Life’s Complicated — These 5 Questions Make It Simpler
To get from complexity to simplicity, ask these focusing questions.
AaronAmat | Canva A complicated life creates stress. Simplicity has always been the solution. The best way I have found to get from complexity to simplicity is through asking focusing questions. Think about what is currently causing you continual stress or bother. What are you losing sleep over? What about the way you live right now? Do you know what is holding you back, even if you don’t want to admit it?
You will find that just by listing those issues, you will already feel your stress decreasing. You have clarity, and you might be surprised at how few things need addressing in reality. Then, narrow down on one thing. The more it continually bugs you, the more of a priority it should be. Call it out, verbalize what it is in detail, and write it down.
Life’s complicated, but these questions make it simpler:
1. What's one thing you can you do to eliminate or improve a problem you're having?
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It might be that the problem was never a problem in the first place and that what you needed was to give yourself a break and be more compassionate for who you are.
In other cases — and your gut will tell you — they need to be confronted. Do that thing right away. Devote time to doing this. Make it a priority.
Life is about dealing with problems that we have control over. Simplicity is about dealing with not only physical clutter but mental clutter.
Do not allow things to nag and niggle at you continually. It’s time to call that issue out by name and deal with it! Your joy is counting on it.
2. What's one object I own I can get rid of that would make me feel 1% better?
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Put it on the market for sale, arrange to give it away, or throw it away. Do this today.
I’m serious. Do this right now. Identifying and addressing things you can eliminate to improve your well-being can be a powerful tool for personal growth and emotional regulation, promoting self-awareness and positive change.
A 2022 study found that a cluttered environment can be visually overwhelming and create a sense of chaos, which can lead to increased stress and anxiety.
3. What's a subscription or expense I'm tied to that I could cut?
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Most of us don’t want to confront these things because it is complicated. Just find one. Do it now, or get someone else to do it. One at a time.
Financial worries are a significant source of stress and can negatively impact mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and other problems. Research suggests that paying can be psychologically painful, especially for things you don't need. Eliminating these payments can reduce this negative emotional impact.
4. What's one errand or to-do list item — were I to cut it completely — that would make life easier?
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Choose one and cut it now. If you already addressed this in a previous question, do it with the next thing.
Do this knowing that you will have more time and energy to focus on the things that matter more at this phase in your life. No one said this would be easy. End it. You can pick it up later if you absolutely must.
5. What's one relationship that's hurting you that you need to address?
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If people are causing you continual stress, lack of confidence, and drained energy, and you are in a position to do so, cut them out of your life. You need courage for this, but it’s easier when you remind yourself that life is short, and you cannot allow someone else to make you feel worse for more time than is necessary.
View bad people like bad habits. Some — if there is absolutely nothing that can be done to remedy the situation and work on an issue — need to be dropped, and, rather than hopping on the next bad habit/person, replaced with a habit or person that is better for you.
Sometimes, just by focusing on better people, those who never mattered will fade into the background anyway.
The other option is to improve your relationship with people: It could be that what is bothering you is that a relationship needs an injection of care. You need to do a better job of keeping in touch: call or check in with someone, or just work on a rift that can be remedied.
Learn to love yourself and to see the good in people. A lot of our issues with other people stem from our negative self-judgment.
Confront the issue with them gently, reasonably, verbally. Arrange a time to speak with them and come to an agreement that benefits both of you.
Get training on dealing with the relationship or future relationships better, like parental guidance. We are all capable of change.
The same thing applies to bad habits. It could be something you do that gives you short-term pleasure, but overall makes you feel worse, like watching the news, smoking, drinking too much, gambling, etc.
In all cases, these are relationships you have with people, activities, and things, and if they are harmful, dealing with them will simplify your life.
Pick a person or a habit and come up with a clear strategy for improving that situation today.
Your energy and happiness are counting on this decision. Many of these questions can be asked repeatedly, but the power lies in their narrowing down to single issues that can be addressed one step at a time.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
