Man Asks Fiancée To Cancel Her Bachelorette Party To ‘Save Money’ After He Spent Their Entire $10K Savings On His Own Bachelor Party
“He’s now calling me selfish and saying I’m not being supportive of our future together."
pixelshot | Canva Pro A man requested that his fiancée cancel her bachelorette party so that they could save money.
According to the man, he got “carried away” at his own bachelor party and spent more than he was anticipating. A whole ten grand more than he was anticipating! Now, he worries that if his fiancée goes to her own bachelorette party, the couple will start off their marriage in debt.
The man spent the couple’s entire $10K savings at his bachelor party.
Sharing her dilemma to Reddit, the 26-year-old bride-to-be revealed that she and her 28-year-old fiancé are getting married in just two months. Since getting engaged, the two have been saving up money to use toward their honeymoon and their first year of marriage.
“[We have been] putting aside a significant portion of our income to make our special day perfect,” the woman wrote. “We had about $10K saved in the account.”
Per pre-wedding tradition, the man recently had his bachelor party, and his fiancé was excited for him to kick back and have fun with his friends, and even helped plan the celebrations.
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However during his bachelor trip, the woman happened to check their savings account to find all of the money had vanished.
When she questioned her fiancé about it, he confessed his grave mistake.
“He said he got ‘carried away’ and ‘didn’t realize how much he was spending.’ He admitted that he paid for his friends’ expenses too, thinking it would be a great last hurrah before we tied the knot,” she wrote.
Even though the woman was furious, she kept her composure and told her fiancé that they needed to come up with a plan that would allow them to earn back their savings.
The man actually suggested that his fiancée cancel her own bachelorette party in an attempt to recoup his losses.
The woman shared that her bachelorette party has been planned for months, and her four best friends have already taken off work and paid their share.
“I’ve been budgeting carefully so that it wouldn’t affect our savings,” she wrote. “We’re going to a Michelin star restaurant in our city, renting an Airbnb, going to brunch in the morning at one of my favorite restaurants the next day, and I rented out an arcade in our city with unlimited tokens and bought a ton of junk food and candy for us to share.”
“Altogether, it was less than $400 a person, including the price of the restaurant, Airbnb, arcade rental, brunch, and Ubers, with myself spending $1.5K of my personal savings.”
However, the woman’s fiancé demanded that she call off her bachelorette party to save funds and to “stand in solidarity” with him after he blew all their money.
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“He says it’s only fair since he ‘made a mistake,’ and we need to cut back on expenses to recover from his spending spree,” the woman wrote.
However, the woman refuses to cancel her bachelorette party since she wants to celebrate with her friends and it was not her mistake that lost them all their money.
“He’s now calling me selfish and saying I’m not being supportive of our future together,” the woman revealed.
“I get that we’re in a tough spot financially now, but I don’t think it’s fair that I should have to cancel my plans because of his irresponsible behavior.”
Financial compatibility can be a major contributor to relationship problems.
A survey by SunTrust Bank found that money is the biggest stressor in relationships with 35% of survey participants experiencing relationship problems citing finances as the issue.
There's good news in that sobering statistic, however. Because this couple is discovering their financial issues before they are married, they have the opportunity to work through it.
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Priya Malani, co-founder of wealth management company Stash Wealth, explained to Brides, "When you enter a serious relationship ... it becomes vital for a couple to start talking about money and at least attempt to begin speaking a similar ‘money language.'"
Malani went on to say that while talking about finances and financial goals can be difficult, it's imperative that you get on the same page and set goals together. She said, “Most of the time, bad money habits come from either a lack of education because this stuff isn't taught in school — which isn't your fault or your partner’s.” She added, “Seek out education and advice so you can see the financial impact of current behavior on your future self."
Most people agreed his fiancée should not have to cancel her long-awaited bachelorette party because of his bad decisions.
“[Expletive] no. He lost the money; he can make it all back up himself without destroying your plans,” one Redditor commented.
“This is a pretty good preview of your life… I say run while you can before you get caught up in some crap and some bookie has you held as collateral for some ridiculous debt you never knew about as your whole life gets repossessed, and he runs for the hills,” another user wrote.
“I wouldn’t be canceling the bachelorette party, I'd be canceling the wedding!” another user shared.
Others begged the woman not to marry the man, as this likely would not be the only time he would help himself to their shared bank account and blow all their money.
The next time he could spend it all on a boys' golf trip while they have children back at home to feed.
Marriage is supposed to be about being a team and working together to make both your lives easier, not harder. No one should have to worry about spending their life in debt because of their partner’s irrational decision-making.
Instead of demanding the woman cancel her bachelorette party because of his own mistake, the woman’s fiancé should take responsibility and make up the lost money by taking more shifts at work, selling some of his things, or canceling any more future trips he has planned for himself.
He clearly cannot be trusted.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.