10 Life Hacks Of Wildly Confident People
From someone who spent most of their life awkward, doubtful, and twitchy nervous.
Ivan Samkov | Canva Confidence was only felt in specific moments and environments, usually when alone with my cat. So I learned everything I could about being confident, and I’m far better today. Here are some tips I’d recommend to those who want to feel confident right away
Here are 10 life hacks of wildly confident people:
1. They focus on three recent wins
Take a moment to reflect on the last few weeks. Pick out some little successes — things that make you proud and make you realize how powerful you are. Immerse yourself in the subtle and warming glow of these little accomplishments. This is training your mind to focus on what’s working, not on what’s wrong in your world.
2. They practice nasal breathing for three minutes
Studies show that nasal breathing — particularly if you block off the right nostril — stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes calm. There are few ways that more directly calm you down than slow breaths like this. When we’re calm, our natural confidence will automatically appear.
3. They find something interesting about others
Those of us who rarely feel confident around others are often overly self-conscious. We want to "get it right" and not make a mistake, so we focus on what we’re doing and end up twice as fidgety. To be confident, you need to take the attention off yourself. One way to do this is to look for things to like about others.
4. They speak more slowly
You don’t need to come off like you just swallowed nine sleeping pills to benefit from this cheeky little skill. Most of us are in a hurry to get our words out. We’re overcompensating for our anxiety and making things even harder. Slow down. It makes it easier for you to think and for others to understand what you’re saying.
5. They let go of needing to know things
The greatest destroyer of in-the-moment joy is wishing you knew what was coming down the pipes. No one knows, so stop thinking you’re any different. Confidence arises without effort when you accept uncertainty. When you’re uptight about needing to know, the last thing you’ll be is confident.
6. They let go of performance
Trying to be a certain way is to perform. When we’re trying to do things, as Ray Bradbury once said, it’s self-conscious and lousy. The trick of real confidence is to let go of trying to be anything and to find a way to enjoy what you’re doing. That’s how you enter a flow.
7. They speak more assertively
You’ll notice a common thread among people who lack self-confidence and those who tend to be disrespected or ignored. They have a non-assertive speaking style. What do I mean by this? I don’t necessarily mean you bound around shouting in everyone’s faces. I just mean you round out your words, and you speak with a bit of oomph. Talk like you mean what you say. Find your courageous self, and speak from there.
8. They drop their shoulders
People have been telling other uptight people to "just relax" for millennia because it works. Letting go physically — while not peeing yourself — will calm you down. You don’t require everything in your environment to be "just right" before you relax. You can choose to relax. When you do, your mind stills and your confidence rises.
9. They let their inner smile appear
Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
Try this cool little exercise right now. You can quickly turn a frown upside down by allowing an inner smile to emerge. This happens when we allow for it to happen. It’s that simple. There’s a curious energy attached that will light you up. This is the source of confidence you’ve been looking for.
10. They flourish in leadership positions
We all have a part of us that flourishes in a leadership position, no matter how shy we think we are. Confidence and a leadership mentality go hand in hand. You don’t need to wait for someone to come along and tell you: "You’re a leader!" You choose to lead. And when you do, you might be surprised at how confident you feel.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.