Man Believes A Woman Not Paying For His Food Is A 'Character Flaw'
Many people believed that his expectations were a character flaw on his part.
4 PM production / Shutterstock A man sparked concerns on social media after criticizing the actions of a woman he had been seeing.
One day after inviting the woman over, he asked her if she would pick up food for him on her way over. However, when she asked for money from him to pay for his meal, he immediately grew skeptical of her character. Although, most people believed that it was him, and not her, with the problem.
The man said that if a woman does not pay for his food, it is a ‘character flaw.’
The man recalled an incident he had with a woman he was previously dating in a TikTok video.
“A young lady… that I was dating, whatever you want to categorize it as was coming over to my crib,” he said. He later referred to the woman as his “sneaky link” in a comment.
Since she was on her way over and the man was hungry, he asked her to pick him up some food. However, he was taken aback by her response.
“She said, ‘Oh, sure. If you pay for it’,” the man shared. He admitted that he was not expecting to have to pay for his own meal since the woman was the one picking it up. “I asked, ‘Wait, do I have to pay for it in order for you to bring me food?’ And she said, ‘Yes,’” he recalled incredulously.
While he ultimately decided that he would just pick up and pay for the food himself instead, he confessed that the woman’s request made him “look at her differently.”
“To me, that’s a character flaw,” he then said.
However, many people believed that it was the man who had a serious character flaw.
Life coach Shawnda responded to the man’s controversial claims on TikTok and explained that his expectations for the woman were unreasonable, especially since he and the woman were not seriously dating.
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“He goes on to say that he opens doors for women, that he books flights, pays for dinner, takes women out, and that he does it out of the goodness and kindness of his heart, and that he doesn’t keep score,” Shawnda said. “But to me, it sounds like you are keeping score… you do expect something in return. You are expecting a reciprocal relationship.”
Shawnda added that women in relationships often go above and beyond for their partners, and noted that if the woman in question was the man’s girlfriend, he would never be able to “outdo her generosity.” She went on to say, “We take care of our men, but you are not her man.”
Shawnda completely agreed with the woman not wanting to pay for the man’s food since their relationship was not at that point yet. Other TikTok users echoed Shawnda’s claims.
“How do you say it’s a character flaw because a woman doesn’t want to spend $20 to get you food?” TikTok user Rashann Stevens said in a video responding to the man. “You want her to give you wife and girlfriend treatment, but you treated her like a 304” (a term used to refer to a promiscuous woman on TikTok).
Despite the relationship status, asking for reimbursement for another person's expense is not a character flaw.
While some people may want to spoil their partners and pay for their meals out of the kindness of their hearts, it is something that should be discussed between them once they are in a relationship.
Perhaps you will take turns paying for meals, split the bill each time, or have one partner cover food expenses while the other takes care of the gas money to get to restaurants. It all depends on your personal relationship expectations.
In this instance, the woman not paying for the man’s meal is not a “character flaw.” If anything, he is the one with the flaw for expecting such things from the woman he would never do the same for in return.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.