part to shield her kids from the drama.
"Their marriage was on the rocks, and my husband wanted to end it," the Redditor wrote. "When she learned about the affair, she didn't scream or shout at me." Instead, she had just a single question: "She only asked me if I truly loved her husband."
The ex-wife then communicated that her only concern was that the mistress be patient with her kids' transition. "She didn't even create any hassle in the divorce."
That doesn't mean it was easy. Even now, there's still some lingering resentment among family members.
But otherwise, everyone has come to a peaceful and civil blended family arrangement, and she's even come to like the ex-wife. When I was pregnant, she first congratulated me and even … sent a gift," she wrote. She is an amazing human. I am glad I don't have any ex-wife drama in my life."
But as grateful as she is, she feels like she's in the ex-wife's shadow, especially now that her own family has come to love the ex-wife.
Some complication was added to the mix when the ex-wife began dating the mistress's cousin. "My parents love her. Uncle and aunt love her. Even my cousin's kids love her," she added.
That has magnified the ex-wife's kindness and acceptance. For a while, it made her suspicious, and she even asked the ex-wife why she didn't hate her. She told me she didn't see the point because whether or not she hated me, her marriage was over anyway."
But grateful though she is, it has left her feeling jealous and insecure. "She is not just beautiful but also graceful," she wrote. "Even if I took her place in her husband's life, I can never be her."
People were impressed by the ex-wife's accepting approach — and some felt it was the best possible form of revenge.
It's hard to argue with the ex-wife's attitude and approach. Because she's right — when a relationship is over, it's over. Not that people's hurt and anger aren't justified in these situations, but it's inarguably a healthier response, in pretty much any situation, to simply accept what has happened and choose to move forward. The past can't be changed, after all.
Many on Reddit saw a life lesson in the ex's approach. To the question of how she could possibly be this magnanimous, one person wrote, "Simple answer: Because she loves and respects herself more."
Others felt she was "a true embodiment of 'living well is the best revenge,'" and in keeping with that theme, few had nice things to say about the former mistress, with many warning that her jealousy and insecurity likely have a very simple explanation.
"Maybe part of you thinks that if he can cheat and leave a beautiful, graceful, forgiving woman with whom he had built a life, he will eventually leave his mistress, and it won’t be as easy for you to pick up the pieces," one person eloquently put it.
That certainly makes sense. Regardless, this story is instructive.
Right or wrong, sometimes love and relationships just happen, and not always on the timeline dictated by marriage and divorce paperwork. We all have a choice in how we deal with it when it happens — and as both of these women show in very different ways, we have to live with those decisions forever, for better or worse.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.