Man Texts His Girlfriend’s Roommate At 3 AM Asking Her To Be Mindful Of What She’s Wearing In Her Own Home When He’s Visiting
She did not know he was staying over and just wanted a glass of juice.
Stock-Asso | Shutterstock After a woman woke up in the middle of the night to grab a cup of juice from the kitchen, she ran into her roommate's boyfriend who was unexpectedly staying over.
While she believed that it wasn’t a big deal and went back to bed, her roommate’s boyfriend thought otherwise and decided to text her about her attire.
The man asked his girlfriend's roommate not to wear underwear without pants when he visits.
The woman shared a screenshot of the man’s alarming text to X (formerly known as Twitter). After running into him in the kitchen at 3 a.m. to get a drink, the man was apparently bothered by the woman’s clothing (or lack thereof) and sent her the message after she went back to her bedroom.
“Hey this might sound weird but can you not be in your underwear when I’m over or,” he wrote.
The woman responded that she was not aware that he was even spending the night and was just grabbing a glass of juice, not anticipating that she’d have to cover up to do so.
The woman’s explanation was not enough for the man, who told her to ask her roommate if he was coming over before going to bed in the future.
The woman did not understand the man’s concerns about what she wore in her own house, especially if she wasn’t expecting to run into guests in the middle of the night in her own home.
“Like I couldn’t sleep and was just thirsty he's acting like I was walking around in front of him all night or naked,” she shared in a follow-up post.
Others agreed with the woman that the man’s message was uncalled for, given the context of the situation.
“Isn't he over at YOUR house? Who is he to dictate what you do?” one X user noted.
“Even if you were walking around naked, [expletive] him! It’s your [expletive] house! You pay rent there. And like you said, you didn’t know that he was there. You have the right to walk around in whatever you like IN YOUR OWN HOME,” another user commented.
Others believed that if the man truly had an issue with it, he should have told his girlfriend to say something to her roommate instead of contacting her directly.
However, some people believed that the man wasn’t bothered by the woman’s attire at all. In fact, he may have liked it and feared that he would lose self-control.
“I’m shocked at the amount of women who think he said this because you’re making him uncomfortable. It’s not. He said this because he liked what he saw and wanted to see where it would go,” one user wrote.
“As a formerly single man, this is 100% a ‘testing the waters’ text,” another noted.
Ultimately, this is a roommate issue, not a roommate's boyfriend issue.
Regardless of motive, the man's text was in poor taste and not something this woman should waste any time fretting over. What she does need to address is boundaries with her roommate.
Sharing a living space with another person is never easy, but in order for it to be successful, they need to have open and honest communication and boundaries. The boyfriend was right about one thing: His girlfriend should have been forthcoming with the information that he was staying over.
Relationship expert Laurel House explained to HuffPost that it's always important to put yourself in your roommate's shoes before making any decisions, especially about overnight guests. She said, "How would you feel if their lover was bunking in your place? What would your expectations and sensitivities be?" She went on to say, "Open, honest, authentic communication is essential in order to avoid awkwardness or a fight."
Whether the man liked what he saw or was genuinely uncomfortable by it, it is still not his right to dictate what people wear when he is a guest in their home.
If he truly wanted to feel at ease, he should have invited his girlfriend to sleep at his place.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.