Man ‘Embarrassed’ That None Of His Friends Want To Attend His Destination Wedding
Unfortunately, that's the risk you take when planning a destination wedding.
vk_st | Shutterstock Getting married in Greece seems like a dream straight out of "Mamma Mia." The picturesque beaches and stunning scenery make the perfect backdrop for a wedding. However, for one groom on Reddit, wedding planning took a disappointing turn as his closest friends refused to make the trek to his chosen destination in Greece.
The man is 'embarrassed' that none of his friends want to attend his destination wedding.
"I’m from the UK and getting married in Greece in July," the groom-to-be wrote. "Invites have recently gone out and lots of my who I would call 'good/best friends' are RSVP’ing no."
The Redditor expected some guests to turn down the invite. After all, attending a destination wedding requires time and money that not everyone has to spare. However, he didn't expect his best friends and "ride or dies" to RSVP no, especially since he was the best man at one of their weddings.
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"What’s worse," he added, "is these guys have known for a long time we were having the wedding in Greece and have always said they were coming. It’s only when the invites went out that they have said no."
His bride-to-be will have many friends in attendance.
"She’s got nine bridesmaids," he wrote, yet their partners — people he is "good friends with" — have chosen not to attend. "All of her friends are making an effort for her and no one is making any effort to attend for me."
Even the man he planned to make his best man will not be attending the wedding. Yet his partner is coming and will be the bride's maid of honor.
"They have decided that only one of them can go to the wedding," he explained. "They have decided that the maid of honor is going to go even [though] me and my 'best man' have known each other all of our lives and been best friends. His parents are even going to the wedding as they’re my godparents."
The man is understandably disappointed by his friends' decisions not to attend his wedding.
"I feel now like none of my friends care about me," he admitted, and it's hard to fault his train of thought. You want the people you care most about to attend your wedding, and the fact that none of his friends are making the effort is understandably upsetting, especially since they did not communicate their concerns sooner.
"I should be looking forward to this day. It should be the happiest day of my life and all of this has put a massive downer on it already," he added. "I’m embarrassed and worried that she's going to have nine bridesmaids and I’m going to have no one."
Destination weddings inherently shorten a guest list.
Destination weddings certainly have their pros — beautiful locations, a built-in vacation, and even the potential for the couple to save money. However, they also have their cons, one being the likeliness that many people will RSVP no.
"The travel costs can add up for guests," The Knot wrote, adding that not everyone can get time off approved from work for travel either.
Nowadays even local weddings cost a significant amount of money to attend. A study from the Knot found that, in 2023, the average cost per wedding guest was $580, and the further the wedding, the more expensive it is to attend. "The average cost to attend a destination wedding for those who drove out of town is approximately $680," they added, "and guests who flew to a wedding reported an average spend of $1,600."
Of course, many people don't have hundreds of dollars lying around to spend on a wedding — a Bankrate survey reported that 21% of wedding guests say they "feel pressured to spend more than they’re comfortable with," 21% strain their budgets to attend, and 18% take on credit card debt.
At the end of the day, when you plan a destination wedding, you risk that not everyone who you would want to witness your nuptials will be in attendance. Between travel costs, childcare, accommodations, attire, and gifts, expenses quickly add up. When guests RSVP no, it likely has less to do with their friendship, and more to do with the fact that most Americans today cannot afford a vacation, to attend a wedding or otherwise.
As one commenter put it, "Your friends can care deeply for you, and also not be able to afford the thousands of dollars it will cost to attend your wedding. Both things can be true."
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.