Man Wonders If He's Wrong For Not Wanting To Tell His Wife How Much Money He Has In His Savings Account
Do spouses owe it to each other to be transparent about their money?
Mikhail Nilov / Pexels / Canva Pro Money disagreements are basically a marital tradition at this point.
One man on Reddit had a financial tiff with his wife that sparked a discussion about what spouses do and do not owe each other when it comes to financial transparency and which financial arrangements are best for married couples.
The man won't tell his wife how much money he has in his savings account, and it's sparked conflict between them.
"So my wife today asks me how much I have in my savings account," the man wrote. "We don't share bank accounts, her money is hers, and mine is mine."
That might sound unorthodox, but it's not an entirely rare arrangement for married couples. A study by Bankrate found that roughly a quarter of Gen X and a third of millennial married couples keep their money totally separate. Gen Zs are even more likely to do so, at 38%.
Keeping money separate is one thing. Keeping money essentially secret is quite another, and this man's wife — along with many of his fellow Redditors — had a problem with him not being forthcoming.
The man felt it was none of his wife's business how much money he had since they kept their money separate.
The conversation came up when they were planning a trip to a local casino, which is a regular outing for them. His wife suggested he take a bit of money out of his savings so they'd have more cash to gamble with.
He told her he wasn't comfortable doing so — "I budget and don't touch savings," he explained. This seems to have made his wife curious, because the next day, "she just out of the blue asks, how much do you have in savings?"
"For me, it's not any of her business and I told her that." His wife was upset by his answer, which led him to wonder if he was wrong to refuse to answer her question.
Experts say couples keeping their money separate is actually a great practice — but transparency is key.
People on Reddit were definitely just as uncomfortable as this man's wife was, and felt it was fundamentally a trust issue.
"Honestly, it would be super strange to me to be married to someone who isn't even comfortable telling me how much they have in their savings account," one commenter wrote.
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Others didn't understand how such secrecy could even work. "I mean, are you kidding me?" one man wrote. "How can you fairly allocate bills, savings, spending when you go out? How can you plan for the future … without knowing each other's finances?"
Experts say this is absolutely correct. While joint accounts are still common, especially among boomers, most Gen X and millennial couples use the "yours, mine and ours" method — separate individual accounts, along with a joint one for shared things like household expenses and parenting costs.
But in these arrangements, transparency and open communication about money are key — in part because marriages are, you know, supposed to be built on honesty, and hiding money from your spouse can rise to the level of financial infidelity.
But experts also say secrecy about money hinders couples' abilities to both deal with any financial troubles that arise and effectively plan for their future.
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It stands to reason that you might miss out on things like investment opportunities when you're both in the dark about each other's finances, for example.
In the end, this man did end up talking with his wife about his money after reading his fellow Redditors' comments. Hopefully, more transparency will put them on the road to a better financial future together — and more fun days at the casino.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.