3 Mental Muscles To Strengthen If You Want To Be Tougher During Hard Times
What you need to know about the saboteur interceptor, the self-command, and the sage perspective.
Mahrael Boutros | Canva In today's fast-paced and ever-changing world, resilience and mental toughness have become essential qualities for personal and professional success. When faced with challenging situations, the ability to navigate through them with a positive mindset can make all the difference.
Fortunately, research in the field of mental resilience has revealed that you can cultivate and strengthen certain "mental muscles" to enhance your mental fitness and become more adept at overcoming adversity.
Three Mental Muscles To Strengthen If You Want To Be Tougher
In Positive Intelligence, Shirzad Chamine, Ph.D. introduces a compelling framework aimed at enhancing personal and professional effectiveness through the cultivation of three mental muscles, the saboteur, the sage, and self-command.
1. The saboteur muscle
Chamine defines the saboteur as the inner voice or mental habit that undermines our potential and happiness. These saboteurs manifest in various forms such as the Controller, Avoider, Hyper-Achiever, and others, each with its destructive patterns.
Chamine's approach encourages identifying these saboteurs and understanding their impact on thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By recognizing and disarming them, individuals can reduce the negative influence and reclaim mental clarity and focus.
2. The sage muscle
In contrast to the saboteur, the sage represents our inner wisdom and a positive mindset. It embodies qualities like empathy, creativity, and calmness. Think about a time when you are in “the zone”—you feel confident, authentic, and strong. That’s your sage.
Chamine advocates for strengthening the sage by cultivating practices such as mindfulness, gratitude, and perspective-taking. The sage helps individuals make wiser decisions, navigate challenges with resilience, and maintain a positive outlook even in difficult circumstances.
3. The self-command muscle
Self-command is the third mental muscle emphasized in Chamine's method, serving as the ability to manage one's thoughts, emotions, and actions consciously. It involves developing self-awareness, emotional regulation, and the capacity to choose responses rather than react impulsively.
Through exercises and strategies provided in the Positive Intelligence Method, individuals learn to strengthen their Self-Command, leading to improved self-control, productivity, and overall well-being.
Develop the saboteur interceptor
One of the most important mental muscles to develop is the "saboteur interceptor." This refers to your ability to identify and pause the negative thought patterns and emotions that can sabotage your progress.
Our minds are often plagued by an array of internal "saboteurs"—thoughts that focus on judging ourselves, pleasing others at all costs, waiting for the next shoe to drop, having to be perfect and “earn” love and respect—and these saboteurs can hijack our thought processes, leading to stress, anxiety, and self-doubt.
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You might be familiar with how you act when you are in “saboteur mode.” Here are some examples:
- Saying something in the heat of the moment and thinking later, "Why did I say that? That’s not what I wanted to say at all. That’s not even how I feel.”
- Being so afraid to make a mistake you don’t act at all, even though you know what to do.
- Not speaking up in a meeting unless you are certain you are right — and then listening to someone else takes credit for what you are thinking.
- Not asking questions when you don’t understand something because you are afraid of what someone else might think.
The key is to become aware of these saboteurs and learn to intercept them before they can take over. This involves developing the habit of pausing and becoming present in the moment, rather than being caught in a negative spiral of thoughts and emotions.
Recognize your saboteurs
The first step is to identify your dominant saboteurs. Take a moment to reflect on the patterns of thinking and behavior that tend to hold you back.
Do you find yourself constantly criticizing your performance or worrying about potential failures? Are you prone to people-pleasing or avoiding difficult conversations? By becoming aware of these saboteurs, you can start to recognize them when they arise and take proactive steps to manage them.
The foundation of self-command is emotional awareness. By tuning in to your internal emotional landscape, you can start to recognize the triggers that elicit strong reactions and learn to manage them more effectively.
Strengthen the self-command muscle
Another key mental muscle to develop is self-command. This refers to your ability to regulate your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, even in the face of adversity.
When you’re under stress, it's easy to fall into reactive patterns of thinking and acting. You may lash out in anger, withdraw in fear, or become paralyzed by indecision. Strengthening the self-command muscle allows you to pause, reflect, and respond more intentionally and constructively.
Practice self-regulation techniques
There are various techniques you can use to strengthen your self-command, such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, and cognitive reframing. These practices help you develop the ability to pause, observe your thoughts and feelings, and choose a more empowered response.
Once you've identified your saboteurs, the next step is to develop the ability to pause and refocus your mind. This can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths or engaging in a brief mindfulness exercise. The goal is to interrupt the negative thought pattern and shift your attention to the present moment. Saboteurs keep you in the past, obsessing over failures, or in the future, worried about imagined threats. Sage mode can only happen when you are fully present, so self-command is a vital skill for mental resilience.
Ways to refocus your mind can be as simple as 10 seconds of:
- Rubbing your fingertips together and focusing on feeling the ridges.
- Placing your feet on the floor and mentally focusing on feeling your toes.
- Placing your hand on your stomach and focusing on how it rises and falls as you breathe.
- The Havening Technique.
Shift to a sage perspective
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With the saboteur intercepted you can then consciously shift your mindset to a more constructive "sage" perspective. The sage is the part of your mind that approaches challenges with empathy, creativity, and a sense of curiosity. By tapping into your sage, you can reframe difficulties as opportunities for growth and find more productive ways to navigate through them.
Tap into your inner sage
To cultivate the sage perspective, start by becoming more aware of the times when you're operating from a sage-like state. What does it feel like when you're able to view a situation with neutrality, clarity, compassion, and creative problem-solving? Notice the physical sensations, thought patterns, and emotional states that accompany this mindset.
Practice sage-enhancing activities
Some various activities and exercises can help strengthen your sage muscles, such as:
- Gratitude journaling: Taking time each day to reflect on things you're grateful for can shift your focus to the positive and help you cultivate a more optimistic outlook.
- Acts of kindness: Performing random acts of kindness, whether for others or yourself, can boost your sense of connection and well-being.
- Mindfulness meditation: Regularly practicing mindfulness can help you become more present, attentive, and receptive to the world around you.
- Curiosity: Seeking out diverse viewpoints and engaging in open-minded discussions can expand your understanding and foster greater empathy.
Embrace the sage's superpowers
As you develop your sage perspective, you'll start to tap into a range of "superpowers" that can help you navigate challenges more effectively. These include the ability to:
- Empathize with others and see things from their point of view.
- Explore new possibilities and creative solutions.
- Navigate complex situations with clarity and purpose.
- Activate your inner resources and take inspired action.
By strengthening three key mental muscles — the saboteur interceptor, the self-command, and the sage perspective — you can cultivate a greater sense of mental toughness and resilience. This, in turn, can help you weather the storms of life with grace, adaptability, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Remember, developing these mental muscles is an ongoing journey, not a one-time fix. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and embrace the opportunity to grow and evolve. With consistent practice and a commitment to self-discovery, you can become the architect of your mental fitness and unlock your full potential, even in the face of life's most daunting challenges.
Amy Bracht is a coach and consultant with a knack for transforming high-level concepts into practical solutions. She crafts innovative strategies designed to guide individuals toward their full potential.