Psychology Says If You Can Master These 15 Ideas, You'll Remain Happy Into Your 80s
The only person who can make you happy is you, but these ideas can give you a boost.
Natalia Blauth | Unsplash Most assume the ideas of money and success lead to happiness. While there’s nothing wrong with doing well in life, neither of those clues should make your list of tips for finding happiness. Most people have been on the hunt for that elusive quality called happiness for most of their lives.
Your mindset can be your greatest ally or your greatest enemy in life. When it comes to happiness, mindset ranks high with social support and love! It can be a deal-maker or a deal-breaker.
If you can master these ideas, you'll remain happy well into your 80s:
1. Happiness is not something you get from ‘out there’
We all have access to it from within, but we often close ourselves off to this spring of happiness. We do this in our thoughts and in how we pollute our bodies with junk and drugs.
2. Understand the happiness paradox
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The happiness paradox reminds us that focusing too much on our happiness can distract us from what truly brings us joy. Constantly analyzing our happiness can also be detrimental to our mental health, causing unnecessary internal stress and anxiety. A recent study suggested that instead of chasing happiness, people can focus on gratitude and appreciating what they have in the present moment.
3. True happiness comes from being fully present
When you are present and relaxed, you are happy, regardless of what is happening in the world that you dislike when you think about those things. True happiness comes from being fully present at the moment and maintaining a relaxed mind, even if external circumstances or world events are causing stress or negativity. Research published in the Review of General Psychology revealed that focusing on the present and letting go of worries about things outside one's control can still experience inner peace and contentment.
4. It’s okay to not always feel okay
It doesn’t mean something is wrong. Our resistance to not feeling okay often strengthens the feeling of ‘unhappiness.’
5. The quickest route to happiness is to let go of resistance to the nature of things
The most direct way to access our natural happiness is to accept and surrender to the way things are rather than fighting against or trying to change circumstances beyond our control. 2013 research suggested that by accepting what is, we can release the energy spent fighting against it and open ourselves up to experiencing the inherent happiness within us.
6. If you want a neat trick for staying depressed, blame others for your problems
If you want a fast track to feeling good, take ownership of your life, quit blaming others for your problems, and create something.
7. Humans are creative beings
If we react more (complaining) than create (building), we deny who we are. Losing what it means to be human is why we feel unhappy.
8. An overlooked component in happiness research is withdrawal and imbalance
When we consume processed garbage, we feel bad, and it’s challenging to feel happy when our bodies are in disarray after eating a bowl of Twinkies. When we quit any kind of drug, even caffeine, we’ll feel withdrawal, including psychological withdrawal.
I’ve felt flat and unmotivated for weeks because of this, but I am still happy beneath it. I don’t equate short-term displeasure and chemical imbalance with unhappiness.
9. The happiest people have stopped looking for happiness
Instead, they focus on creating things, being consistent, and being useful to others. An American Psychological Association study explained that genuinely content and joyful people don't actively pursue happiness as a singular goal. Instead, they find it a byproduct of living a meaningful life, focusing on positive actions, relationships, and experiences rather than constantly chasing a fleeting feeling of euphoria.
10. Happiness doesn't mean big smiles all the time
Modern (unhappy) normies think that happiness means you need to be smiling big, sparkly smiles all the time. It doesn’t. Happiness is quiet acceptance, not amped on dopamine.
11. An unnatural diet inhibits your ability to feel happy and creative
This is why I eat a primal diet that hasn’t changed much in the last 1000 years. Human bodies evolve slowly. Our diets have evolved quickly.
Is there a link between brain fog and wolfing a loaf of bread? Of course, there is. Bread and doughnuts are processed (delicious) food that blocks your deepest sense of happiness.
12. Many of us are frustrated because we think things need to be harmonious for us to live a good life
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But life is chaos, num nuts. Let go of this reality. Expect the bad moments. When they come, you can take them gracefully. You navigate the Earth like water, not mud.
13. We’ve lived entirely out of sync with how humans have naturally grown accustomed to living
I.e., spending lots of time outdoors, in the sun, eating meat, broth, and a bit of fruit, and not typing in equations on spreadsheets. Most of this modern work we get stressed about is essentially meaningless manufactured claptrap soon to be replaced by robots, here to prop up an illusory machine that could collapse at any moment.
What does this all mean? It means we must find compassion for ourselves. You’re doing incredibly well for someone willing to put up with all this — as we have for centuries. The best we can do is make the most of it, find meaningful work that interests us, and find a way to enjoy it.
14. Happy people are willing to be disliked if it means embracing their true selves
Follow what others might criticize as ‘weird’ if it’s ethical and makes you happy. Happy people often prioritize authenticity and self-expression over seeking constant approval from others.
They are comfortable being disliked by some people if it allows them to stay true to themselves. This idea is strongly associated with the book The Courage to Be Disliked, which explores the philosophy of Alfred Adler, where the key to happiness is accepting oneself fully, even if it means facing rejection from others who might disagree with your choices.
15. If you’re worried that you aren’t happy enough, focus on making others happy
One way (I hope) I do this is through my daily writing. I can see I help people through my words, and this makes me the happiest of all.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.