Maid Of Honor ‘Embarrassed' As Bride & Groom Read Off Exactly How Much Money Each Guest Gave As A Wedding Gift During The Reception
She didn't have enough money to give the newlywed couple as a gift, and the bride took that personally.
Gorodenkoff | Shutterstock A woman admitted that she was shocked at an announcement a bride and groom made during their wedding reception.
Posting to the subreddit "r/weddingshaming," she claimed that she'd been a friend's maid of honor but quickly regretted that decision.
She was 'embarrassed' as the bride and groom read off exactly how much money each guest gave as a wedding gift.
In her Reddit post, she recalled accepting the role of being a maid of honor for a friend that she wasn't too close with. Looking back, she admitted that she regretted that choice because there were plenty of other women the bride could've asked, but being a "pushover" and people-pleaser, she couldn't say no.
The only wedding she'd previously attended had been when she was young, and so she knew nothing about a ceremony and the duties of being a maid of honor. She decided to ask the bride-to-be for help and what she would need and expect from her, but the bride seemingly brushed off her attempts and simply told her, "You are not important here."
"So, I checked with my sister to make sure I don't miss out on anything I have to do. Apparently, my only obligation is to buy a cake for the ceremony," she wrote. "A week before their joint bachelor/bachelorette party, she complained how the best man told them that he wouldn't be able to give them a big amount of money as a gift because times were tough for him."
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The bride continued her rant, pointing out that the best man had a good job and, therefore, had no reason to be "cheap" and not bring enough money as a gift to the wedding. However, his only role was to pay for the priest, but he wasn’t able to do so because he didn't have enough money, not because he was being cheap.
"Naturally, I felt bad because I come from a family that always struggled with money and I was moving for college so money was extra tight. And I knew I could only give her maybe like half of what the best man could give," she continued.
The wedding day eventually arrived, and during the reception, she chose not to drink, but the bride insisted that everyone in her bridal party was supposed to get drunk. The maid of honor refused and asked one of the reception coordinators if she could get something nonalcoholic, which annoyed the bride. At that point, she admitted that she was frustrated and wanted to leave but couldn't since she had an important role in the wedding.
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"The best part comes later in the evening. Traditional weddings used to get people to line up before the couple, bring their envelopes of money, and give them to [the] reception coordinator to read on [a] microphone telling everyone how much money each person gave the couple. And they decided to go that route even though it hasn't been done in decades," adding that the wedding didn’t happen in the United States or the UK, so traditions differed.
At that point, she was nervous because she hadn't given the amount of money expected from a maid of honor, but instead of owning up to it, she told the reception coordinator that she'd given more than she actually did.
The bride complained that people didn't give her the amount of money that she was expecting.
According to Zola, an online wedding registry company, the average person spends 50 to 100 dollars on a wedding gift. They suggest the following breakdown: coworkers or distant relatives should spend $50 to $75. Friends or relatives, $75 to $100. For close friends, family members, or if you're in the bridal party, you should spend $100 to $150.
However, no one should have to break the bank when giving wedding gifts. A wedding ceremony should celebrate the love and union between two people, surrounding them with close family, friends, and loved ones. Monetary and material possessions are nice at the end of the day but pale compared to the memories made during such a meaningful event.
It's no wonder that the maid of honor ended up leaving the wedding following the wedding reception debacle, claiming that she was exhausted and didn't want to be around the bride any longer than she had to. Since that wedding, she hasn't kept in contact with the couple.
It's unfortunate that the maid of honor felt pressured and uncomfortable shelling out money that she didn't have and that the bride was adamant about enforcing such unrealistic expectations. Ultimately, weddings shouldn’t be about financially judging the guests or the size of an envelope but about companionship and celebrating the union between two people in love.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.