Psychology Says If You Can Master This Quiet Skill, You'll Remain Attractive Into Your 80s
It's not about looks, but how you carry yourself.
macniak | Canva Physical beauty plays a small part in attraction, but believe it or not, the energy we project plays the most significant part. Energy? That is interesting, but how does it help me be the fiercest person? The answer is that the woman with the calmest and most confident energy wins.
Psychology says if you can master the quiet skill of exuding calm energy, you'll remain attractive well into your eighties.
A state of calm is strongly linked to increased confidence. It allows for clear thinking, better decision-making, and a sense of control, fostering self-belief and the ability to handle challenging situations effectively. A 2022 study recommends practices like mindfulness meditation, often used to cultivate this calmness and boost confidence.
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Calm confidence doesn't mean that you need to squelch your personality; it means that you find value in it.
It doesn't mean that you quit laughing or having fun. Instead, you learn to love yourself unconditionally and wholly for who you are. Everything that you are is valuable and necessary. You play a beautiful part in the world as a whole.
When people see you trying too hard, it's a giant turn-off. Guys are attracted to women who love and value themselves. The most attractive woman in the room is always the one with the most confidence.
Think about a beautiful piece of art or a perfect flower. It doesn't have to do anything, yet it draws attention from many admirers — the same is true when you're single and looking for love. The best thing you can do for yourself is to become the best you can be.
Be that gorgeous flower and the bees will come to you. Dating is a hard and frustrating road when you're constantly worried that you won't find love.
If you become your best self, though, it won't matter if people think you're attractive because you'll start feeling such a strong sense of self-pride that you'll no longer need that validation.
We admire what we admire about ourselves in others. We all want love. Some people want marriage and some people just long for a companion to see movies with. Whatever form of love is right for you, it's all about seeing what you love about yourself in other people.
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If you're feeling your best, you're confident in yourself, and you exude a calm energy, then you'll remain attractive to others well into your old age.
If you want to draw in love, then start loving yourself with all of your heart. Say to yourself, day after day, that you are in love with yourself — and say it with conviction.
Being attractive isn't necessarily about being the most fit, tallest, or thinnest woman in the room. It's about exuding that quiet, unneedy confidence that people can feel from the moment you walk in.
People will sense your energy way before they notice your beauty. Finding value in yourself is the key to being confident, and being confident is key to being the most attractive woman in the room.
David Maestas, CPC, is a relationship coach and author of Loveaholic.