How To Level Up When You Feel Like You've Outgrown Your Life
A therapist shares a helpful 5-step technique for honing in on what you truly need.
andrej lisakov | Unsplash I was watering my house plants and noticing which plants I would need fresh pots and new soil filled with everything a plant needs to thrive.
Houseplants continually evolve and need larger planters to help them thrive, and the same process of re-potting applies to your life.
We're constantly growing, changing, and developing. Our continued personal development keeps life fresh and invigorating. This is why personal growth is critical to our happiness.
Five steps to take when you feel like you've outgrown your surroundings & want to level-up your life
1. Take stock of all the things in your life you are truly grateful for.
Write them down in a journal so you can see them. Read the list aloud to yourself, then close your eyes and feel gratitude for all the wonderful things, people, and experiences in your current pot.
2. Next, take stock of the things, people, and experiences you are not so enamored by in your life.
Journal on them. Feel into them. What do they mean about you? Notice when you experience negative beliefs.
“I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy,” and “I don’t deserve” are a few popular ones. You may be feeling that somehow you are not good enough, or don’t deserve, or are not worthy of a bigger, better, more improved pot.
3. Think about where these negative ideas stemmed from and bust them.
If the negative material coming up is too much for you to deal with, confide in a trusted friend or professional to help you understand fully how negative beliefs are lies you are telling yourself.
Often, instead of evaluating ourselves, we point fingers at others. It is never helpful to point fingers. It always helps to stand in your power and focus on your own if you want to feel the expansion of some new digs.
This is the messy, muddy part of re-potting. This is where you get dirty as all the dirt gets dug up for you to process and sift through. This is not a pretty time.
4. Decide how you want to grow and what you want your life to look like.
Be patient because sometimes this phase can feel like an eternity. You may feel even more stuck in the mud for a while but eventually find yourself making changes naturally.
You may want to let some things, people, and experiences go that have served you well up to this point but are not anymore. Now, be careful of those negative beliefs surfacing! Now is the time that you will be tested. Combat those negative beliefs with a dose of self-care.
Just like a plant that has outgrown its pot, when your life feels too static or small, you may feel cramped and undernourished. Your personal growth is stifled.
Photo via Getty
5. Here are some ways you will know if you've outgrown your life.
- Your life feels like a yawn. You’re just tired of the same old same old.
- You may be bored at your job or current career and feel there is nowhere to advance.
- Your relationships may feel disconnected. Somehow, you don’t have anything exciting to talk about anymore.
- Nothing excites you anymore. You’re not sure of what you want and what will bring you feelings of joy.
- You may be growing out of the space you live in. You feel it might be a good idea to move. However, you’re not sure where you want to go.
- You’re not feeling very romantic, and your partner doesn’t seem to do it for you anymore.
If you’re feeling like your pot is too small, it’s time to re-evaluate your current one. When we can identify where we are and our feelings around it, we can create the new pot we want to live in. Then, your new and improved situation appears.
Make sure you take ultra-good care of yourself through this time. Eat well, rest, move your body, and take care of your feelings. Journal. Notice what or who triggers you and journal about it. The more you uncover, the better you will feel and the more perfect your new pot will fit.
Until, of course, the next time you are ready for a bigger pot.
Catherine Anesi is a licensed clinical social worker, Reiki Master, and a Transformational Group and Retreat facilitator. She is also founder of The Lighthouse Wellness And Retreat Center,