10 Liberating Ways To Be (Really, Truly) Happy Alone
A longtime life coach reveals how to truly be content with yourself.
MixMedia | Canva Being single can be challenging in a world that seems to place so much importance on finding the love of your life. If you're unsure how to be happy being single, there are a few things to make the most of your singledom at any age. And you don't have to give up on love.
Here are 10 ways to be happy alone:
1. Learn how to relax
Your singledom doesn't have to last a lifetime. The worst thing you can do is panic and think you must find someone immediately or your life is over.
An air of desperation is a debilitating energy to bring into a new relationship with yourself or anyone new. It makes you ignore the obvious red flags and forces you to compromise your core values.
Be happy to have been allowed to get to know yourself better. Look at it this way: if you are uncomfortable spending time alone, what makes you think anyone else will feel comfortable spending time with you?
This can be a challenge for someone who continuously fills their life with another person only to discover they don't know, or like, themselves. Having a relationship with yourself is exactly like having a relationship with someone else: You have to be supportive, caring, and understanding, and you have to learn to listen and communicate with yourself. Sometimes, the only way to get you to listen to yourself is to force this "time alone" upon you.
2. Stay clean and sober
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Forget about coming home or staying home self-medicated and disconnected — it's not a good recipe for a successful relationship with yourself or anyone else, research from 2017 confirms. This is a sobering experience. It will start to grow on you if you give it a chance.
Why not take this time alone to get the help and support you need to beat your addictions once and for all? If you can't do it yourself, you won't do it for anyone else.
3. Give yourself a chance
Being happy alone does not happen overnight, especially if you are a recovering codependent. At times, you feel like you're invisible, that no one will ever love you, you're wasting your life, and more negative self-talk. The best thing to do is to take yourself for a walk or on a date.
Learn how to cheer yourself up. The better you get at being alone, the better you will be at being in a relationship.
For some, it is extremely challenging to cater to your own needs. Are you one of those people who will happily cook if someone is over, but if it is just you, crackers and peanut butter will suffice? Make the effort to cook for yourself. Seriously, this is one of the most self-loving things you can do for yourself
4. Study something new
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Wow, what a perfect time in your life to go to night school study online, or completely change career tracks. Figure out your passion and go for it. There is no one to hold you back but yourself.
Not sure what you are passionate about? Spend more time alone. It will come to you. Give yourself a chance to listen to your inner voice. This process can take time, and you have to be patient with yourself.
5. Meet new people
Not necessarily for romantic reasons but to expand your support community. If you are consciously staying out of relationships for a designated period, you will still need people to share your life with.
Friendships are paramount. Where would we be without our friends? Truly alone. No friends? Are you friendly? Do you make an effort to say hello and meet new people? Perhaps you need some help with overcoming shyness. Take responsibility for who you are or are not attracting into your life and make the necessary changes to attract some solid friends.
There is almost a sense of failure or there is something wrong with un-partnered people, which is quite ridiculous, especially since more and more people are realizing that the partnerships they formed early in life have failed to pass the test of time. They are now living a single life and learning to be happy alone.
6. Exercise
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Start with reconnecting with your body. It's the only one you have this lifetime, and we often look after our cars (which we can trade in) better than our bodies.
Singledom is the perfect time to get connected to yourself, your body, and the endorphins released when you move to keep your spirits flying high. Research from 2020 confirms that regular exercise can make us happier.
7. Rediscover your creativity
We all can create magnificence. You may have temporarily forgotten what you are here to create, but if you spend enough time alone, you will rediscover your creative self.
It's the perfect opportunity to play when no one is watching. So take out those pencils, paints, clay, inventions, designs, and let loose.
8. Focus your attention on your thoughts
Where are you putting your attention? What is your most dominant thought?
Take this time alone to become extraordinarily aware of your thoughts. Monitor them, erase and rewrite them, and spend at least 30 consistent days changing negative thought patterns.
9. Be grateful for what you already have
Each night before you go to sleep, concentrate on what you are grateful for in your life. Every little thing can help create the spirit of gratitude. If you are so inclined, start a journal about everything you are grateful for and watch the list get bigger each day as your gratitude attracts more things to be grateful for.
10. Step out of your comfort zone
Each week, plan to go somewhere new or do something different. Don't wait until a man or woman is in your life to follow your dreams.
You have more chance of meeting your special someone if you are living your life to the fullest. Even if you don't want to meet anyone, you still will have a blast following your heart's desires.
Being single and alone is a positive force to turn you towards greater creativity and enhanced personal development. In this "space" that you call your own, you can grow to know and love yourself as a separate individual.
One who is not dependent on another human being for their identity does not fixate or keep moving around seeking pleasure, comfort, and satisfaction from the energy of another being. You can learn to find contentment in and with yourself — just be there alone, calm, cool, and collected with the person you love: you.
Nicole Baikie is a Certified Coach with the Relationship Coaching Institute working toward her International Coaching Federation Credential.